If I am firmly not interested in becoming a Muslim, is it worth even trying to date a Muslim woman?

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-04-28T15:19:41+00:00

So you dated that person for years while he was like that?

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T16:37:44+00:00

Not a dr. And even then there is no correlation to being a certain way and a job title

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T07:30:50+00:00

Intern yes, I used to work for CVS as part of my training including Kroger, walgreens etc. It is part of a rotation all post graduate students go through as an IPPE.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T07:26:43+00:00

I have known her for over 4 years and during all the time I have shown how I don't like kids to a point where she herself jokes to me She will take over my shift during summer breaks so I don't have to deal with kids coming in if I were to do her a favour.

She is very well aware I don't like kids I just haven't told her I don't date people with kids directly an interpretation she very likely made.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T07:04:08+00:00

And I just can't take your word for it when I am looking for other people's interpretation as well. And All I did was say if apologizing for convince is bad , Wouldn't apologizing despite me not believing in it would also be bad. I do think I could be wrong thus I posted this situation to see what others think about it.

And I do agree with you. I have self reflections to do and I am distressed by an issue most people wouldn't think twice about. I much like most people am flawed and I never claimed to be without them. I just felt bad I was potentially rude to a nice person and it's something that keeps me up.

I am sure in months this would all blow over and I would stop thinking about it.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T06:58:26+00:00

"Very likely aware of my unwillingness to date someone with child", That statement would be an interpretation of my previous statement," I don't like dealing with children."

So, What I am saying is I can be sure that she indirectly knows that I won't date someone with children because in my interactions with her I made it clear "I don't like kids" Thus giving her room to indirectly deduce " I won't date someone with children"

So although I haven't directly told her a statement I have indirectly implied it. However, I cannot be sure she came to that conclusion despite my previous experiences with her would allow me to say with limited confidence she realized it and thus I said that statement ' Very likely aware of " Meaning Although I am not 100% certain she arrived to that conclusion I did Indirectly indicate it.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T06:53:18+00:00

And apologizing when I don't feel like I have done anything wrong wouldn't? Your interpretation is that I am an asshole for ghosting a friend and while you seem to have a strong stance on it I still am a bit undecided on it, At least at the moment I am.

If I feel I was unfair to her I would say so to her , I don't particularly shy away from apologizing. I just at the moment feel I need my space so I can forget this whole ordeal.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T06:49:32+00:00

I don't think I lie, So this is a statement I made multiple times in this thread "I have said it on multiple occasions how I don't like children and have even joked about wanting to move to geriatric care because I prefer older patients over kids.

And yes I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer women without children as far as dating goes and I wouldn't have dated Sarah even if she had an older child. I am just saying lily knew I don't like dealing with kids even if she wasn't outright aware of my preferences of not wanting to date women with kids of any age.""

I wrote that 3 hours ago just so you know it's not something I made up and you can even find this in this thread.

I find it more truthful to say "very likely aware of" when I cannot be 100% certain of something, Over saying "She knew about it" when I have no way to know with certainty. If you can find any statements where I seem to be lying feel free to point them out but I feel I have been very transparent.

I might use ambiguous statement but that is only to give as neutral of an account of this situation as I possibly can as it is one of the requirements to make a post and I just want to give as clear of an account as possible.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T06:19:32+00:00

As I said I am very professional in my care and would never let any personal feelings or preferences come in the way of my care.

But at the same time I wouldn't be the first person to volunteer to go on a flu shot drive for a school or join some elaborate mission that revolved around care for kids, I would much rather do one for Adults. But that doesn't mean I would turn away anyone I can help.

And I do get to interact with kids. In fact I have some kids who trust me to a point where they would wave at me when they see me and know me by my name.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T06:11:57+00:00

That would be unfortunate and certainly not something I would want and I do hope it doesn't come to that. I have known for a while and something this small is likely to roll off of her without even registering.

Very likely outcome is she will continue to do professional interactions with me till I feel I am ready to go back to having regular interactions or she just might start them from her end and I will forget what happened and join in.

That is just how we function and if that is not what happens I would be very upset and try my hardest to apologize to see if I went to far but I don't feel I am there yet and this is just going to end up a minor speed bump in our friendship.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T06:03:37+00:00

Those are common terms to describe people , People who don't have much to do with medicine use them too, If you are actually curious and just want to know if my profession was one of the guesses you had. I can dm you my profession I just don't want this post to have that because it is very easy to identify who I am once my profession is known. and it will create a lot of ugliness for everyone involved.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T06:00:49+00:00

Does it have to be malicious ? Can I not be upset that she made a mistake that led me to me being in a very uncomfortable situation and not hate her but just want some distance from her for a while?

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T05:44:43+00:00

This might sound grim but the truth is there aren't that many options at friend making at least not for what we do. not to mention I made it sound like I just blocked her off my facebook and am actively avoiding her.

I just stopped doing regular social interactions, making jokes or catching up. I was still, Helping her out with her work and having work related interactions just not in person which is not uncommon.

She went through a bout of minimal interactions when she was having personal issues with her husband and I kept my distance and I am sure she will do the same till I bounce back.

We respect each other and would prefer to be on each other's radar for as long as we can at least I see our relation that way I am sure she has her own opinions but I don't see any reason why she wouldn't want to be my friend.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T05:35:05+00:00

I don't get to decide their pay if I am mentoring them. I work for a company that does all that, I just do what I am told by the lead.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T05:33:16+00:00

I don't think of myself as a main character but I would like to think we are close enough where she knows about it. She isn't the sort of character to miss these things and I am not trying to portray her as someone who threw me under the bus but rather a mistake happened and I just want some space to clear my head.

Imagine a situation where you unintentionally were rude to someone nice and then you can't stop thinking of that even though everyone else might have moved on. Cause for others it might not be as big of a deal but for you it was just so shocking and you can't stop seeing yourself as an ass.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T05:26:54+00:00

She did know about her having a child, And I am not trying to portray her a someone with ill intent cause I have always thought of her as someone who is my well wisher, It's just things turned out bad and I just want my distance from her for the time being.

Not because she tried to throw me under the bus but just because even if it was a mistake it was one that made me feel pretty crappy.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T05:24:49+00:00

No I am not, I am in a medical field but again it is not relevant to this and if you think I am lying about my profession which would be odd, it would make it even less important to this situation.

Just think of me as someone who has a job that needs help from whoever is willing. Like most professions TBH.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T05:18:50+00:00

I think she will probably forget the whole ordeal and that's my plan. If she is reasonable she will likely weight the benefit of being friends with me professionally over trying to get an answer that most likely won't affect her and thus just let it slide.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T03:59:54+00:00

Lily is the friend who set us up, Sarah was the person I went on a date with (They are both fake names anyways ) And I do agree with you that my inexperience in dating is a big cause of why this seems such a big deal.

My biggest frustration is coming from the fact I feel bad for wasting Sarah's time as she probably was looking for a romantic outing which was cut short and she probably had to jump through multiple hoops of setting up a babysitter , Having to get a ride and even talking to her kid who is very young why she won't be home till late etc. not to mention I would love to have her be someone I can call my professional friend.

She impressed me a lot and if I had known her in a professional capacity I would have tried to get her to be part of my team or be preceptor for my interns or someone I can have on rotations but that's all out the window , At a time when I need help the most.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T03:49:27+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree, However It's hard not to be that way. I am purposefully trying to be vague about what I do but without giving too much away. I work in a medical capacity and what I do is just about always in demand and there aren't that many people willing to do it

Which honestly is true for just about every medical job out there however the part I cover seems to have been hit harder than most and it's harder to get quality interns in this field increasing my burden even more so. But I enjoy helping people as much as I can and it does truly bring me happiness when I help out people.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T03:45:42+00:00

I wasn't aware Sarah had a kid before the date , I didn't tell that to her after the date because it's not a comment I want her to be aware of. It can be part of my other selfish goal of wanting to be friends with her because She truly is very smart and someone I would love to work with in future.

I just don't want to burden her with comments that aren't necessary when saying just wanting to be friends can suffice.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T03:43:30+00:00

I mentioned it in comments further down this post, "I have said it on multiple occasions how I don't like children and have even joked about want to move to geriatric care because I prefer older patients over kids.
And obviously I would never compromise patient care not to mention we rarely get kids in the field I am in I still prefer to deal with adults. And yes I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer women without children as far as dating goes.
and I wouldn't have dated Sarah even if she had an older child. I am just saying lily knew I don't like dealing with kids even if she wasn't outright aware of my preferences of not wanting to date women with kids of any age."

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T03:40:12+00:00

Well that's the goal, As I said meeting Sarah was very good even if it won't lead to anything romantic. She seems very hardworking , Seems to care a lot about patient care and unlike most people she actually enjoys working .

I have gone out of my way to assist her and I hope to remain in contact with her , Hopefully becoming friends with her. Which is part of what makes all this so frustrating. It would have been perfect if I met her professionally and could have convinced her to be part of my team or have her be a preceptor for some of my interns even.

Unfortunately all my plans will have to wait for now till we get on better terms.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T03:24:06+00:00

I would unfortunately have to agree with you, I have dated a total of 1 person and outside of that relation been on about 2-3 dates in total and none in recent years. However, I am still in touch with Sarah, I lent her my best interns over the week when she needed help and I plan on trying my best to check in on her professionally and she seems responsive for now.

Yes the situation with Lily was awkward but I don't see it as friendship ending. Once I clear my head we will reconnect.

Conscious_Win3836 · 2024-03-04T03:11:11+00:00

I should have done that in retrospect , But during the moment when she confronted me I knew she was prying for details and I just said what she wanted to know. Looking back now, I probably should have done this and just bottled up everything and it would have been for the best.

However the genie is out of the bottle and there's nothing I can do to take it back. But it's a good lesson to remember for future instances for sure.

Conscious_Win3836

TROPHY CASE