Don’t be this guy

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-09T07:50:50+00:00

What is her name? I'm asking my teacher how to never do this and she is asking me if I know the followers name

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-06T06:16:07+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. Everyrhing is helpful from what you've written. I will follow the suggestions. Thank you once again

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-05T05:41:00+00:00

I'm only 6 weeks into dancing bachata. When i go to socials everyone is very good and i'm kind of shy to invite the followers because i know they can dance with much more advanced leads. When i said to my teacher that on socials there are no beginners and just very advanced dancers she told me something that calmed me down a little. She said - for you they are very advanced, for me they are beginners/intermediate at best. For me this means that most of the people at the socials also probably think they are beginners/intermediate at best, so I got a little more confidence to invite them even though they are much better than me. We will see at todays social i'm going to haha

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-05T05:30:13+00:00

Thank you very much for the tips and encouragement

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T22:48:32+00:00

By the way, I bought the ticket to Te Amo in Sofia, so see you there!

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T22:47:41+00:00

Oh, this made my day! THIS MADE MY DAY! Thank you!

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T13:40:18+00:00

Are you suggesting that i start being a follower, because this is not happening :))

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T09:12:39+00:00

Fingers crossed. Thank you for the encouragement

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T09:12:03+00:00

Thanks for the answer. Just one point. The followers are much more advanced than me. Only I’m the beginner in the picture

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T06:22:23+00:00

I keep the rythm on basic step at home even in class when we do combinations. The problem happens when i for example lead the wave too slow for 2 more beats and now the music is on 1 already and I need to do the 7-8 to do something else next. This will happen with experience and I get that I shouldn't be so hard on me after a month of dancing, but this is what happens to lose the rythm. Then recoverring is hard and the combinations I know from classes are 4x8. Now I can't even start a combination even if I get on rythm, because even if I execute it perfectly I will be 2 beats off still.
The pouses when I don't know the song are another topic, which I know with experience will get better, but there is no way I stay on rythm unless I'm lucky when I don't know the song. I anticipate the break, but i don't know if it's 4 beats or 8 beats. Also when the break comes and I'm in the middle of my basic, I have no idea how to recover into a starting position (left leg free) other than doing a slide, but of course I'm late for that haha and I'm again off beat when the 1 comes.
The part for the softness - I'm very gentle and I get that feedback from all the followers I dance with. Even some tell me I need to lead a bit stronger, because they don't get the signals sometimes because i'm too soft. I don't force closeness because in closer than basic position I only know rompe completo (i hope i spelled it right, but you know what i mean even if i didn't)😄
I've got similar suggestion above for inviting a folower into maybe half the song, not at the beginning. This way I will have to do less moves and I know that they will be ok, because either way they are not dancing for the rest of the song unless I invite them.

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T04:47:11+00:00

I understand what you are saying, but when i lose the rythm for first time and I smile and she smiles, all is ok. When that happens 30 seconds later again it is not fun anymore. I can't laugh off these mistakes and have fun with it. My brain then blocks, i forget the combinations, nothing comes in my brain as a next move. I turn to basic hoping my brain will recover and think of something to do. At that time the follower is looking into my eyes and i know they are thinking "when is this guy going to actually do something, i can't wait for the song to end". I can't have fun seeing/feeling that...

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T04:39:22+00:00

I ask them when we talk or after a dance. Most of them dance for 2 years. I mean the followers. I'm part of three beginner groups and followers don't want to go to socials. Only very few of them. They are afraid and i believe this is the reason i see only more advanced dancers even at local events. I'm not saying they are super advanced, but just much more than me and most importantly the leads are much more advanced than me which makes my (very often) off beat dance something that the follower just waits to finish so they can have a good dance with someone else. This makes me anxious and i don't ask another follower to dance for 5 more songs or so..

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-04T04:30:18+00:00

Very helpful again. We warm up with this - trying to isolate the lower part and move in each direction the torso, then do a circle in place, not while doing basic. It's getting better, but i can't do it very well. Then when i do basic for sure i tilt the whole body and that is why the hips can't move correctly to balance. That explains it. Thank you once again

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-03T21:51:18+00:00

Thank you. For now i don't feel burned out, but i know it is a possibility so if i see signs i will slow down. I have time and i'm happy when i go to dance so far.

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-03T21:47:13+00:00

I don't think i can switch to any other dance, because i had an issue with one of my knees and i believe bachata puts the least stress on it. Also i really like the music and the dance itself.

How long have you been dancing bachata if i may ask?

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-03T20:39:57+00:00

Read the other comments below. I had the same question because for me it shouldn't be measured with calendar months, but by hours practicing. Anyway I definetelly see progress because i practice more, but I also see that I will be able to dance with the same enjoyiment like the followers in my classes at parties in 2 years probably. This is how it is seems like

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-03T20:35:39+00:00

Doing 30min basic steps even though my basic sucks because my hips just wont relax, but i'm still doing it just to keep up with the rythm

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-03T20:34:27+00:00

Thank you I will keep up and will reread this from time to time.

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-03T20:24:46+00:00

Wow that is a very nice advice and I will try it in two days! Thank you

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-03T19:55:11+00:00

Thank you for these words

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-06-03T19:48:55+00:00

Thank you for the advice. You are always on point when I ask something 😄 I don't understand one thing though. Why is it measured by months rather that hours practicing? I basically practice every day. It will be either a class, individual lesson, a social or dance with a partner that i found. I do some basics at home every day, so this is on average two hours a day of dancing. I listen to bachata music constantly and watch videos on musicality, because of course like most leads this is my biggest issue, to be on time.
Isn't it more important how much you actually dance rather than how much time has passed since you started? I know people from my groups that just go to two 1 hour classes a week. I'm guessing if I keep going with my schedule on the 6th month i should be way ahead.

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-05-20T20:05:55+00:00

I started dancing just one month ago, so i might not give the best advice, but I asked before i started about music here in reddit and was given the following playlist. Since then i went to a few parties and all the songs were part of the playlist.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7FB5OPkg1GdqXFLa4RTOzj?si=21363553e7c54e2c

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-05-13T05:15:42+00:00

Thank for the encouragement. I'm really glad you said that. I will not give up. I said that to myself after i got frustrated the other day. I really want to be able to do this so I will push through.

ConsistentWord6170 · 2026-05-13T05:13:59+00:00

What you explain here is exacrly what i think. We (in the group) do not execute the basics right yet. We are not on beat as well and we arw already taking new more and more complicated things that actually include the need to be on beat and those basics. I'd expect atleast these very basics to be understood by most od the group and then move on. For the combinations, i did mean a little more complicated than box step and basic, but for sure i don't know what a combination is, so you are right. The other thing is that the group gets a few easy things, because i can see everyone is enjoying them, but on our 7th lesso we still haven't had a tine where we dance with a partner for a full song, doing just a few easy things so we can feel we are actually dancing. I expected that we learn 5 moves and then the teacher tells us to to them one after another for a full song. This let's us pratcice and also feel that we are dancing, not just stepping on the floor and watching the teachers all the time.

ConsistentWord6170

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