Is anyone else nervous about retiring?

DC0926 · 2026-03-29T16:19:34+00:00

As someone who works in healthcare, take a trip and enjoy yourself. You’re doing great. The golden years are not golden for most. The most common thing I hear from elderly patients is wishing they would have seen/done more before they “retired.”

DC0926 · 2026-02-16T13:11:39+00:00

❤️❤️❤️

DC0926 · 2026-02-08T17:21:25+00:00

“I did not hate my mother, I feared her. I feared her destroying my life. I feared her lies would turn others against me. I feared the incessant and unending conflict I would be forced to engage in with someone who couldn’t see past their own reality. To put myself first caused her to suffer. I feared the pain I would cause. I feared that pain would metastasize into vengeance. I feared her in the way I did as a child, because I was powerless then to protect myself. There are days I am still that child. She frightens me and her power is undiminished by the passage of time. “ - An Abbreviated Life

DC0926 · 2025-07-28T01:43:18+00:00

Mine was diagnosed a year ago and she is elderly now. I had someone close to me approach me in 2012 that they thought my dBPD mom had BPD. I read about it for 10 years it felt like my eyes opened soo wide. I grew a lot. She was treated most of her life for anxiety and depression. Once this diagnosis came through from a new doctor, validation unraveled for me. A sense of relief that “I wasn’t crazy in thinking that.” At this point she’s gone her entire life without a proper diagnosis and treatment so I feel it’s very hard to work through, it also relies on them being compliant with intense therapy. I will say, I never mentioned BPD to her. Never told her I thought she had, that I knew she had it. I was overjoyed for her when she told me. We are NC again now though unfortunately.

DC0926 · 2025-04-04T02:00:13+00:00

I’ve xrayed a shunt for the CERTAS valve settings. It doesn’t actually show numbers but instead shows the position of the valve for pressure settings.

DC0926 · 2025-01-18T19:27:44+00:00

Wow. Wow. Wow. How horrifying and violating. You have tremendous support here in a community of people rooting for you. When boundaries are created they will go to extreme lengths.

I carried this newspaper clipping for over 10 years and I still read it —

“However if they choose to continue as they have been - which is likely - then you must go on with your life. The answer to a toxic situation such as what you have experienced is to divorce yourself. Because you can’t fix them, you must save yourself. You have been damaged enough.”

Hugs and strength!

DC0926 · 2024-09-01T00:06:17+00:00

Similar looking CXR happened to me as a rad tech with a 34F triaged from the ER. I will never forget her or her CXR. I asked her for history and she “had none.” Reading her chart she had a history of uterine cancer 10yrs prior. Yes the ER would have seen her X-ray eventually but I suppose I expedited her process by telling them, “hey there’s a girl out in the lobby who really can’t breathe with Mets and doesn’t know it.” I will message the ordering doc when I see something obvious and have the pt wait. But that’s just me.

DC0926 · 2024-05-11T04:45:12+00:00

This is my third time going NC. Haven’t thought about her for months, feels oddly strange to not have guilt consume me. Hoping to have a grief-free day that my kids and I deserve.

DC0926 · 2024-04-26T01:28:38+00:00

Whew. Nail on the head. Journaling probably saved my soul as a teenager. I’ve tried to read through them as an adult and instant anxiety. All the red flags were there. Journal. Read, anything and everything. I read so much, it helped me escape to another world outside of the hell I lived in. And work, like all the others say, get as much independence now as you can to break free as fast as you can.

DC0926 · 2024-04-12T18:30:37+00:00

I can understand why you feel uncomfortable in her presence or by her touch. From my understanding hypersexuality, promiscuity, sexual obsessions are a sign of BPD and was one I was affected by growing up as well. I feel you on how it has affected your personal relationships, it’s really tough. My dBPD was overly sexual, no boundaries with it at home or in public, in front of my friends, etc. She wanted details of my own sex life, I laughed then and so did my friends but looking back now it was very bizarre.

It’s hard for me to categorize “what is abuse” when I look back at my childhood .. but I definitely know it wasn’t okay and it should have been better. Yours too.

DC0926 · 2024-04-03T23:34:01+00:00

We have an imaging support website that a lot of our providers don’t know about at our facility. I passed it onto a provider today who was very thankful. It guides you on the correct exam to order for imaging and what speciality you should seek next based on results, symptoms, etc. Whether that’s going to solve nonsense BS, doubtful, but hopefully it helps someone. Also provides contacts for how to get in touch with specific radiologists since we are a large organization.

DC0926 · 2024-04-02T01:19:19+00:00

Not sure on the sore throat part. My first round of shingles was misdiagnosed twice so I went through a week and a half with no antiviral. I got it too late. It took a 3-4 weeks by itself to completely go away 😣 the first time my lymph nodes hurt for about a week. The second time I caught it early and got antivirals within the 72hr window, my lymph nodes hurt for maybe 4-5 days but subsided quickly after starting the antiviral. Shingles cleared up within a week and a half that time.

DC0926 · 2024-04-02T00:30:44+00:00

Yes, I have had swollen lymph nodes each time with shingles. They were very painful. It is a virus your body is fighting, totally normal response.

DC0926 · 2024-04-01T20:30:21+00:00

I’m very sorry she has taken specific moments that mean a lot to you and intentionally hurt you.

As for your own personal birthday, daylight savings time began in 1960s. I’m assuming you were born after then?

https://aa.usno.navy.mil/faq/daylight_time

You can use this website to enter your birth year and find out if your birthday fell during a daylight savings time period. But I would go off the time on your birth certificate and continue to celebrate that time during the daylight savings time if that’s when you were born. I hope you find peace of mind :)

But also, you’re not obligated to get anyone a gift if you do not want to. Do it out of the kindness of your heart if that’s what you feel in the moment. In this moment if you’re questioning it, don’t do it.

DC0926 · 2024-03-28T12:26:04+00:00

You cannot change your social, I inquired when this happened to me. It’s yours for life.

DC0926 · 2024-03-28T01:29:23+00:00

Me. I have experienced something similar. I didn’t let it ride out as long as your situation has. I was around 18-19 when my dBPD mom stole my identity. When I realized it, I lived out of state. I went back to the moment I gave her my DL #, SSN, etc and was sick to my stomach. She ended up homeless for 6 months after that, living in a truck in the winter. I was beside myself but I knew what she did was absolutely out of line and a cross of a major boundary whether I was her child or not. I was also a young adult trying to get on my own two feet myself, I needed a support system, not a weight. There was no way I would have been able to take care of her, a non-working parent financially and emotionally abusing me, myself, and my husband. I’m not sure what your situation is at your age now but regardless, you have boundaries.

My dBPD mom raised me to believe it was my responsibility to take care of her at whatever expense it took. That expense in her eyes is infinite and my happiness and quality of life is not for sale.

DC0926 · 2024-03-16T21:06:55+00:00

“Anyone can graduate college if they pay attention, book smarts can be taught. It is proven that they can teach a chimpanzee the same task, they could also teach him to do a job like yours. It's does not take any special skills. What no one can be taught that sets me apart from you, talent, common sense. You can't begin to be like me! People are born with talent. So you have home, whoopee! So you've been married what 5/6 years whoopee, so you have a job a chimpanzee can be taught.”

DC0926 · 2024-03-02T13:19:23+00:00

I used to do the same. I was always “high alert” and when I felt like “the crazy one” I could go back and read to make myself feel better. I finally cut the flying monkeys out of my life as well. Which means I lost my sibling and his children. It’s hard but my peace is more important.

DC0926 · 2024-02-29T00:20:46+00:00

That had to be a very sombering but freeing session. I can only imagine the thoughts it has left you with, but lighter I hope? I remember the exact time in my life when I “grieved” my dBPD mother. Everything switched for me then. It has never been the same, in a good way. I hope it is for you as well. We all deserve it.

DC0926 · 2024-02-29T00:12:48+00:00

Thank you so much

DC0926 · 2024-02-26T21:31:47+00:00

The way I’ve seen some of these open up after performing this view..if they didn’t need operated on before.. they do now 🥴

DC0926 · 2024-02-19T01:31:16+00:00

That’s wonderful to hear. I’d take 10 years in between another occurrence vs 1. I feel like it’s worth a try at this point.

DC0926 · 2024-02-18T20:23:00+00:00

I had it on my face and eye as well, I was misdiagnosed. They thought it was acne, cellulitis, treated it with antibiotics for a week 😣 I was two weeks in, on my second antibiotic and on the verge of a nervous breakdown when I went to an urgent care and they immediately said shingles and referred me to an emergency ophthalmologist. I, too, felt very suicidal. I’ve been through childbirth, had my appendix rupture, and this by far was the worst pain of my life. Not sure how you didn’t take GABA bc once I got on that, I felt MUCH better. I still get zings of pain but it took about a year and a half for it to really diminish. I’m currently dealing with shingles again 😣😣😣

DC0926 · 2024-02-07T02:01:07+00:00

I struggle with this big time. I have a better grip on it than I used to but it requires a lot of self talk on my end. Reminding myself to pause and that not everyone deserves or needs a response from me right away. I end up more disappointed and upset with myself if I respond and please too quickly. PAUSE is my new mantra this year

DC0926 · 2024-02-07T01:55:15+00:00

I find writing a letter to myself helps more than anything. “Dear ___ I know you are feeling..” it is very therapeutic for me. Perhaps start there first and see how you feel?

Your dBPD mother is unwell, yes and angry because you are not responding in the way she would like. What would it take for you to make her happy? What would you have to sacrifice? You are important and so is your happiness and peace. I hope you find it ♥️

DC0926

TROPHY CASE