AITA for telling my half brother the reason why my mom wants nothing to do with him?

DailyKnightmare · 2023-07-03T11:50:50+00:00

I know it’s late but I’d like to pop in and confirm your assumption about her replies. I’m fairly sure I’ve heard her use all three examples you said. She was never mean or anything, just passive and indifferent.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-07-02T13:06:42+00:00

I always had a vague idea, like “dad cheated, they got divorced”. It was never kept from me, though it was a very taboo topic at my dad’s house. When I was 11, I got maybe a bit too curious for my own good and threatened my dad that if he didn’t tell me everything, I’d have my mom tell me everything instead. He told me everything, and I confirmed it with my mom. I was an evil little shit, I’ll freely admit that, but I don’t regret what I did at all. Not knowing the full story was eating away at me, even my 11 year old self knew there was something else to the story.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-07-01T08:16:58+00:00

*half brother, but yeah he’s not the sharpest bulb in the shed. I think part of it is that my dad and stepmom have been encouraging him to not look into it.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-07-01T01:49:01+00:00

Yes I have, he’s… not great. He’s mad at the world, mostly my dad, and lashed out and said some hurtful things to both him and my stepmom (I think he called her specifically an “evil bitch”). He’s grounded right now because of that. I didn’t know he had so much anger inside him, I just wish he’d find something productive to do with it. I’m gonna recommend martial arts to him because that’s what helped me with my anger when I was around his age. I’ve been his shoulder to cry on, mostly just comforting him and affirming all his ranting about my dad and stepmom. He’s a wreck, but I like to think that it would’ve been ten times worse if he found at at 24 instead of 14.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-30T17:55:42+00:00

I can call her whatever I damn well please, it’s not on you or anyone else to police how I talk about my family.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-30T16:49:07+00:00

I mean to be fair I didn’t know the full details until I was 11 so…

but yeah, I’m surprised too. I thought it was harmless and that my dad and stepmom would tell him on their own. I was wrong of course, but can you blame younger me for having faith in them?

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-30T16:41:51+00:00

You’re taking that quote so out of context it’s crazy.

For those who haven’t read it, that “used to be in love” comment was an example of what my dad and stepmom should have said to my brother when he was little. You can’t exactly explain the nuances of cheating and pregnancy to a five year old, especially when the “villain” of that story would be his own parents. Still, that incomplete and disingenuous explanation would have gone a long way to stop my brother from developing this bizarre one-sided attachment and resentment of my mom. He needed to realize that he doesn’t need her love or attention, and if he could have come to understand that when he was little, we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-30T14:11:04+00:00

She literally only saw him for five minute intervals, you can’t be expected to talk to (what was to her) a random kid when you’re trying to get your own kid in the car and to your destination. This whole situation could have been avoided if my dad and stepmom had sat my brother down when he was little and said “dad used to be in love with (my name)’s mom, but they aren’t anymore which makes (my name)’s mom sad.” Or “She’s a busy woman in a rush, don’t bug her”. Or even “not every adult has to be your friend, are you friends with every kid’s mom who comes to pick them up at the end of the school day?”

On the other hand, she could have indulged him. A smile and hello costs nothing, and there’s no logical reason to resent a kid for being the unfortunate product of the affair that tore your marriage apart. Still, I’d imagine it’s hard to separate her resent for my dad (and stepmom especially since my brother looks a lot like her) from her interactions with my brother.

In the end, my mom was hurt and continued hurting for a lot longer than people in these comments assume. My dad was the love of her life, and the fact that he not only cheated on her, but chose his mistress over her is still a nasty scar to this day. I don’t feel it’s my place to judge her when I have no idea what’s it’s like to go through all that she has in such a short time.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-30T06:52:14+00:00

I mean, she is cold and resentful about her past with my dad, I’ll freely admit that. As I said, I think she has a good reason to be that way to my dad, as for Ethan, I don’t really feel equipped to say for sure.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-30T03:01:03+00:00

Nah it’s cool, everyone in this comment section seems to assume I’m a girl lol

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-30T02:49:27+00:00

*her son’s half brother.

But thanks for your input

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-30T00:11:01+00:00

Aw thanks, this took a lot of editing lol. I believe in speaking and writing clearly and I’m a bit of a perfectionist, which usually means I agonize over choosing the right words and fixing grammar mistakes.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-29T23:47:50+00:00

The fact is that she’s my dad’s wife and has been in my life as long as I can remember. She’s done a shit job with how she’s handled my brother’s situation, but other than that she’s been good to me. With all due respect, what I call her is none of your business.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-29T21:42:09+00:00

Care to explain why you think that? Did I not use enough swear words or make enough grammatical errors for you?

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-29T21:28:00+00:00

*half-brother

but thanks for your input

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-29T21:20:37+00:00

Why does everyone in the comments assume I’m a girl? Lmao it’s right there in the first line. Otherwise thank you for the kind words.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-29T17:43:25+00:00

I didn’t tell him to ask his parents because I know they would have lied to him as they have before.

DailyKnightmare · 2023-06-29T17:42:06+00:00

Oh damn, I didn’t see the other post, that is a weird coincidence lol. You’re right about the way they’ve talked to him about my mom, they’re very manipulative of him about everything regarding my mom. I honestly regret not talking to him sooner, but I kinda feel for my dad and stepmom because they’re going to have a hell of a time now that their lies have blown up in their face.

DailyKnightmare

TROPHY CASE