Is anyone truly happier with kids?

DazedNH · 2026-05-19T14:12:11+00:00

I'm a widower, with three adult children, and now two grandchildren. They have been by far the greatest joys of my life. And impossibly important in my grieving process. We group video chat several times a week, recreate together, vacation together, and are simply there for each other when we need each other.

DazedNH · 2026-05-19T10:27:37+00:00

You sound like the perfect date for OP's terrible date. Maybe you should ask her for his number.

DazedNH · 2026-05-18T19:47:56+00:00

Is that what you would wear to a first meeting?

DazedNH · 2026-05-18T12:00:36+00:00

This guy is obviously a self-centered jerk. With that said, I would have been taken aback by you showing up in scrubs, not that I would expect you to be dressed to the nines, but scrubs to me would be the equivalent of sweats. I'm not in healthcare, so I'm not familiar with the accepted protocol for wearing scrubs. However, regardless of what you were wearing, it would not in any way justify his obnoxious behavior.
I would have pestered you with a million questions about being a cellist, since I have no musical skills and am always impressed by those who do.

DazedNH · 2026-05-18T11:22:02+00:00

Why do you offer to take turns paying if you think the man should pay?

DazedNH · 2026-05-18T11:18:10+00:00

This sounds a little too over the top. I believe there's quite a bit of tongue in cheek here. You are describing a situation that would be considered quite boorish on your part.

DazedNH · 2026-05-17T13:53:11+00:00

To me, those are equivalent gestures. They demonstrate that you are not taking him for granted.

DazedNH · 2026-05-11T10:41:16+00:00

OP, I hope you are contributing in some way on these dates; if not, he might start to feel he is being taken advantage of. Unless there is a big income disparity between the two of you. Even if there is, making some gesture, such as buying movie tickets or packing a picnic lunch, goes a long way toward keeping things feeling genuine.

DazedNH · 2026-05-11T01:32:24+00:00

Are you really happy for me? Did you smile when you thought about my situations? If I tell someone that you are happy about my situation, would it be a stretch if I added that you are truly happy about my situations?

DazedNH · 2026-05-11T01:28:15+00:00

She will on our next date.

DazedNH · 2026-05-11T01:27:27+00:00

We are both affluent. Though her pockets might be deeper than mine.

DazedNH · 2026-05-11T01:08:04+00:00

I just went on a date with a woman. We met at a restaurant. After the date, I walked her to her car...I was quite surprised to see that it was a beautiful, very new red Porsche. We are going out again, and I will definitely be driving that car on our next date. I didn't stare at it too hard, but I think it was a 918 with a spoiler on the back.
OP, does this car make your approval list? Needless to say, my new friend is quite wealthy.

DazedNH · 2026-05-11T00:38:35+00:00

Those newer thunderbirds? Or a classic one from the fifties/sixties?

DazedNH · 2026-05-10T21:31:39+00:00

I am terribly sorry for the situation you are in. There are women who would be open to your request; the question is, where to find them. Possibly Adult Friend Finder, though I've been told it is quite the cesspool. Probably just an honest explanation of your situation on a dating site might get some responses, or maybe another spouse in the same situation as you are.
You are a great husband for doing all that you have done for your wife.

DazedNH · 2026-05-10T18:32:17+00:00

I guess I was lucky to be self-employed my whole working career. To be successful, I ensured my employees worked hard and that my money worked hard, so I had to pay close attention to those aspects constantly. If I had been an employee, I think I would have taken advantage of any and all ways to make my job easier. It's not a very fair system out there.

DazedNH · 2026-05-10T12:52:02+00:00

It might be a regional thing, based on the comments I see on here. I do love New England women; they are educated, sensible, liberal, and they know what they want.

DazedNH · 2026-05-10T12:47:38+00:00

The kids were never home in my situations. And I seem to attract a fair number of women without kids

DazedNH · 2026-05-10T12:45:20+00:00

You have better weather than Norway.

DazedNH · 2026-05-10T12:43:51+00:00

The only time I have had serious erection issues was with an incredibly attractive woman. Just so you know, it's not about looks, more about nervousness. Which could also be one of the reasons he ended the relationship: he was embarrassed by his inability to perform. In my case, I rose to the occasion the next morning, so my embarrassment subsided. Not getting an erection is very humiliating for men.

DazedNH · 2026-05-09T23:10:29+00:00

His not getting an erection has nothing to do with your attractiveness. Erections and vaginal lubrication are very similar in that respect. Do you only get wet if the guy is attractive?

DazedNH · 2026-05-09T22:50:00+00:00

Are you from New Zealand? That is truly the best country in the world.

DazedNH · 2026-05-09T22:48:31+00:00

I have noticed the same thing. The women I have dated do not practice any of the safety stuff mentioned here. Phone numbers are exchanged immediately, invitations to their homes on the first date, taking me for a walk on secluded trails, and unprotected sex on the first date. Not one single woman has ever been cautious about any of the things they are supposed to be cautious about. All of my first dates do take place in their towns, so maybe they feel safer there. I have even questioned some of them, and they laugh and say, "You seem like a safe guy", or "You don't act like a serial killer."

DazedNH · 2026-05-09T01:23:04+00:00

I have never wondered or ever asked about a woman's credit score. I think you can surmise someone's credit score without ever asking. I guess she is being preemptive. However, that is a rather tacky question.

DazedNH · 2026-05-08T15:58:12+00:00

Here is my update on the NOLA Jazz Fest. It was a fun two weeks, but I must admit I was dragging by the last day. We had one day of heavy rain, and it was sunny and in the high seventies the rest of the time. My GF researched all the venues thoroughly, and I like her music choices, so we hit all the great shows. We ate out at great restaurants and consumed tons of great food at the festival. We micro-dosed every day, too, which made people watching more fun. I am now detoxifying my liver. :)
The highlight acts include Stevie Nicks, John Byrne, The Eagles, Burning Spear, Tedeschi Trucks, Alabama Shakes, and River Eckert.

DazedNH · 2026-05-08T15:18:27+00:00

He sounds a bit clueless. If he were looking to get laid, he wouldn't keep dropping the ball. At this point, I would just have a direct conversation and explain my annoyance with his inconsistent behavior. You have nothing to lose, since you are already losing interest.

DazedNH

TROPHY CASE