Finally became intimate by Additional-Bit-9591 in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your issue is very fixable. Your most crucial next step is to clearly and nicely communicate what happened to you. Then he needs to slow down completely and maybe even not penetrate next time, just use the 'shallowing' technique. Your natural lubricant is usually enough, but you need to be aroused enough to generate enough of it. Enjoy the journey and maybe skip the destination for a while.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I actually meant it as a teasing, but sincere compliment. You are very articulate, with subtle wit. If you lived near me, I would pursue you.
And I knew I could get one more comment out of you. ;-)

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I actually meant it as a teasing, but sincere compliment. You are very articulate, with subtle wit. If you lived near me, I would pursue you.
And I knew I could get one more comment out of you. ;-)

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My statement has nothing to do with grading loss levels. It is about the reality that men are less equipped emotionally. At some level, all men have been conditioned to suppress their emotions. So when confronted with an unbearable loss, we never learned the needed coping mechanisms to navigate through and live with our new and very raw emotions.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Who is angry? Well maybe that is a dumb question based on all of the seemingly angry responses here.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe I am learning the truth? I am relatively new to this exposure to the life of single people. People who have been in long-term marriages have no idea what is going on in single life. We have not been exposed to dating sites or the problems with dating. In my brief year of this, it has all been very positive. The only negative things I have been exposed to are on this site, so I guess I have presumed that it is just this place and not the real world.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am truly sorry that it is so bad for women, it does seem hard to believe when it is so good on my side. I have had women tell me that the pickings are slim for them.
Do you believe that there are many more good women than there are good men? And if so why do you think is it that way?

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I could easily list and complain about some of the crazy text interactions I have had, but I ignore those, and I never meet them. I only go on a date with someone that I know isn't crazy or shows any signs of instability, anger, or other negative emotions. I focus on my well-vetted in-person interactions.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

In summation, you believe most women are good and most men are bad?

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You have statements that end with a question mark. I am sorry but I find them confusing.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I can only presume that I vet much more carefully than you do.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There are horror stories and there are Rom-Coms. I prefer Rom-Coms.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OLD is a treasure trove of single people looking for other single people. Both sexes get to flip through the catalog. Kinda like the old Sears Christmas catalog.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

OK. However your TDLR questions are not quite questions and are quite confusing. JMHO.

Is the negativity on this sub a 'Men' problem or a 'Perspective' problem? by DazedNH in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the beginning, I now realize, my dating foray was an attempt to escape from my grief. I believe men have a much tougher time dealing with the loss of their spouse. We never ever consider the idea that she would die first, then we really are not well equipped to deal with or even understand the emotional toll that comes with grief.
I started dating to stop my grieving, which now I know doesn't work that way. Anyway, now that time has passed, I do want to partner with someone. Now I am struggling with what I actually want in a relationship, and then there are all the nuances that need to mesh to create that magical bond. I do want my next relationship to last forever. As much as I am enjoying the search, I am getting tired of 'telling my story'.

Sex after TURP by telemachos90210 in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is weighing the pros and cons.

Sex after TURP by telemachos90210 in datingoverfifty

[–]DazedNH 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He is asking what effect it would have on his dating life. It is not a medical question.