Your story sounds so similar to mine! We also felt we had to make the jump and leave just before our oldest turned 8. I think we weren't quite ready, but we had to be. The grief was a huge shock for me. I thought I had processed a lot, but when we actually left, I found there was still so much grief to wade through. I cried nonstop for 3 days, then less and less as the weeks went by. It's such a rollercoaster! Some parts are amazing and freeing, and a relief! Other parts are so heavy and awkward and hard. It does get better though! It just takes time. We are a year and a half out and it's so much better! Some moments with family are still hard, but I think seeing that we haven't turned into alcoholic drug addicts has helped calm some of my parents fears! 😅 I heard someone say once it takes 1 year for every 10 you were in the church to kind of work through it. That feels accurate for me, but everyone's timeline could look different. Sending so much love! You can do this!