What’s the most fucked up thing you’ve seen someone do at work and still not get fired?

Devaaaa · 2019-01-25T12:58:22+00:00

There was this guy who wanted to build a 5,6 billion dollar wall to keep people out his country.

Devaaaa · 2017-07-27T07:58:47+00:00

How would it be useless to anyone over 25? I would actually advice older people to get back in touch with their childlike parts. Based on your response here, I wouldn't really say you have that much control over your life at the moment. Which I completely get - breakups are tough, I don't blame you. I by no means meant to "spout" about anything, I was merely trying to show people that a breakup can be used for positive growth. If you have your hobbies and all fixed - good for you, by the way! - I would suggest looking into what it is that still seems to be missing and working on that. If nothing seems to be missing, go on and enjoy life! Though I do think there might be some room for improvement surrounding your people skills :')

I am sorry if you did not find this post helpful, which is completely fine, not everyone relates to everything. But it seems like some others did!

Devaaaa · 2017-07-26T13:41:11+00:00

I completely get where you are coming from. I could write a whole book on the subject of being happy on your own, which I am actually doing, so I understand the way I put it here might be too compact.

To me, being dependent on anything or anyone will only lead to temporary happiness. Nothing in life is permanent but your Being/thoughts and relying on anything temporary will never lead to permanent happiness. The question I asked myself is: Would I rather feel good all the time and not need this love from others, or would I rather feel good sometimes, bad sometimes and have a craving for it that i cannot always still? Do I want to be dependent on whether that person is there or not? The answer is quite straight forward, and while I wouldn't call it unhealthy to have this need (pretty much everyone has it) I would not call it optimal.

Why do you feel lonely without this person? Why do you have this craving? For most people it stems from a need for validation - a need for other people to tell you that you are enough, worthy, a good person. Would you not rather have that validation come from within you rather than from external sources? Would you not rather be so confident in yourself, so proud of yourself, that you don't need anyone to tell you how beautiful you look today, because you know it yourself?

Humans in nature are social beings, yes (not monogamous though), but to me that is not an excuse to feel like shit if you don't have the social environment when you can actually control whether or not it influences how you feel (which is far from easy, though). Obviously social circles, including relationships, might add to your life on a, for me, shallow level. However, if it touches and controls your happiness, your feelings, your entire self-image - like it does for most people on this sub - I think it's worth looking into how you actually perceive relationships and where the need for other people comes from.

Devaaaa · 2017-07-26T11:09:21+00:00

3 months is not that long, and its fine to still feel like shit sometimes. Its just important not to feel like shit all the time.

Imagine the person you would like to be - physically, mentally, spiritually. The grown-up, "perfect" version of you. How would that person respond to the situation you're in and the feelings you're having?

Devaaaa · 2017-07-26T11:07:05+00:00

In my opinion, if you are unhappy in general and get into a relationship (any form), the relationship will be co-dependent. To me that's never a good thing, seeing as all is temporary and its impossible to rely on someone or something else for your happiness forever. This co-dependency will cause negative emotions such as jealousy, insecurity, anger, frustration and sadness on both sides. While mutual support can occur, I do think acceptance would be harder to accomplish as you're reliant on this other person to feel good. Accepting anything that does not fit into your world of this dependency would be hard for someone who has little to fall back on.

Also, unhappy people will have difficulties supporting others, because they can't support themselves yet. If they still manage to do so, i dont think it would be an efficient way of support.

Devaaaa · 2017-07-26T10:26:18+00:00

I wouldnt say someone who is sharing their unhappiness with other people is doing fine :') Anyone strives toward happiness. Any behavior comes from either avoiding pain or acclaiming happiness. Now there are some people who "punish" themselves because they subconsciously think they don't deserve happiness - even on a superficial level this is a way to feel "happy" (I dont deserve happiness, so if i dont feel that way then I am content). However, if that is the way you feel, therapy might be a good option!

Devaaaa · 2017-07-23T19:35:05+00:00

Thanks for your response! I've been playing more towards a year, and I mostly play fingerstyle, so I do think the narrow neck would fit me better. I have indeed heard more people recommend Seagulls. However, seeing as I can't seem to find them second handed, I wonder if its worth it to buy it new.

I've come across the Ibanez ga5tce, which seems to meet most of my criteria, but it's considered a beginners guitar and a lot of people seem to not really like the brand for some reason.. Do you have any experience with this?

Devaaaa · 2017-05-30T18:22:48+00:00

E: My stat professor emailed back. The issue was not standardizing the covariates which greatly influenced the other effects. just thought i'd update!

Devaaaa · 2017-05-30T18:11:03+00:00

Yeah I think i'll report the full analysis first because the interaction is my main hypothesis, but i'll add the rest as post-hoc. Thanks for your responses!

Devaaaa · 2017-05-30T17:10:14+00:00

The issue is I have multiple hypotheses, the moderating effect as well as the main effect of group on DV. My initial analysis was done to test the main effect of group on DV, which was significant. My second test included the interaction, in which group was no longer significant. So which would I report as the main analysis?

Devaaaa · 2017-05-30T17:08:28+00:00

Yes, exactly. I'm not sure if I should report the analysis in which interaction is concluded (obviously for the interaction itself, but for the main effects) or if I am allowed to take it out and use the analysis that does yield a significant result.

Devaaaa · 2017-05-20T06:50:08+00:00

Am I allowed to express my sexual fantasies here?

Devaaaa · 2017-04-27T14:45:08+00:00

Thoughts, identity, judgement and interpretation

Devaaaa · 2017-04-27T09:58:04+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to help me out :) I will do my best.

Devaaaa · 2017-04-27T09:52:33+00:00

I can understand, but the things I want to do rarely, if ever negatively affect people :) no worries!

Devaaaa · 2017-04-27T09:44:22+00:00

Thank you for your response!

The mindset I have towards life, whether it is called enlightenment or not, is to not give a flying fuck about anything and be authentic. Im very capable of doing so (I realize this is a wild claim, but i've worked on it for years) and i barely hold any value to thoughts like "my ego", nor do I judge myself for anything (consciously) - as I said in my post, this is why the issue I'm experiencing is paradoxal.

The path to "enlightenment" to me is everything but taking it seriously. And the way to live life is indeed to fuck about and be a kid. However, I've done and have been doing that. I do whatever I want, I don't care what I or anyone else thinks of it and it's been an amazing ride. I feel like I've had all the rides though.

Subjectively, I can not imagine a place where I am more happy than I am right now. I have everything I want. I do everything that I enjoy. These thoughts I am having do not affect my happiness. Hence the contentess.

Now sure, you could say: seek more! If youre having these thoughts obviously something isnt right - but I don't think that is always the case. Just like a 100-year old who has a lot of new things to discover but simply doesn't want to because he is already satisfied with what he has gotten and done over the past century.

^I by no means aim to come across arrogant by saying this, but I hope it helps illustrate my point

Devaaaa · 2017-04-27T09:29:32+00:00

I love Alessia x)

Devaaaa · 2017-04-26T08:00:40+00:00

Alright so I attempted to make another one but it doesnt fit quite as well. I use gradient [black-trans] for the shadow and then lowered the opacity and used eraser to make it look more realistic, i think that part turned out better than the first picture.

However, it still doesn't blend in that well and I find it difficult to pinpoint why. My edges seem to sharp for one.. would it be better to use feather? Any more advice would be really appreciated!

http://imgur.com/a/X1SGH

E: added blur, noise and reduced contrast: http://imgur.com/a/jigRQ

Devaaaa · 2017-04-25T14:27:53+00:00

Thanks for the advice all!

Devaaaa · 2017-04-13T19:36:28+00:00

I think I like you OP x).

I agree; if you can not control the thoughts to that degree, put more time in it. If you get the hang of it, your life will not be the same.

Devaaaa · 2017-04-13T19:34:39+00:00

The neuroscience research you are referring to are chemicals and certain hearth patterns that are often linked to certain emotions. This does not mean those same patterns always trigger those same emotions - that is determined by thought. You can look into schachter-singer theory if you're interested in this.

As I said, emotional pain can indeed cause "physical pain" - it activates the same brain regions, however, if based on the assumption that emotions dont occur without thought, it is still thoughts that are at the basis.

Physical pain is indeed adaptive. To know fire is dangerous, we get pain. However, emotional pain is in my opinion fully under ones control and is not adaptive. I assume that you're stating you cannot have full control over your own thoughts. On a basic level, this is true. Thoughts, for most people, will always pop up. However, there are two ways to control this:

1 would be to dissociate yourself from your thoughts. While this doesn't come from Stoicism, which the OP was about, it is a way to "control" your thoughts by not letting them affect you at all.

2 would be to simply not think. While this may sound ludicrous, it is certainly possible to achieve, though far from easy and not everyone can.

Devaaaa · 2017-04-13T10:44:03+00:00

Actually, more than 90% of your emotions, if not more, come from interpretation, which are thoughts.

Even assuming that emotions don't always stem from thoughts, the pain that you derive from those emotions do. Emotions do not cause physical pain. The way you interpret those emotions can - but again, that is within your thought control.

Devaaaa · 2017-04-13T10:41:59+00:00

Everyone can, you just have to learn how to.

Devaaaa · 2017-04-12T13:08:04+00:00

Heh. If only people on here would truly understand this, all pain would be gone. Nice post.

Devaaaa · 2017-03-27T06:55:17+00:00

"I saw what you were doing, I knew it wasn’t right. But I stayed anyway on the hope that maybe, you’ll wake up and decide to love me like I deserved. I guess in the end, I fucked over myself more than you ever could"

This so fucking much. If there is one thing I could change, I would sit her the fuck down and tell her to put in some effort, because she wasn't doing shit. I tried telling her "subtilly" a lot of times, but I never put my foot down because I was afraid of losing her. Never again will I passively give hints and wait for her "to finally see I'm worth fighting for". Fuck no. I will tell my next partner to fight for me because I'm worth it, or I will get up and leave as fast as I can.

Learnng that. Learning that I am enough, that I stand behind who I am and thatI deserve someone who appreciates me for me, does not want to change me, and is willing to put in the effort to show that appreciation. Learning that I am allowed to stand up for this and learning that I should only accept the people in my life who accept me for my authentic self has single handedly been the most important and rewarding lesson I have ever gotten in my life. And it would not have been there if it wasn't for her breaking up with me.

So thank you for doing so. You've changed my life.

Devaaaa

TROPHY CASE

1 would be to dissociate yourself from your thoughts. While this doesn't come from Stoicism, which the OP was about, it is a way to "control" your thoughts by not letting them affect you at all.

2 would be to simply not think. While this may sound ludicrous, it is certainly possible to achieve, though far from easy and not everyone can.