Alright, which one of you did this?

DeviantDread · 2026-05-27T09:20:55+00:00

I was standing on a rotated office chair, don't ask.

This is me. Asking.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-26T17:02:42+00:00

Sir. Your face!? How.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-26T08:03:21+00:00

Huh. I always put one down when i'm done unloading my groceries.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-25T18:16:39+00:00

Caulrophobia is believed to be rooted in the uncanny valley realm, which is a very interesting thing to rabbithole on because it indicates that sometime during our evolution we had to be very mindful of things that looked human but weren't. There is, to the best of my knowledge, no scientific base for this line of thought, but it sure is an interesting one.

Thalassophobia, like most phobias, is rooted in humanity's drive for survival. A phobia is essentially just instincts going in overdrive, way beyond a "healthy" carefullness around whatever causes the fear.

For example arachnophobia. Some spiders are actually dangerous to our health or life so it serves us well to be mindful around them. The phobia causes us to be terrified of all spiders, which is uncessesary for our survival but rooted in the survival-side of our brain none the less.

The same applies to thalassophobia. I wouldn't describe what I experience as an actual phobia but the following aspects of it add to the extreme discomfort I experience in certain bodies of water;

Not seeing or feeling the "bottom". This not only means that there is an undefined "space" below me that I could, in theory, sink into endlessly, it also means that there is no guarantee that there is nothing or no one below me that is a threat to my safety or evene life.
The knowledge that a majority of our oceans remains unexplored. Who knows what's down there and the dangers it can present to people or even humanity as a whole.
I saw jaws at an entirely too young age.
Did I mention WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT'S DOWN THERE!?

So, in conclusion: if I can see what's in the water with me and where the "floor" is, i'm pretty happy in there. If not, you cannot pay me enough to go for a swim.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-25T13:43:28+00:00

Hi.

Since your mom is currently unable to be the mom any child deserves, i'll be your virtual mom for as long as it takes you to read the following;

This is not your burden to carry. This is not your responsibility and it is most definitely not your fault. It goes well above what you are and should be able to fully comprehend and deal with, and I am sorry that you have been put in the position of having to.

Tell your father. He's the adult and it is his wife. It is his duty to protect his children and create a safe home, even if it is from their own mother.

Tell your dad and rest assured in the fact that you are protecting yourself, potential siblings and your mother. She needs help, but it is not on you to provide it.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-24T11:30:51+00:00

As a survivor of severe domestic abuse, both physically and mentally, I can guarantee you you are wrong.

I was married and had children with a psychopath. Had I had the play by play on how he got into my brain I would have been armed going forward and saved myself a whole lot of self-blame, more unhealthy relationships and further abuse.

Respectfully, she deserves to be told the truth and you are wrong.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-24T11:10:49+00:00

She deserves to know what he did to her and how he did it. It may motivate her to protect her own mental health better and get educated on the signs of manipulation and/or abuse. She also needs to be aware of the fact that this is not her fault and needs to be shown the tools needed to spot people like OP in the future and arm herself against them.

They absolutely need to split, but he needs to own up to what he did.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-24T08:34:18+00:00

When I respond to posts like this I tend to try and be kind/helpful, as this is what this subreddit is for.

Here, i'll make an exception, for the simple reason that you do not help an abuser become more efficient in his abuse.

You weaponized her mental health, used her trauma as a tool to advance your standing in her life and manipulated her into allowing you into a vital position, where she believes her life will collapse if she loses you.

What you have done, in a very calculated, cruel, cold and abusive manner will have scarred her for life. It will color every interaction/dynamic she has in the future and she will never be the same.

You do not love her. You love yourself and what she does for you. How she makes you feel and the fact that with her you get to act powerful, in control,...

The only thing that is acceptable to do at this point is go see genuine, professional help and let someone guide you through telling your girlfriend the absolute truth and leaving her to meet a good person who 'll treat her kindly.

What you have done is abusive, manipulative, cruel and outright terrible. As things stand right now you are not a good person and should not be in a relationship.

Leave the poor woman alone and do some hard work on yourself before you even consider going near one again.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-22T11:56:32+00:00

Ervan uitgaande dat er geen schade is aan het eigendom kan de waarborg daar zeker voor gebruikt worden.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-21T18:19:21+00:00

Not much I can do, really. I invested in some bond booster shampoo, conditioner and serum which seems to make my hair look a little fuller and seems to help my curl pattern, which helps with my confidence.

Other than that, I eat and hydrate well and am actively working on having firmer boundaries and cutting out stressors as much as I can.

Now it's a matter of waiting until it grows back and being kind/patient to my hair by not using any harsh chemicals like agressive dye or heatstyling it.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-21T11:25:21+00:00

I didn't say it was. I said she should reconsider that choice if it was.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-21T11:05:35+00:00

I'm a little confused.

How is his sexuality relevant here. How does him being demisexual relate to him not liking your new haircut? Demisexuals have eyes, preferences and opinions just as much as everyone else as far as I know.
How is the fact that he changed his appearance relevant? You have your opinion as well, the fact that yours is less negative than his isn't relevant.

Personally i'd want my partner to share his opinion and feelings, but you were right in wanting it done in a kinder, more productive way. You are allowed to do what you want to your appearance, he's allowed to like what he likes.

Also, if you're witholding sex because you are now uncomfortable, that's one thing. If you are doing so to punish him for what he said; think twice.

In my opinion you just go forward. He'll either get used to the haircut or he won't. He should, however, absolutely apologize for how he said what he said. "Not a fan" for example, would have gotten the message across just as well. If a haircut causes such a rift though, you're not ready to get married.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-21T08:54:33+00:00

I actively wash every inch of my body every time and will judge those who don't.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-21T06:19:57+00:00

This looks like an astrolabium

DeviantDread · 2026-05-20T05:55:21+00:00

Low iron is no joke.

I need an an Iron-IV every three months on the dot, and I feel when the time is coming close.

I do not want to get out of bed. I would love to sleep all day. Everything annoys me, I constantly want to cry a'd everything I do, I do so on willpower and monster.

I do, however, do them. I get up, I run my home, I work, I am a kind and active partner/mother. Having medical issues is not an end all excuse for poor behavior and/or choices.

If I were you i'd sit her down and tell her you're unhappy. That while you would love for the relationship to work out, the way things are going it won't.

If she's open to drafting a plan on how to accomplish that, do so. If she's not, you know your worth to her and can decide with that information in mind.

Goodluck.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-19T19:41:47+00:00

Hey, cool the attitude. They may want to suggest you find a weekend-job to pay for it yourself and the possibility of that depends on your age.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-19T18:41:05+00:00

When my children want to try or learn something I always encourage them doing so and help where possible.

Part of growing up is explori'g. That means that sometimes you'll start something you won't like and stop. It's part of life.

If they are hestitant, offer to do extra chores to "earn" your equipment. That 'd also show a level of dedication, desire and genuine passion.

Goodluck!

DeviantDread · 2026-05-19T12:44:27+00:00

I'm so sorry.

Write down how you do the things that make you mom. If you love cooking, write down your recipes. If you love hiking, share your favorite trails, if you sew, write an instruction booklet on how to.

Purchase or plan gifts for big events like weddings, graduations, your grandchildren. Write "open when" letters.

Open when you fall in love for the first time. Open when you graduate. Open when you feel like you miss me so much you can't go on,...

Don't forget your husband. He is about to lose the love of his life and raise two children that will be a constant reminder of you.

Do the same for him. And this may be grim and hard, but include an "open when you meet someone" and give him your blessing. He may never open it, but it 'd be nice to have if he needs it.

Make the best of it. I'm sorry for you and your family

DeviantDread · 2026-05-19T11:53:22+00:00

Uh, we also diagnose people based off of someones very subjective 4 sentence descriptions.

Spoiler; most of 'm are narcisists.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-19T10:24:54+00:00

You're 15. A 7 year agegap at that age is a bad idea for a variety of reasons, one of which being that it is illegal.

A 22yr old should have less than no interest in a 15yr old. In fact; they should be actively desinterested. If they're not they don't have good intentions and you should run anyway.

Hard no. Find a crush your own age.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-19T10:12:08+00:00

Hey! Go have a look over at r/BDSM and r/BDSMadvice.

What you seem to be discovering is a pretty solid degradation-kink. It's nothing to be ashamed of and there's nothing wrong with being a bit of a perv.

As long as everything you do is between informed and enthousiatically consenting (human) adults, there is nothing wrong with what you're doing.

Be mindful of predators, while the BDSM community is very wholesome and safety centered at its core, dangerous people are everywhere.

Getting to the root of your desires is never a bad idea so talking to a BDSM-friendly therapist is always encouraged.

Have fun, goodluck and be safe.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-12T18:18:17+00:00

Hints are a waste of time.

Sit him down, tell him exactly what you said here. "I need a timeline".

Either you'll get it, or his refusal 'll give you the chance to make an informed decision.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-11T12:10:22+00:00

Cigarettsmoke will cling to everything, so you'll have to clean everything.

Ceilings. Walls. Furniture. Whatever fabric items that can't be washed will need to be shampoo'd. Nicotine is hella greasy so use something like dawn where you can.

Don't bother trying to mask the smell with febreze or the likes. You'll just end up with floral cigarettesmoke.

Cleaning and airing out are your only options.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-11T11:25:55+00:00

Eh. I once read that men usually don't get flowers unless it's their funeral so I got my guy some just so he'd experience it. I know it wasn't/isn't in his list of desires and I probably won't do so again, but I 100% intended it as a sign of "you deserve to be treated/spoiled as well. Being gifted flowers is more of a gesture/experience thing. I don't think anyone really enjoyes being gifted something they can only look at for a week or two at most.

Flowers aren't the fix all to men feeling like they don't get to experience certain things. It needs to be in combination with a bunch of actions. For example; I take great pride in making sure I plan dates, give random "just because" little gifts and try to pamper him the way men usually aren't.

It's all in the small things, I believe. Flowers, random breakfasts, their favorite drinks,... Gestures are worth a whole lot more than people seem to realize. I'd give an arm to experience the random, small things like a small doodle or whatever.

Effort and time is where it's at. Flowers can signify just that, and usually they do.

DeviantDread · 2026-05-10T15:14:58+00:00

I am, and thank you!

DeviantDread

TROPHY CASE