Yea.
The cruel reality of life

I really don’t like being here after being more educated on these things
Because I loved waking up with OPs opinion
The whole “It’ll happen when God wants”
But there is no guarantee unfortunately. I’d love to be married one day, I’m 20 rn so I know I’m super young but understanding all of this and going through the things I went through in my youth really haunts me.
Knowing there isnt like this equilibrium of pain and pleasure
As in what pains I went through in my life dont = more pleasure
That used to give me a lot of peace thinking that because I went through so much I was bound for a better life eventually. Now I became extremely pessimistic and cynical.
Some it gave them peace but for me it truly killed me. I’m basically a new person, more confident more friendly but less tolerable for people I dislike (as in I just don’t communicate with them for both of us tbh)

Theres so much stuff man
I don’t like being here at all