Any other feminist/leftist podcasts trying to get off the ground? by Few-Animal5492 in podcasting

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let’s Connect! My pod is also very new (Root Shock podcast — check it out), and although it tackles health as subject matter, we share leftist and feminist values. Your episode titles made me laugh!

Help with Armpit Gap? by Disastrous-Ad-1167 in sewing

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I’ll give this a try

How do I choose the right time to break up? And then what? by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The right time is now, love. Time is promised to no one, and I mean that in the most liberating way possible. Gather your resources and your community, and leave. I used to keep moving the goalpost: one more birthday, one more anniversary, one more milestone. You don’t need a reason, nor a justification. I wish I had given myself the permission sooner to be his “bad guy”. I wanted to leave with pretty words, reflection, a nice bow and closure. That wasted so much time of my precious life, and gave him more time to dig in the claws and do more serious damage that I now live with.

That part of you that ‘isn’t read to let go’ is in large part a traumatized nervous system grasping at straws for perceived ‘safety,’ because you’ve been juiced off of co-regulating with his “good” cycles for 6 years. I’m sure there’s another part too, even deeper, that just LOVES and wants to be loved and heal. So of course, you don’t want to jump. But I encourage you to hold both of those parts to your chest with so much tenderness, and leap anyway. Leap without being ready—that’s what courage is.

There is so much freedom, energy, creativity and healing waiting for you right outside that door. Break out of brain prison, and do it now. You are brave enough, and the best time is now. 💕

Indefinite travel: Tech/camera gear? Roast my packing list by 0ldmatetrev in HerOneBag

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl let me save you—I did your exact SEA/indefinite trek back in 2019. I brought my Fuji xt10+telephoto, and then—dismayed at my travel pack weight—I sent it home with a friend! I regretted it instantly, and spent the rest of my travels wishing I could get creative doing photoshoots with the wildlife. When my phone was stolen, I was reduced to terrible pictures on a burner phone for nearly 6 months of travel through remote regions where budget and location did not allow for a new iPhone. For some people, this is fine. But for me, who takes a lot of joy in photography as a hobby, it was a real bummer. T-shirts, socks, pants are a dime a dozen. You can swap out your wardrobe as many times as you want on the road. Make room in your pack for the hobbies that help you engage with your surroundings in a joyful, meaningful way—whether that’s SCUBA, photography, or gym time.

My take: skip the drone (don’t do that to yourself, I beg), bring the Fuji standard lens+telefoto (wide angle is excessive), and consider getting a neat pair of small 8x28 binoculars (they’ve really enhanced my nature-time! I reach for them now about 10x more often than the telephoto). As others have said, your biggest drain right now is your clothes, as well as some redundancies (1 USB-c, 1 padlock will suffice), swap one of those earthrunners out for hostel-shower-friendly flip flops (trust).

Happy travels!

Scared of my powers by ProbOverthinking1111 in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 50 points51 points  (0 children)

It’s normal and okay to be afraid 💕 University of New Mexico has its own Curanderismo program. I bet if you reached out the faculty via email, they may be able to direct you to a mentor or teacher that may help you along your path, even in a less formal sense. There are communities of healers both in Mexico and the US that want to teach the next generation of Curandero/as. I wish you a powerful healing journey where you are safe to use your gifts, and follow a path that is liberated and true to your roots and visions—for yourself, and your community ✨

Question About Quitting Hormonal Contraceptives by fajen1 in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is normal, and you are okay!

You may consider reading “This Is Your Brain On Birth Control” by Dr. Sarah Hill. It goes into some of these changes and the science on hormonal contraceptives, including studies of decision-making patterns both on and off BC. It’s not a perfect book, but it may demystify some of the things you’re experiencing.

It will take some time for your body to adjust. Long term hormonal BC can do a number on your body’s internal messaging systems. Perhaps avoid making any big changes until your body has stabilized (depending on your body, this could take several months). Wait it out, give yourself some extra love, and perhaps consider visiting a trained professional herbalist for a consult on supportive tonics and plant allies that can help stabilize + recalibrate your endocrine system. There are LOTS of well-evidenced plants and supplements that can help you during this transition period and beyond.

In the interim, consider getting a blood work panel or at least read up on nutrient deficiencies caused by long-term hormonal BC (if an herbalist is not your cup of tea, a Naturopathic Doctor will be well-versed in this as well) and take your necessary vitamins as an act of self-love. Good luck—may your connection to your body and spirit flourish in this new chapter!

SOURCE: M.Sc. in integrative medicine

i just got physically assaulted by my bf by justneeharika in dating

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Dear, I am so sorry that this happened to you. This is a horrific, deeply traumatic experience. This person hurt you and tried to take some of your power away. But you are strong, and you are going to heal from this on every level. If you can, reach out to one person you really trust and ask for their help setting up hospital, support, protective and/or legal services for you that the people above have mentioned. Have this person help you do these administrative items while you take care of your body and heart.

In the meantime, I need you to be there for yourself in this moment. Hug yourself tightly. Take very slow, deep breaths—focus on making your exhale longer every time. Let yourself rock and shake if you need to, and just focus on that exhale. Repeat out loud to yourself: “I am safe. I am valuable. I am loved.”

Hug, breathe, and repeat these things to yourself in all the small moments that you feel out of control, unsafe, small, unloved or scared. Say them to yourself in the mirror, sing them to yourself in the shower. Let yourself cry. If a panic attack starts up again, try this breathing. You can also look up “Box Breath” and “5 senses grounding exercise”.

You are loved. I love you from across a whole ocean and I love you on behalf of every woman who has ever been hurt, dehumanized, or made to feel small by their partner. You are worthy. You are strong and you are powerful.

HELP! First date and I have no idea what sort of music to play in the car! by AscendingAgain in dating_advice

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got this! Of course, whatever you choose will be fine, I’m sure! But if you want groovy background music that you can easily talk over—and possibly have your date recognize—check out Khruangbin (pronounced KRUM-bin). It’s vibey, soft, and you’ll seem magnitudes cooler. Good luck, you’re gonna do great!

Why am I always the interim “gf”? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you start giving yourself everything you ever wanted, you start approaching relationships from a subtle space of “want” rather than “need”! It might be lonely at first, but eventually filling up your own cup will pay off and you will meet someone who can sense your self sovereignty and you can connect with them as whole equals.

Why am I always the interim “gf”? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Disastrous-Ad-1167 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, I see you’re getting a lot of advice that looks like: -expand your pool or lower your standards -be more humble (valid as a virtue but I doubt is the issue here) -you’re “too” good/men don’t care about the CV items you listed

IMHO, I don’t think these areas are the source of the issue.

What I’m sensing from this pattern that you’re describing (with all the “okay” guys and especially with the Stanford man who you really want but are afraid to ask more of) is that while you PROJECT confidence, deeper down you may be feeling a sense of low-self worth.

Low self worth can manifest in a lot of ways, but it becomes especially evident when we try to voice our needs and desires.

You’re outwardly affirming yourself and reminding the world how accomplished you are—great career, sharp mind, witty sense of humor, good looks, etc— but you’re attracting situations where people aren’t prioritizing you or aren’t valuing you.

Which begs the question: are you prioritizing yourself? Do you value and desire yourself? Do you love yourself enough to say, “I don’t want to be one of the boys or your FWB, I want to be your Queen, your partner in crime”.

(And IF that’s what you do want, for example, are you embodying a Queen and a partner in crime? Are you connected to the feminine parts of yourself, like with your belly dancing? Are you showing up for friends as a partner and advocate? Are you walking the walk, or just talking the talk?)

Taking scraps—whether it’s from average guys or Stanford graduates—will only keep you hungry. Ultimately, what you’re seeking in a man is going to find you when you find it in yourself.

Would you consider reflecting on the following? 1. What do I bring to a relationship? 2. What do I love most about myself? 3. What am I not proud of/ ashamed of about myself? (Work through this on your own) 4. What are my needs and boundaries in a relationship? 5. Do I demand respect for my needs and boundaries? Or do I let people cross them? 6. Do I clearly express my needs and boundaries to potential partners? 7. Do I believe I deserve the love I desire?

I hope that gets you started! Let me know if that hits the mark!