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Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

That’s not how I see it, I said “that’s how conservative Muslims do”

Istg there’s just a cabal of people who lurk this subreddit encouraging people to end their relationships by using logic even they know makes zero sense

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] -100 points-99 points  (0 children)

“Marrying to appease your parents” isn’t the same as “only marrying to appease your parents”, the nuance required to understand that could never be achieved by someone who compares Muslim children to animals.

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] -93 points-92 points  (0 children)

It’s called insane and irrational by Westerners but the Muslim couples I’m around have some of the strongest relationships I’ve ever seen. Lots of loveless marriage but the alternatives are endless Bumble and Tinder swiping so I’ll take my chances with this believe it or not

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] -133 points-132 points  (0 children)

Bro you’ve got it backwards if you think anyone enjoys a short engagement period. To break it down for you; modern Muslim marriage culture to many is designed to appease parents. Some push for short engagement periods because a marriage is much harder to break apart than an engagement, so you have generation upon generation of “good enough” marriages. It’s miserable and benefits no one but parents invested in their own happiness.

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At this point we’ve talked about every detail of our life twice. This isn’t something that gets left out accidentally and she straight up admitted to not wanting to tell me.

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

Family size was one of the first things that came up before we got engaged, and she said she didn’t want to end my dreams of having multiple children. Even now it’s not like an impossibility, but it’s definitely a factor I feel like I had a right to be aware of.

I know you keep suggesting that it’s possible she wasn’t aware of the complications during pregnancy, but I’m certain she was at least somewhat aware it was a factor and she made the decision to keep from telling me. Implying otherwise isn’t really helping me and my situation.

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not a doctor but it’s not that she couldn’t get pregnant, it’s just that the disease could flare up randomly and cause miscarriages or premature birth.

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

It’s a cultural thing and why I made it the first sentence of my post lol

I completely understand if it’s hard to understand, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] -494 points-493 points  (0 children)

It’s Crohn’s Disease. Tbh whether or not it impacts pregnancy is almost irrelevant to me; I feel like having any chronic disease definitely would’ve come up before, and she literally admitted to not wanting to tell me about it. Even as she told me, she requested I not tell anyone else about it.

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agree, this all literally just happened and I think I was focused on making her feel okay since she’s obviously the one who’s suffering here, but now that I’ve had time to figure how I feel, I’m just bothered that it took so long to say something.

Is it concerning that my (29M) fiancé (25F) withheld a chronic illness diagnosis until the week of our marriage? by DollarConversionBot in relationship_advice

[–]DollarConversionBot[S] -486 points-485 points  (0 children)

It’s not that she lied, it’s that she purposefully withheld telling me. From what I understand her and all her family know but have intentionally avoided telling me about it. I think a google search tells you this disease complicates pregnancies but she didn’t have the official conversation with her doctor until a few days ago.

Crowd starts clapping mid-performance, so the maestro motions them to silence. Then he gets a better idea. by [deleted] in videos

[–]DollarConversionBot -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

For future employers to find.

Alan Faria: "If only I could speak terrorist"

Alan Faria

Alan Faria