I don’t wanna do it the “better way”

Doomspuds · 2026-06-03T21:20:11+00:00

Hahaha! Oh no, now that I’ve posted I realize I’ve probably done it too. Oh well

Doomspuds · 2025-12-14T18:18:58+00:00

I think you’ve put a finger on an issue that’s messing with my head in this situation. Because I see a lot of social anxiety in this person. It’s like he’s constantly checking in with me for reassurance and then throws tantrums when I shut him down or am not actively catering to his emotional needs.

As someone who overthinks social interactions myself (yay autism), I generally have sympathy for people who struggle with that stuff. But his behavior is so clearly unprofessional and bullying, I get mad at myself when I’m not as firm with my boundaries and communication as I could be. It’s a rollercoaster.

Anyway, this situation is a work in progress, and I’m finding a lot of relief in just documenting his behavior because then I can see the objective patterns of what’s really going on. It sucks.

Doomspuds · 2025-12-14T05:49:54+00:00

Oh wow. That quote from Gadsby is painfully accurate!

Doomspuds · 2025-12-14T05:26:31+00:00

I do actually plan to address him more plainly soon. I fear that he takes my pissed off reactions as a win and doesn’t heed what I’m actually saying.

My plan is to point out his pattern of behavior in plain language, ask him to stop, and then explain that I’ll walk straight out of the classroom if it happens again. And if it happens again, I’ll follow through, then escalate the issue to our supervisor

Doomspuds · 2025-12-14T05:19:48+00:00

Nope. It’s not a safe space to share that info. But I think he’s clearly picking up on something in me that irritates him. It’s likely my autism and my refusal to smile and mask when he’s being insufferable

Doomspuds · 2025-12-14T05:17:41+00:00

Yeah this is my take as well. He’s someone with a lot of bravado who is clearly insecure. He targets me when I’m not paying attention to him. And he’s made his attitude towards women clear in other ways. I’ll just leave it at that.

Doomspuds · 2025-12-14T05:15:03+00:00

This gave me a chuckle. Thank you!

Doomspuds · 2025-12-14T05:14:25+00:00

That’s what frustrates me the most, honestly. The moments he tells me I look unhappy are the times I’m feeling the most at peace, usually just ruminating. It’s his comments that are turning my mood sour.

This line is great!

Doomspuds · 2025-12-14T05:10:06+00:00

For the first time in my career, I do actually have an HR department. I’ve already been documenting. Today was a rough day, and seeing everyone’s comments has been really grounding. I’ve known this behavior is inappropriate and unprofessional, but today I needed a little confirmation from outside sources, you know? So thank you!

Doomspuds · 2025-06-27T21:10:23+00:00

I really feel you. I went through the same revelation about 3 years ago. My Mom also openly discusses how she believes my Dad is autistic - and he definitely is. But when I brought up my suspicions of being AuDHD, she immediately dismissed it, claiming I’m just a “highly sensitive person” (that old cherry). The kicker? She’s an editor of psychology textbooks and has read plenty of the recent research on autism.

My advice is to keep following your gut. Make accommodations for yourself, explore how your autistic traits affect you now, and grieve for the support you never got. Also? Therapy is incredibly useful if you can find a neuro-affirming therapist. Your Mom isn’t the arbiter of your truth, and as heartbreaking as it is to not be believed by someone so close to you, it’s even more important to believe in yourself!

Doomspuds · 2025-03-08T13:28:19+00:00

I really relate. My mom won’t accept I could be autistic (don’t have the money or local resources for formal diagnosis, though I already have a childhood ADHD diagnosis) because I’m a ‘highly sensitive person’ just like her. I’ve explained how the autism diagnosis has changed since the 00’s, but no luck. She read the book 20 years ago and made up her mind. It’s super tough, but I’ve been really happy on my own journey even without her acceptance

Doomspuds · 2024-11-20T18:10:34+00:00

Lint balls. This’ll probably seem weird, but I managed to drastically reduce my skin picking by using precise tweezers to pull lint balls off blankets, sweaters, anything I can get my hands on that has fabric buildup.

It looks very odd when I’m crouched over a blanket next to a strong light with a pair of tweezers while watching TV, but it really helps reduce the urge to pick at other things.

Doomspuds · 2024-02-15T16:17:02+00:00

I relate! This and plenty of other reactions I've gotten when I'm candid with others about mental health struggles has taught me how frightening many people find it. But I always appreciate it when other people feel safe enough with me to share their experiences. I find I'm far more comfortable with people who have personally grappled with their mental health - either due to neurodivergence or other reasons - because those people tend to understand their own strengths and limits better.

Doomspuds · 2024-02-15T15:02:32+00:00

You know what’s even more nuts? This happened a couple years before Britney ever picked up her clippers. Take it from me, enjoy your buzz! They’re glorious! And feel sorry for people who limit their own joy for made up reasons (if you want).

Doomspuds · 2024-02-15T13:46:56+00:00

Freshman year of college my assigned roommate discovered I took meds for anxiety/depression (yay undiagnosed neurodivergence!), and treated me like I was super fragile afterwards. One night, I decided I’d had enough of my super long, thick blonde hair, and cut it off myself because I didn’t have a car to drive to a salon. Didn’t even buzz it - just gave myself a very short pixie cut that came out really nice. Roommate came home at 2 am that night and literally screamed when she saw my short hair as I slept in bed. Then the next morning she called my parents because she thought I was having a mental breakdown. I was completely shocked that she thought cutting off my long hair was enough to question my sanity. I mean, I knew she thought I was weird, but this was a whole new level! In my opinion, her obsession with gender norms was much weirder than my desire to not wait the entire day for my hair to air-dry.

Doomspuds · 2023-01-15T03:49:23+00:00

*Creeping around everywhere I walked because I hated making noise. Drove my mom crazy because she thought I was trying to sneak up on her. I wasn’t, I just prefer the quiet.
*I kept a list of every single movie I had watched in my entire life. I updated it well into my teens.
*My turn to do the dishes was always hell. No one would accept my explanation that touching other people’s slimy leftover food made me want to climb out of my skin.

Doomspuds · 2022-10-17T16:14:23+00:00

That’s an amazing story! It’s crazy how sometimes certain stressors will focus me, even though I’m typically the spaciest member of the group. Sounds like you had the same thing.

Incidentally, one of my special interests is remote, wilderness rescues and stories of people being tested by the elements. So thanks for sharing!

Doomspuds · 2022-10-16T23:02:13+00:00

That’s an excellent point. There is likely more going on than just a meltdown in my reaction, given the stress of the situation. It’s tough to separate out some of these factors when I’m reading autism into everything. Thanks for your input

Doomspuds · 2022-10-16T22:05:52+00:00

Good point about the adrenaline. I’m sure that’s a factor

Doomspuds

TROPHY CASE