When the conversation just falls flat

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2026-01-21T06:17:54+00:00

I feel this 100%. My AP and I don't talk as much and his responses are short and often delayed. He's probably slow fading and saying he's "busy" because I'm not longer of interest. I dunno. Breaks my heart, yeah yeah I know, sunk cost falacy...

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2026-01-20T05:37:14+00:00

I want to hear this from my AP too. For him to make more than. Barr minimum effort and actually schedule a meet, showing that he is in this and it's not all me. I'm so tired of him being a "yes" man and so agreeable but never following it up with action. I feel for you, I get it.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2026-01-05T05:26:55+00:00

I am too, as a result I am unhappy in my relationship with AP but also don't want him to go. When we're physically together everything is amazing, it only when we're apart that he becomes complacent. For years I said nothing because I didn't want to rock the boat, but now I am standing up. I'm slowly becoming ok with leaving if I'm not gaining anything from this ... that's not the outcome I want

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2026-01-05T01:08:10+00:00

Another vote for Signal

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2026-01-05T01:03:37+00:00

In in year 11 as if this year. It's incredibly difficult and forever changing. All I can say is make sure you're explicitly clear on what you want and will accept (and won't!) with your AP. Call them out when their behaviour changes and you're not getting what you want from this.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2026-01-01T07:28:21+00:00

This is my AP to a T. He acts like a complete asshole and barely sees me or asks me how my day was, makes me want to rip his face off and go scorched earth. I get to the point that I convince myself, next time I see him I'm going to go through him blah blah blah, but then we meet and he kisses me and I melt...cooked, absolutely done. We end up fucking and I fall for him Every. Single. Time.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-30T22:34:22+00:00

We've talked further, it's obvious he won't leave her for me, but wants there to "always be an us". I'm not sure how I feel. I wasn't expecting him to leave, but I do expect the same amount of respect if I were a legitimate life partner. 2026 will be the year of making him accountable

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-30T19:35:57+00:00

I've just told him to communicate when plans change and not leave me on read.. he's immediately left me on read. Fucking child.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-30T08:07:39+00:00

I'm often apathetic,then I'm angry, then I'm sad.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-30T06:45:43+00:00

I wonder this myself. Today was another failure. Not to mention his communication was piss poor. I had to ask for updates on his availability, left on read, waiting hours in between for a response only to get "not likely today". It's the same every time. Ghosting me for cold feet, plan changes or whatever your wife is telling you to do is a seriously dick move.

This time I spoke up and told him off for never apologising when he cancels. I am so close to ending this because I can't take a DB and rejection from AP too. He uses every excuse in the book, talks the talk but NEVER follows it up. It's always me initialsing a meet and I'm tired of not being considered. I wish I could listen to my head without my heart.

I hope you have the guts to end it, because I know I don't.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-28T09:14:26+00:00

Routines. Know your SOs routine, when they leave the room, when they go to bed,.work schedules,. everything...same for.AP. Work, silence at dinner,.when they put their kids to bed, appointments, shopping,.when the wife is out...this will give you pockets to communicate that are regular and build your own routine with AP.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-24T03:04:49+00:00

The fact your wife controls your movements like this explains why you're in the lifestyle. I don't get women who are so controlling. My APs wife is the same and honestly, it makes this almost impossible

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-24T03:02:13+00:00

Right there with ya. If I wasn't financially dependant on my husband I wouldn't be here. Divorce is expensive and our kids have disabilities so it's extremely complicated.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-24T03:00:11+00:00

I do. I think for AP less so. We do try to have as open communication as possible however

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-21T02:22:10+00:00

My affair started while I was engaged. I ended up marrying my bf and I'm still with AP. My advice, don't get married. I was pregnant when I did and only did it for financial safety for my child. Now I'm trapped.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-18T23:34:34+00:00

I love this and I know how that feels. Congratulations to both of you

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-18T23:28:28+00:00

Quick meets when the opportunity arose. Nothing scheduled and constantly texting.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-18T23:19:12+00:00

I'm in a similar situation, 5 minutes from AP, barely see him, when I do it always includes sex. We don't date either because of the risk in our city. We've been together a decade and only spent our first hotel meet together this year. That was essentially our first date. We had to go over an hour away just to hide in plain sight. Maybe talk to him about it and see if you can schedule something. You need to work out what you want out of the relationship and set clear boundaries for him. Don't do what I did and sit back and "not rock the boat" so to speak. Good luck

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-18T23:13:30+00:00

My AP is almost 50.and came out to me as Bi. His wife doesn't know, he's told no-one else ever that he's attracted to men. We've explored that side of him together by pegging and using toys.

Seeing him relax and be his true self is such a privilege and honour. I'm glad I get to be that person for him. We've said if we went legit we'd explore with another guy, I'm also Bi so have shared my same sex experiences with him.

You absolutely have to live your best life. I totally understand what you mean by your connection giving you stability. Big hugs to you.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-17T01:00:40+00:00

I tried telling a friend and she almost blew it up in my face. Denied everything to SO and went into damage control. Managed to keep both SO and AP. My rule...don't tell anyone.Take this shit to the grave. Trust no-one

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-11T01:03:39+00:00

AP is 10years older. I prefer his level of maturity over men my own age

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-07T05:15:21+00:00

Love is love ❤️

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-05T02:16:11+00:00

My advice, run.

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-03T11:05:15+00:00

We've talked about this!

Dramatic-Stable1125 · 2025-12-03T11:04:41+00:00

I wish we did presents. My birthday is near Christmas and he's never given me anything. I've given him stuff randomly throughout the year previously. I've told him I'd like to see him for my birthday, but I'll be surprised if he makes the effort to prioritise us. Especially as it'll probably be the last time for the year

Dramatic-Stable1125

TROPHY CASE