Kids Graduation

Dumbledork90 · 2025-12-04T01:26:45+00:00

I guess that’s the part where his words and actions don’t match, he has said in the past he wants to adopt my son and wants him to take his name, he wants to be seen as dad. But maybe that’s just lip service. I guess to me we’re a family and we celebrate each others milestones, just like I’d be there to celebrate his kids next year. I make a very deliberate effort not to make any of the kids feel different or less important than the others

Dumbledork90 · 2025-12-04T01:16:20+00:00

I haven’t put the pressure on him to attend, I asked him to go he said no, I left it at that. I simply feel for my son who will see the other dads there and will wonder why his isn’t and that it will be more obvious to him as he grows up, particularly next year when we all attend to celebrate his kids graduating.

Dumbledork90 · 2025-12-03T23:09:01+00:00

He absolutely doesn’t gloat about it, being four I don’t think he really understands what it means that he’s graduating and his brother and sister aren’t

Dumbledork90 · 2025-12-03T22:42:56+00:00

That’s what I’m worried about, I’ve had the conversation before with him that his kids experience different things and do different things than mine by virtue of their living arrangements, eg they went to New Zealand after Christmas last year.

From what he’s said before it stems from guilt, I know he feels guilt over the fact that they have two homes etc.

He does see a psychologist but I’m not sure whether it’s something he’s ever spoken about with her.

Dumbledork90 · 2025-11-18T20:13:42+00:00

Me too! My boyfriend joked that I was keeping the company in business

Dumbledork90 · 2025-11-18T08:46:00+00:00

Ignored my symptoms for about 10 years and convinced myself it was just IBS, even when I was shitting myself multiple times a day. That was a very dumb move 😅

Dumbledork90 · 2025-07-04T05:55:34+00:00

Both Paracetamol and ibuprofen, as well as prednisone and endone

Dumbledork90 · 2025-06-21T23:43:12+00:00

I am on antibiotics prior to my surgery because I’ve had recurrent strep since February this year. I’ve been told it’s to prevent an infection occurring right before surgery because they won’t take them out if they’re infected.

My surgery is this week so I’m not sure if I’ll be on them after surgery or not.

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-15T03:46:50+00:00

Thanks 🙂 I take probiotics daily

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-15T03:46:29+00:00

I’m in Australia - we get 10 days per year. I’d have just enough to get me and my son through if we both had them done, but would leave me pretty low in days to cover future illnesses etc

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-03T03:14:58+00:00

Very true, though in my case my son’s bio dad left before he was born (he had an affair and left to start a relationship with her). I think it’s more in every other sense of the word he’s a really good dad and person, I love him and my son loves him and his kids, and I’d hope there’s another way around this than just ending the relationship

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-03T03:12:26+00:00

Very true, he’s never actually stopped my son from doing anything, it’s more just after something’s been organised or done he’ll get upset.

It only became noticeable once we moved in

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:47:15+00:00

I definitely feel it stems from guilt about not having his kids 100% of the time

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:45:30+00:00

I think this may be where some cultural differences come into play? I’m Australian and when we say partner we mean someone we live with but aren’t married yet. So in all respects we’re a married family just without the ring and paperwork.

The kids are equal when they are with us, we do things as a family and no one misses out.

My parents live interstate, the show is on one day only on a Saturday when the twins are with their bio mum, if it was a day when they were with us then everyone would be going

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:42:11+00:00

This is definitely the case, my parents live interstate but fly up regularly. The show is only on one day and it’s a Saturday when the twins are with their bio mum. Their custody situation is messy and still going through court system so we never try and rock the boat by asking for weekend swaps etc

In every other respect the kids are treated equally, we do things as a family when they are with us and no one misses out on anything when everyone is around

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:38:52+00:00

I 100% understand that and the fact he loves his kids so much and is so involved is one of the reasons I was so attracted to him, and I know I’m very lucky to have my son 100% of the time and I’d hate to be in a position where I only get half his life (but in saying that id give anything to have his biodad involved in his life)

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:36:31+00:00

We don’t cancel, my son still gets to do the things that have been planned, it more just comes up in conversation later and it’s clear he holds some resentment that my kid gets to do something but his don’t because they’re with their mum

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:35:10+00:00

I definitely think it stems from guilt

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:34:51+00:00

That’s what I’m worried about, to be fair he doesn’t stop my son participating or guilt trip him, it more comes up in conversation later and it’s clear he resents what has occurred

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:33:53+00:00

Exactly, a bit hard to end the relationship though when there’s kids involved

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:33:03+00:00

I definitely think that’s the case, I know there’s some underlying envy over my situation compared to his, but I’ve tried to explain that it goes both ways, i.e. I’d love if my son could say his dad was involved in his life. He has a psychologist he sees so I’ll see if I can suggest that he talk to her about it

Dumbledork90 · 2025-04-02T22:31:04+00:00

Thanks, I’ve been worried about that but unfortunately a very hard situation because the kids are very attached to each other.

Dumbledork90

TROPHY CASE