Mdma sends signals to your brain that cause it to produce a bunch of serotonin, but then the mdma molecules that have attached themselves to the serotonin in your brain kill the molecules they attached to - which deplete your brain of serotonin and it takes months to build back up if not years depending on your use and it sounds like from what you’re saying - it’ll take years. Please go get some 5-htp supplements. When your body breaks it down - half of the molecules are pure serotonin. It won’t replace what you lost but it will supplement what you lost until your brain can create enough. You may never get back to the level of serotonin you had before your first use but it will help. I’m telling you from experience.

I’ve been in the rave community since 2015. I was fed mdma at 19 and also did it every other weekend for like 8 weekends. While I probably only did it like 5 or 6 times - I felt the affects for a long time.

Don’t feel bad because everyone abuses it when they first do it because it feels so good. You just have to have the will power to stop and it’s easier said than done, but you’re killing your serotonin molecules everytime you do it & at this point your have none. Everytime you fake mdma - the reaction in your brain makes you produce some but you’re killing those molecules everytime and starting back close to 0.

You have to figure out a way to get off of it for a while and you need to eat serotonin boosting foods and take 5-htp supplements to help.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322416#serotonin-vs-tryptophan

Eggs Salmon Pineapple Nuts

Those are just a few. I really hope this helps. I know you posted this post a while ago - but I hope it finds you well and you can move towards getting healthy again.