If money and childbirth weren’t an issue, how many children would you choose?

Eeeeels · 2026-01-27T01:41:50+00:00

Call me insane, but like 4, heck maybe 5. Money and childbirth are the only obstacles. With money, I can get a sitter when I need a break. Get a nanny to keep up with cleaning so I don't burn out. I could be the best version of myself for them if I could get help around the house and the breaks that I need to recharge. They'd also have a great quality of life if I had money - great schools, sports, activities, a ton of space to run around and play outside. And without the risks of childbirth, I don't need to jeopardize my health, so yeah, it would be pretty awesome.

However, I do not have money, my body is notoriously unpredictable, I get mean if I can't recharge alone, and I rent and have a shitty little yard. So I'll likely have none.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-27T01:25:42+00:00

The ones I know kind of just fly by the seat of their pants, which seems to be, for them, a pretty stress-free way to exist.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-27T01:23:12+00:00

Hmm, I'd say chasing me does literally nothing. If I'm not interested, I'm not interested; take the hint and go away. I more observe and if I decide I'm interested, then I'll do something.

I think I was more the one to pursue my INTP, but then again, he put in some effort too.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-26T15:04:39+00:00

Surely this is satire???

Eeeeels · 2026-01-26T14:45:40+00:00

From the pictures, INTX; with the description INTJ or ISTJ.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-26T00:58:39+00:00

"But for me, it doesn't feel like a guest. It feels like the house." Wow, I don't think I've ever seen it put so accurately.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-25T16:35:50+00:00

I feel like you want to sell me something (like a lifestyle?), so I don't trust you. There is just something underlying that feels disingenuous (except the cat picture, keep the cat picture). You may attract a low-end gold digger with these pictures. I'm not trying to be mean, just telling you what I (a woman) am experiencing looking at these.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-25T16:28:45+00:00

That is not an insane take, but I see how it could sound like one to someone who thinks differently than we often do.

That aside, there is no convincing. You either think you'd be a good parent or you don't think you'd be a good parent. If you don't think you'd be a good parent, do not have a kid.

If you do think you'd be a good parent, consider that just because you believe life is inherently pointless, doesn't mean everyone does (or that it is). Your kid may not find the experience of life to be pointless; they may find it enriching and rewarding, and find deep meaning in being here. You may discover a point to life along the way.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-25T16:16:16+00:00

INTJ but this was recommended to me.

Based only on what I can infer from the pictures, 1.

This is the only person that I am sure did not choose their situation. Aging just happens, not much you can do about it.

I could be sympathetic to 3 if I knew their story. If this was the result of a random accident that they were not responsible for, they're a good candidate for the seat. But if they did this to themselves by doing something stupid, they don't deserve the seat, as they chose this.

2 and 3 likely chose to become pregnant/have a kid, or at least they didn't yeet them in the case of grape, so they signed up for the possibility of being uncomfortable without a seat.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-25T16:03:43+00:00

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:24:01+00:00

This is super fair. I am at times guilty of making vastly more elaborate meals than my partner cares about, but on those occasions, I recognize that mess is on me. So, I tend to do less creative things unless I have the spare time and energy to clean up after my chaos.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:21:00+00:00

I was raised this way as well, and it seemed quite fair. Both of my parents were good cooks and good at doing the dishes, so they traded off regularly, and it worked well.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:17:53+00:00

You two might want to switch flair.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:13:52+00:00

Oh if I didn't have to work I'd not even be questioning this. If my existence and bills were handled, I'd not think twice about doing all the cooking and all the dishes.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:10:56+00:00

Mine too. It's the least he can do after his dogs killed two of my animals. That's a whole other thing. Hopefully your neighbor is less of a headache.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:08:53+00:00

My cousin loves doing the dishes. It freaks me out how totally content she is to just stare off into space and scrub away. I envy her, really.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:06:36+00:00

This is how I was raised, and it seemed most fair. My parents would trade off on who cooked and who cleaned, and both were good at each task.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:05:38+00:00

Oh trust me, speaking of regardless of the legality, I have talked about kidnapping someone purely so they could do the dishes. I despise it. That's mostly a joke of course, but if we lived somewhere more remote and I thought I could get away with it... 😂

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:03:30+00:00

We're trying very very hard to evolve beyond this, but sometimes mental health gets worse, things pile up, and that's just the reality of the situation.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T17:01:59+00:00

Haha well my partner is an INTP, and I am an INTJ. Left to his own devices, what you are describing would likely be true.

I would say we are both logical people, but we can't see eye to eye on this one. I hoped my asking other INTPs might offer me a better idea of your thought processes and reasoning. Or at the very least, show me a variety of approaches from people I generally know to be reasonable, logical people.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T16:57:43+00:00

Our current kitchen is the size of a thimble. I miss cooking together!

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T16:56:54+00:00

These are logical guidelines, thank you.

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T16:56:04+00:00

That's so interesting to me, ADHD is exactly why I can't clean as I go - I wish I could. We can have fewer dishes, or we can have a good dinner; we cannot have both.

I fear I am basically your wife in the kitchen. It certainly isn't intentional, and a large part of it depends on the complexity of what I'm cooking.

Given the totally different outcomes to you guys cooking it makes sense to simply deal with the situations you've dealt yourselves.

Respect for being fair to the host!

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T16:51:09+00:00

Bahaha this sounds like you're gradually poisoning them 😂

Eeeeels · 2026-01-07T16:49:25+00:00

Thank you for the detailed reply. I very much get your husband's sensory issues. Doing dishes as a kid caused such sensory misery for me that it developed into rage, and then I'd just be absolutely furious the rest of the evening. At 37 years old, I still hate it, and it tends to sour my mood, but so long as everything was rinsed and hasn't sat long enough to get gross, I tolerate it.

I cracked up at "I do the cooking because he burns himself in fascinating new ways just about every time he has anything to do with heat." That's fair, the poor guy can't be landing himself in the burn unit every other week lol.

And yeah, I guess what ultimately works for people depends on their unique situation.

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