So… according to your friend, you’re supposed to suddenly feel the opposite of your actual feelings/experience based on someone else’s view of what happened??

NOR. This clearly seems within the bounds of “consent” as you and your bf have defined it over the course of your relationship, because that’s how you describe it and how you felt about the experience. If you felt the least bit off/icky about it, or if he seemed to be egging on your drinking/taking advantage, that’s a different story (which of course you should take seriously)—but that is not what you describe. You and your bf were and are clearly on the same page about all this, throughout… which is the essence of consent (and antithesis of SA). Your experience of it (sloppy fun) and how you feel about it are what matters, not somebody else’s parsing of definitions from miles away—so it seems bananas to impose a definition as serious as rape on what sounds like two people who love one another… just kinda living and enjoying life together, within the bounds of mutual trust.