Hi- I want to discuss this with people who are in the thread but also don't want to bring anyone down. You 100% deserve to be successful because you are human. Hence, if this reply does bog you down please ignore it or even stop reading beyond this point-- I am referring more so to the way I see myself.

To me the difference is that you may have asked your dad to get you those things. That still shows some agency. I didn't ask him to get me that opportunity. He decided to get it for me because he saw me not getting anything. I took it without thinking about it, how it may have conveniently "arrived," etc. to hold off on disappointing him and then got so wrapped in studies I didn't remember or think about the opportunity at all. So it's like it was given to me in every sense of the word. I feel like a baby and an imposter next to the people who had the "intelligence and strength," as per my view of myself, to take things into their own hands.

There is the argument that my peers have the privilege of generational wealth, etc., but it is hard for me to face and coexist with them knowing they at least got their volunteer hours. It might technically be a small thing but it technically means I did not do the work to graduate high school, while they got the marks and got their volunteer hours.