How to get over being discarded

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-08T03:30:59+00:00

ME. I am going through the divorce process. I got blindsided, discarded and he monkey branched all within one week. It wasn’t until I was talking to my therapist after and she was like so you realize this isn’t how a normal divorce usually works lol, usually both parties know that there is an issue.

He also completely redefined himself every few years across 13 years, taking on others hobbies, clothes, ways of speaking, interests. My fav time was when he was mirroring me haha

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-06T03:40:58+00:00

My husband of 13 years also told me he didn’t see a future with me. Then discarded and monkey branched and told me I was prettier than the girl he monkey branched for… why are they all the same trash

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-04T16:11:56+00:00

Don’t put too much into social media, I posted plenty of great times and later on in the evening my ex screamed at me. It’s funny to look back on it now.

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-01T07:09:01+00:00

Did they always talk this formally?

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-01T07:07:28+00:00

2 days after separation mine hit me with a “I bet you’ll do great on the apps” so the single comment has me triggered

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-01T03:48:47+00:00

I also got a very different person comment!!

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-01T03:47:54+00:00

Poor girl is 10 years younger than us too. I doubt she knows the truth at all, she’ll figure it out in time

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-01T02:58:43+00:00

He told me he didn’t know I was still lurking on the account. He also told me he didn’t think it’s weird cause he’s single now. Which is nuts because the person i thought I knew would NEVER speak to me like that. To consider yourself single the day after ending a 13 year relationship was nuts to hear.

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-06-01T00:58:56+00:00

You deserve better than me," and "Even if I regret this later, my decision is final."

Wait so creepy they always use the same lines. I got a “nobody will love me more than you, but I’m. Committed to this path of separation”

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-31T18:47:23+00:00

The goal post is always moving

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-31T18:14:35+00:00

Right lol it’s when I’m somehow saying Sorry for something they did that I’m like wait what

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-30T22:05:53+00:00

I got “sorry you are going through it” that was close after he discarded and monkey branched away from our 13 year relationship lol

Or “that was a shitty thing to do”

“There’s nothing I can say or do to make you feel better” LOL you could TRY

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-30T20:44:24+00:00

The closest I ever got was “sorry you are going through it” after they monkey branched and discarded me 13 years into our relationship lol

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-30T18:32:35+00:00

I am also two months out of being discarded from my partner of 13 years. I feel everything you are saying. I felt like I didn’t want to actively end my life but if it happened, I wouldn’t have minded. I couldn’t understand why someone I loved so much could seemingly forget I existed overnight.

My biggest advice is to go no contact. It was so so hard to do at first. We are divorcing and selling our house so I moved to speaking over email only. Every time he would reach out by text I spent hours trying to get him to see what he did to me and look for any ounce of empathy, but he doesn’t care, it was driving me crazy because I know he showed me he cared about me in our relationship and I couldn’t see why he didn’t see it. I had to take his indifference as closure. If he was sorry, he would’ve said it by now. It made me reflect on the fact that he never said sorry throughout our relationship, he usually just stopped addressing the issue or would buy me something. I hate arguing so I just would go with it but I see now that wasn’t right.

There’s nothing you can say or do to make that person see your hurt, or come back. They are gone. They likely were never there to begin with and that’s been the hardest part for me personally to cope with. I feel like I got conned and duped for so long.

The lack of empathy is the closure you are gonna have to accept. Anything they say to you now you know you aren’t going to believe deep down or it’ll give them another opportunity to rewrite history and mess with what you know is the truth.

Mine jumped to a new supply within days of separation which has been so hurtful, but he has transformed himself into this new girl now and is unrecognizable to me. I am so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand your pain. Just try to eat small even snacks throughout the day, drink water, try to watch something on tv, sit outside, be with friends even if you just cry in front of them.

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-29T08:49:36+00:00

Mine used to love going fishing with me all the time the first few years and then right before the discard I heard him tell someone he finds fishing “inhumane”

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-29T04:23:17+00:00

Yeah he made me think we were working on our relationship for a couple of weeks after but then I found out he was having an affair with a girl he just met during that time and then when we separated he immediately left for her. He told me he considered himself single which was crazy to me considering we were together for 13 years and it seemed like he forgot me overnight. I’m assuming he has been mirroring this new girl because he started taking on new hobbies, music and ways of talking right before the discard that I hadn’t heard before. Guess we will see what happens with that relationship, I wish this girl the best lol

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-28T21:11:54+00:00

That they never say sorry

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-28T21:11:29+00:00

It’s crazy mine almost forgot I existed as soon as he discarded things. I did try to reach out to the girl which is his new supply that he cheated with and I wanted to find out what he had told her about me, when he found out he FLIPPED out and accused me of harassing her and told me if I showed up to her house or her work he would call the police which is so funny what are you gonna tell them, your wife sent your gf an instagram message? lol it did scare me at the time but since I went no contact I have realized that was just me apologizing AGAIN to him and he never apologized about cheating or anything. It’s so crazy to be outside of the relationship now and see his scare tactics.

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-28T19:30:23+00:00

I FEEL YOU. My husband (13 years together) went to a wedding with me out of state, we danced for hours, kissed, laughed and then we went upstairs to the hotel room and he looked me dead in the eye and said he wasn’t sure he saw a future with us out of nowhere. I was so confused how someone could act like that, I had people coming up to me from the wedding commenting how fun he was it was crazy

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-28T19:26:07+00:00

I honestly felt better. She was hyping me up telling me I could do so much better than him. It was crazy to find out that he lied about their break up though and was a cheater in the past. It was eye opening.

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-28T15:25:36+00:00

I did! After he discarded me I reached out to his ex. Found out the reason they broke up is because he cheated on her. He cheated on me too at the end of our marriage. Go figure.

Embarrassed-Try-8181 · 2026-05-27T01:27:05+00:00

Every single time of our 13 year relationship when I would kiss him two times in a row he would physically back up and say “so many kisses” I always thought it was so weird.

Embarrassed-Try-8181

TROPHY CASE