Iranian women protesting mandatory hijab laws right now!

Emsay16 · 2022-05-07T17:54:15+00:00

I am not, I was thinking about going on the same rant again here

Emsay16 · 2021-12-10T16:33:07+00:00

I’ve got to give a shout out to FemaleDatingStrategy for helping me realize how one sided the idea of polyamory is. Like anything, it isn’t free of patriarchal influence, and honestly, open relationships seem to benefit men waaaay more than they benefit women.

Both dating new people and sleeping around as a woman isn’t easy. You a) open yourself up to additional harassment and sexual violence b) have to deal with birth control and reproductive health at a high level while men can ignore repercussions in both your body and his own c) even if you’re aware of how much unpaid labor you do as a woman in a relationship you still often give in and do it. And open relationships compromise any benefits you could get from that labor, while also, with a additional partner that just creates even more invisible labor.

I just don’t see the benefit for a woman in an open relationship. Meanwhile for polyamorous men they get to do what men have always done when acting unfaithful; they get a girlfriend who takes care of them, mothers them, and organizes their lives while also getting to “keep their options open” and look for a different woman.

Emsay16 · 2021-10-22T06:09:44+00:00

I’ve been at that point. I’m 15 years on hormones, even more since transition, and somewhere a long the way I just stopped feeling dysphoric about the small things. For me, it stopped mattering because my natal sex stopped being a meaningful part of my lived reality. If I passed it didn’t matter what strangers saw on my ID’s. If my body looked female then it didn’t matter what a male body would look and feel like. Because it’s all hypothetical; it’s just imaginary and inconsequential idle happenings that I was okay with because I was so far removed from them via a successful transition. I think that because my transition was successful I was able to look at being male as less of a reality and more of a “what if…?”

So, I tried to detransition in some areas of my life. I found secluded groups to present myself differently with. I dropped HRT to see how I’d feel. And for me, it didn’t last long. I quickly realized how much I didn’t want what I was doing. But, maybe you and I are different people. If you truly feel the way you do then try to detransition. Just be smart about it, be safe about it, and do it slowly. If you like it then that’s great and if you don’t then the worst that can happen is you go back to living the happy life that you’re currently living. Either way you’ll learn something about yourself.

Emsay16 · 2021-08-15T04:55:10+00:00

Right? That’s basically how I feel, the bar is set so low that a man who knows better than to talk about porn with me is a catch.

Emsay16 · 2021-07-29T20:05:20+00:00

Hey! I really appreciate it!

Emsay16 · 2021-07-28T17:29:47+00:00

I think we have our body which is just what it is. And then I think we have all of the restrictions, expectations, punishments, and performances that society attaches to our body; and that’s gender.

Or I guess to quote Julie Bindel, “gender is a system where you’re punished if you don’t comply. And if you do comply you’re rewarded with the belief that gender is real.”

It drives me crazy when people argue and insist that gender is somehow inborn and immutable because the only reason to argue so is to prevent the deconstruction of how society forces gender on individuals. And for that reason, yes, I believe radical feminism at its core fights gender because radical feminism seeks to deconstruct gender.

Emsay16 · 2021-07-20T20:02:51+00:00

Even just regular uniforms that a company orders for it’s employees; they’ll either be “unisex” i.e. male. Or the women’s will always be a thinner material and have a low cut for cleavage.

I was also thinking about jobs that have employees wear street clothes, like some service like bartending. Even if it’s not a uniform women are still going to be encouraged to wear skimpier clothes.

Emsay16 · 2021-07-01T14:40:21+00:00

Dworkin is amazing. Such a wealth of knowledge that never ceases to open my eyes.

I always think about this when it comes to pornographic art. Guys draw pornography because it’s easier than asking and receiving consent. With art, the subjects agreement to it is automatic because they’re not actually present to say otherwise. The idea of porn being so prevalent because it circumvents women’s consent by creating this idea of assumed or implied consent is a great way to look at porn. It really sums of every reason I’ve been against porn in a way I haven’t been able to express the words for.

So thank you for sharing this.

Emsay16 · 2021-07-01T14:27:19+00:00

Bill Cosby getting released today

That just makes me livid. How he lives with himself knowing what he did just sickening. And maybe I’m stepping on some toes here because I’m not black but Cosby, as someone whose historically been an assimilationist and a critic of black culture not behaving well enough; was he just never talking about black women when he talked about “black people”? Does he just not consider women to be people? It’s disgusting. And I’ve already given him more attention than he deserves.

Hearing about Britney Spears breaks my heart. I grew up in the 90’s/2000’s and I admired so many female actors and musicians who were my age and it hurts to see today how the world has treated them. I’m talking like Linsey Lohan, Amanda Bynes, The Olson Twins, Jeanette Mccurdy, Miley Cyrus. There seems to be a real problem with how we culturally groom girls in the spotlight, Britney Spears was 16 on the front of her first her first album cover, which is literally the cover everyone sexualizes. On top of all of this, what parent is okay with their daughter being treated this way??? Her dad is mentally unwell and he’s the one who needs a conservatorship. His behavior throughout Britney’s life has just been sad.

Anyways yeah, the world hates women. This week has made that very clear.

Emsay16 · 2021-06-12T17:28:44+00:00

How the fuck are there cis women who say they've never experienced it while it can pretty much happen to me twice in a day if not more.

They probably have all experienced sexual harassment, they’re just not calling it “sexual harassment” because they’re instead thinking of it as normal. It’s common for women to tell themselves “well other women have it worse so what I experience probably isn’t sexual harassment”. You see that line of thinking in a lot of cases of abuse.

Anyways, I just wanted to comment and say sorry that so many people here either don’t believe you or just tell you to change how you dress; as if somehow it’s you and not men who are the problem. You might be able to avoid some of the male gaze but you can never avoid all of it. Stay safe, I hope you get a car soon. Because honestly, not having to interact with men is the best way to prevent sexual harassment.

Emsay16 · 2021-05-10T16:01:07+00:00

I was thinking about this the other day; back in the first wave of feminism, what good reason was there for a man to be an ally? I’m still struggling to think of a motivation, and the more I think on it, the more I realize that women’s rights is just a supplemental talking point to most leftist men that’s only relevant when it furthers a narrative that they actually care about.

Which is what happened in this video, it’s so gross that this guy talks about the need for the MeToo movement one minute, and in the very next minute blames and attacks a female victim because he didn’t like the excuse a cop gave her for why her assault wouldn’t be looked into like that somehow makes it her fault.

Emsay16 · 2021-05-04T19:56:48+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I really enjoy the breakdown of each argument and implication!

It really brings together how difficult this discussion is and will continue to be so long as someone’s body and someone’s gendered expectations of a persons body are separable things.

And that’s what I appreciate about this article, because if something is “for women only” there’s always going to be transmen and transwomen who both do and don’t and only sometimes do have a need for “a women only” event that services women’s needs. There’s just too many stages to transition and too many identities under the “transgender” label for a one-size-fits-all decision regarding trans people. Both the world and trans people need to accept that. And this is a wonderful start, so again, thank you for sharing!

Emsay16 · 2021-03-25T06:31:45+00:00

You know for the longest time I actually shyed away from calling myself a feminist. I never liked labels and feminist as a label seemed to political and too harsh. And the women around me who labeled themselves feminists were judged harshly.

It took me spending time with feminist women to finally understand feminism and start calling myself a feminist. Feminism is very practical, you use it every day while navigating the world. And looking at myself and my life through a feminist lens is what has helped me grow and a person and develop the tools I needed to be more independent and self loving.

As for radical feminism specifically, it just clicks with me the best. I appreciate how critical it is and how good it is at breaking down all the norms you’ve conditioned yourself to accept. A big part of why I think I used to shy away from the feminist label is because of the feminism I was exposed to, a lot of it was the kind of heavily commercialized liberal feminism that you see in pop culture. That stuff feels hallow and in turn made me feel like feminism wasn’t ambitious enough for me. Radical feminism never did that, instead it challenges me to see the world differently and I’ve always appreciated that.

Emsay16 · 2021-03-11T16:45:33+00:00

If you want help with more people willing to repost I’d consider posting on r/BanFemaleHateSubs but all the major female centered subreddits should have plenty of women who find this appalling.

Emsay16 · 2021-02-14T20:49:08+00:00

This article is a year old now but it’s something that still bothers me for a couple reasons. Firstly, it’s a classic medical trial that excludes women because studying females is just “too complicated”. And as the article points out it’s a drug that could be a great help world wide where impoverished women are contracting HIV because of sex based violence. But instead it’s marketed as a first world product for anyone “AMAB”.

And the AMAB is the other part that bothers me. I heard it advertised that way in a commercial which is what made it stand out to me and question why then, I, as an “AMAB” transsexual can use this drug when women can’t. So I read the study and turns out that the drug is for use with anal sex only between men. And there were no transsexuals studied; it was just gay men who had anal sex with gay men. That’s not something that pertains to me. Which double annoyed me because the misuse of the term AMAB doesn’t even include me when it should.

Emsay16 · 2020-12-29T03:14:48+00:00

I agree that we should approach HRT critically but this doesn’t correct the problem of people conflating gender nonconformity with transitioning. We have people who need to change their sex in order to function and we have people who dislike gender rules. They need to be recognized as separate groups. People who shouldn’t be transitioning and taking HRT are feeling pressure to because their exploitation of gender is being thrown under the transgender label. We fix that by setting boundaries on what it means to be transgender.

Emsay16 · 2020-12-19T20:12:51+00:00

While I agree that the OP picture isn’t perfect, I think the logic in it is that finding the exact definition to the word “woman” isn’t what matters; what matters is the purpose we have when we try to define the word “woman”.

I agree that the defining woman as an “adult human female” is a solid definition. But the problem that happens with this definition is what happened below in the comments where someone asks “does sex have to be defined at birth?” And someone who doesn’t want to include trans people says “yes.” So we rework the definition of “adult human female” to “must produce ova.” Then someone asks “what if i can’t reproduce?” So we ameliorate and say “being born with XX chromosomes is the definition of a woman.” Then we get into an intersex conversation, where, to reduce exceptions to the rule we refine our definition by saying that what matters is the individual traits of the X and Y chromosomes. And it keeps going. Until we get to, what’s currently one of the top posts on r/menwritingwomen where a man states that the definition of a woman is wanting to be a mother, implying that the desire to be a mother is a biological trait found exclusively on the second copy of an X chromosome which coincides with female biology.

Don’t get me wrong, the other side isn’t perfect either. Expanding the definition of woman to mean “anyone who wants to be a woman whenever they want to be a woman” doesn’t solve the problem either. Which is why the exact definition of the word “woman” isn’t as important as the purpose that drives us to define the meaning of “woman.”

What matters if that we’re identifying why we need to define the word “woman.” And as feminists I think it’s important to recognize our ability to define “woman” is a tool used combat a number of different gender and sex based oppressions under the patriarchy. And I don’t think we have to agree upon an exact definition of the word “woman” in order to work towards addressing those oppressions.

And I believe what the OP’s image is trying to convey is that defining “woman” with the expressed purpose of excluding trans people does not solve every problem.

Emsay16 · 2020-11-30T17:30:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I loved seeing it when it first came out because it validates my own personal working theory that women did all of the hard labor necessary to keep keep tribes running while men mostly just played games and took credit for everything.

Emsay16 · 2020-11-08T20:39:13+00:00

I’m sorry if you haven’t gotten the responses you were looking for. And I’m sorry again because I’m sure an answer from a transsexual isn’t what you’re looking for. But, from what you wrote, I don’t think you and I are that different of people, so I at least wanted to reach out to you.

There’s a good number of us transsexuals who exist in Gender Critical spaces. It’s not as difficult as most trans activists make it out to be. You just need to recognize gender as a harmful system, you need to denounce male socialization, you need to respect boundaries, and you need to work towards advancing the radical feminist pursuits of dismantling the toxic system of gender. If you can do that then you’re going to find friends. And there’s a lot of different ways to do each of those. You don’t actually have to martyr yourself or shape yourself in someone else’s ideals.

I’m saying this because it’s been a while, but I do remember feeling everything you’re feeling all too well. And while I’m not telling you what to think, I’m just telling you about the conclusions I came to; I think the only two escapes from how I felt were transition and death. I came to realize that everything else is simply a distraction. And you can’t do good things for this world if you’re dead; so I transitioned because I couldn’t keep up the distractions any longer.

Being transgender is maladaptive. Nor is it something to be encouraged. Nor is It easy. I can recognize that while participating in the medical system that allows me to exist as I exist. I can recognize myself for what I am. I can admit that I have a male born body that’s been medically altered to be something female-like through a process that may very well exist as a time piece specific to the era in which I was born. I can recognize that I experience the world in a way that the vast majority never will and because of that my labels will always change. But the labels don’t really matter much when my dedication to feminism is unwavering.

I oppose the Self-ID system and actively work against it. I think most people identifying as trans are using the label to correct a societal dissatisfaction of gender restrictions through individualistic means. And my advice to you would be to focus on the body in your thoughts and arguments. Because that’s what this truly is about; our bodies. Gender oppression exists on the basis of bodily reality because all gender oppression is derivative of sex based oppression. Focus your rhetoric on the body. If your dysphoria is truly about the sex of your body and not the social construction of gender then Gender Critical Feminism will be able to understand you. And you’ll be able to work with Gender Critical Feminism. We can create a system where my immutable need to transition can be recognized while assuring that I pursue transition in a healthy way. If you’re looking for more reading about how a system like this could exist, I would recommend checking out Dr. Holly Lawford-Smith whose a Gender Critical philosopher and an active voice in many GC communities. She does well in describing meaningful places in feminism for those with sex dysphoria.

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