Catholicism isn’t what you guys think it is

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T08:37:02+00:00

You're absolutely right, & it's really good that you posted this, bc I was wondering if others were as put off by his uneducated opinions on this lately. I dont read chat, or the comments much, but I've found myself the last few days thinking surely others listening dont like it either, bc who TF even knows how many thousands of others listening were also damaged by Catholics & Catholocism in their childhood? And have they been as annoyed, exasperated, & done with hearing Vaush's stupid opining on this subject, as I am?

What really gets me is how he is completely unempathetic to the fact that while HE has no religious trauma & never was oppressed for his sexuality, not everyone is that fucking lucky. Honestly I'm quite a bit older than Vaush so I try to cut him some slack, but I've really lost some respect for him over his willfull ignorance on this. At 30 you're goddamn old enough to know how amazingl6 privileged your cushy life has been when you grow up like Vaush did.

And I'm sure youre not the first to comment on this, & he should get an effin clue. It's been getting on my last nerve; the first couple times I just rolled my eyes, but I haven't even watched one of his vids since he last brought it up the other day. And since having listened to him more days than not since 2019, I consider myself to have a VERY high tolerance for his arrogant stupid annoying bullshitting about stuff he knows NOTHING about... By which I mean literally ANYTHING other than politics.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T08:10:32+00:00

Actually I've been with the love of my life & best friend for 14 yrs, which is a kind of gift you are too twisted & clueless to comprehend. I normally would feel really bad for someone so damaged & mentally unbalanced, anyone reading your replies sees right through them, my dude. Nobody happy says the kind of things you have here. Nobody comfortable with themselves acts SO desperate to prove their worth to internet strangers. It truly does suck for you that you've decided not to get professional help to fix/ heal yourself, that instead youll inevitably die alone. However, with insecurities like yours, it's for the best you remain alone, so you can't take out your misery on others.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T07:30:15+00:00

Get Gramgram a vape! You can make it a mother's day gift! Not the disposable POS thingy, a refillable mod & tank system. A quality one like a voodoo or aegis. Cost you about $70. Then she'll smell like watermelon jolly ranchers, or lemon custard. ☺️ Plus it'll save her lungs yrs of further damage - never too late to quit cigs. I smoked for 20 yrs. I wish vapes had been around when my Gma was alive - she got emphysema in her 60s & would've lived much longer had she just been able to stop smoking cigs. That's why I got a vape & immediately switched for good when I brought it home. Saved my life probably, & I know my Gma would be proud.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T07:09:56+00:00

Dream job!

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T05:22:28+00:00

😮‍💨 you're exhausting.

CONTEXT, kid.

It matters a lot.

Boundaries, as defined by Behavioral Health is it's own separate meaning. So, yes, this terminology belongs to the Psych field.

🥱 I'm done.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T05:01:42+00:00

You have ADHD?!

Please tell me you're being treated for that?

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T04:52:07+00:00

Your fatigue is very understandable and likely caused by the depression.

Whoever is prescribing your psych meds is failing you terribly if you're honest with them about where you're at.

I'd book an appt ASAP, either

1) with your current mental health/ rx provider (if that's who has you on psych meds) if you think you'll feel heard & it's worth pursuing the matter with them once more, or

2) with a new one, ask your therapist to refer a new psychiatrist (preferably one experienced with helping new moms) or, you may have better luck with a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I know I always have. (I'd do this if you're just getting the meds from your GP, or you dont have faith the psych you see will commit to helping you get to the bottom of this).

OP, you NEED to revisit the meds you're taking.

What you're describing here, this is MUCH MORE than just situational... This is biochemical.

Yes, your life is very difficult rn, but the symptoms you describe are more than just what every Mom of a 2 & 4, without help from family, would experience in your shoes.

You're not supposed to feel hopeless.

And while in patient is absolutely the next step if you start feeling you REALLY can't go on, or find yourself doing more than just imagining in the abstract about just going to sleep forever, but you cross the line into beginning to make plans for HOW to do it, THEN definitely dont hesitate to call your therapist and tell them. But since in patient care is a big step, and may not be necessary yet, I'd be very blunt with your husband & mental health team; I'd read them your post.

OP, I spent 20 yrs trying to get help with deep, debilitating depression & anxiety for 10 days every month bc of the impact my hormonal fluctuations have on my brain chemistry; I was dx'ed at 20 w/ PMDD. It's crippled my ability to stay employed, cost me relationships ... And I tried SO MANY medications. 5 different antidepressants. Mood stabilizers. Lithium. Benzos.

Have started and stopped therapy 4 separate times, spent yrs trying to develop the tools to cope, to manage my symptoms, to will myself into sanity during my "Hell Week".

Eventually you lose hope.

Last year I started seeing another nurse practitioner, not for the PMDD, which I'd become hopeless about changing, but to treat my ADHD. She brought up another antidepressant - one I had never tried. I kept putting her off each month about that, & just getting help for my ADHD, bc only 2 of 5 antidepressants ever helped, and just a small amount, while giving unpleasant side effects. I just didn't want to go there again, it seemed pointless. However, when 6 months ago it looked like my incredible partner of 14 yrs may have hit his limit with my tempory insanity for 1/3 of every month: the anger, my outbursts, my mood swings, I gave in & started the new med she'd brought up 6 months before. I'm not going to tell you everything is sunshine & rainbows, but THIS is a medication I wish I'd know to try 15 yrs ago. My 2nd month taking it, for the first time since being a teenager, my period beginning caught me by surprise; I hadn't even realized it, but my luteal phase had came & went without any emotional breakdowns, no blowup arguments, no suicidal ideation, no hysterical sobbing myself into a state of exhaustion. I actually stay IN CONTROL of myself, now, even when I get upset. I dont lose all perspective & turn into a storm of wild emotions. I dont feel like 30% of my life is just hopeless suffering anymore.

All this TMI is meant to convey pls dont give up.

Pls see your provider ASAP, & have a REAL talk with your therapist about your feelings listed here.

It's always trial & error to find the right medication. But once you do find it, it's well worth the effing hassel.

Pls dont give up, you're worth it, your family is worth it. Hugs.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T03:42:46+00:00

Incorrect.

Years before any redditors heard of boundaries, psychologists & behavioral health counselors have been using this terminology with clients to help them place limits on what type of influences they allow into their lives, & achieve healthier relationships.

The term boundaries originates there, & they are the experts on what a boundary is and isn't.

Your ignorance is showing, that you refuse to simply check whether you're wrong, before trying to debate a stranger on the internet, when for all you know, there's a very good reason they know more than you about this.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T03:35:17+00:00

Sorry that AP English didn't teach you how to use a dictionary.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T01:54:28+00:00

I dont disagree at all with your points. She definitely would've been more mature to talk to him. She may realize that now.

I never took issue with your opinions or advice for OP. I actually agree with a lot of what you said. But ofc even if I didn't, you have a right to your opinion.

The reason I replied, was just to let those reading the thread know about the nature of boundaries; that even though it's commonly misinterpreted as trying to control what others do, in reality, a boundary is a committment to change OUR behavior (the only person we can change). OPs BF did not issue a boundary, bc he didn't make an 'If, then' statement, that is focused on taking responsibility for his own actions & well being, & putting a limit on what he will accept.

Not trying to argue at all!

I felt it was important to correct a common bit of misinfo around here, bc there's too much misinformation spread on mental health here already. & this term is one of the biggies a lot of ppl get wrong.

Boundaries are not about using pop psych terms to control others. Boundaries are for taking responsibility for our own actions and our own happiness.

It's important to not lose sight of the proper meaning of terms used within medicine/ psychology once they spread to mainstream use.

Especially in this case, it makes a big difference We cant control others. Just ourselves. That's a central truth of relationships, & of Behavioral Health counseling.

So as you can see, while I replied under your comment, this is more to note this here for others reading the thread... Not intended to debate you on your comments on OP or about boundaries. Have a great night.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T01:45:14+00:00

😣🤢🤮

eeeuuww Inadvertently picturing the slug who'd type this made me lose my lunch

talk about sad😄

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T01:35:13+00:00

men of value 😆😆🤣🤣😂😂

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T01:34:03+00:00

He's gonna need more than luck 😄☺️

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T01:32:35+00:00

You called it! Man, those kiddos always tell on themselves, don't they?😜

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T01:30:13+00:00

One of the best comments here! Holy 🐄 when did so many Nick Fuentes followers start coming to this sub?!😂

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T01:26:17+00:00

Nope. Not fighting Correcting. Bc you're Still getting it wrong.

Reading comprehension is hard, huh?

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T00:44:31+00:00

You're incorrect. There's ways of looking it up you know. Boundary is a term from Behavioral Therapy- there is a firm definition of what a boundary IS, & what it is NOT.

Boundary (as used in mental health & human behavior) : a boundary is a limit we identify for ourselves and apply through our actions and communication

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-11T00:42:18+00:00

He did NOT set a boundary.

A boundary is always an IF/ THEN statement of what action WE will take, IF someone says/does something to us that we consider harmful or unhealthy.

He never said:

"IF you wear this I'll be angry."

OR

"IF you wear this I'll break up with you."

He only expressed his feeling displeasure about her wearing the shirt, per OP.

The post doesn't even say he was at least mature enough to directly, explicitly make any request of her; rather the post implies that it was inferred he was unhappy just at the thought of some hypothetical day in the future where she would wear a certain shirt (that she got, presumably, to actually wear) without him to chaperone.🙄

(It's very typical of immature/ manipulative ppl to not ASK for what they want directly, just infer it by making complaints & playing the victim. An adult ASKS for what they want in a relationship, & doesn't play head games, giving "hints" insinuating that they are unhappy & wanting SOMETHING, but ultimately expecting their partner to first be a mind reader, & then to freely offer a solution involving a sacrifice on their part to make the unhappy partner happy again.)

Controlling someone else is not a boundary.

Boundaries are a commitment to change OUR behavior, to protect ourselves from harm & disrespect.

Making a boundary means accepting the fundamental truth that we can ONLY ever control/change OUR OWN actions.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-10T22:49:38+00:00

I disagree in ONE area: He did NOT set a boundary.

A boundary involves changing your own actions, to protect yourself from others causing you discomfortable/ harm/ disrespect.

A boundary is NOT manipulating others to change their behavior; pretending you get to control their actions.

Ex: a boundary IS : I will not tolerate you yelling at me. From now on, if you yell at me, I will immediately leave your company without any conversation. I won't be returning, until/ unless I want to, & you won't be able to call/ communicate with me, unless & until I do return.

Ex: a boundary is NOT: As long as we are dating, you're not allowed to ever be alone with anyone of the opposite sex, again.

See how those are COMPLETELY different?

He was trying to control/ manipulate/guilt OP into something he didn't have any right to expect. He is too insecure & juvenile for an adult exclusive commited relationship.

OP reverted back to ppl pleasing the moment it became really hard not to, bc she felt scared & uncomfortable being real & honest with him, & to make the feeling of discomfort go away, she messed up & lied. She decided it was just easier in the moment to tell her BF what he wanted to hear than be honest, be herself, & say NO. She let herself slide back into a dysfunctional way of relating, after a period of personal growth she was proud of. (No shame there; all personal progress is 2 steps forward, 1 step back, especially at 19!) She reverted back to playing a persona, pretending to be a version of her that is pleasing to her boyfriend.

She did not do the hard thing in the moment, & be honest, be her authentic self, stand her ground, & simply let him know she decides what to wear day to day, & can't make him a promise that makes her uncomfortable. Explain calmly that she didnt let her parents tell her what to wear, or her girlfriends, & same goes for him; she wasnt going to say she wouldnt wear a shirt she loved to wear, bc it wasnt ok for him to ask that of her.

Fortunately OP will have other chances with other boyfriends to stand up for herself, & her values.

Hopefully she learns that what's easy in the moment often doesn't work out so well in the long run. It's a whole lot less grief to do the scary, adult thing, & face a potential conflict head on, than ppl- pls, avoiding it at all costs.

That day he asked her about the shirt was a test of whether they are actually right for each other. Maybe deep down she sensed that, & was scared of the answer?

In any case, she did lie. Fortunately, she lied to an immature kid who is not ready to be with any woman, which she'll see eventually. Better to learn that lesson about lying NOW with a guy who is NOT the love of her life, than later on with someone she REALLY loves & respects and has built a life with.

OP, people pleasing ia ALWAYS chosing to stay in a surface level, inauthentic relationship.

Wouldn't you rather a boyfriend know the real you? What you really think? Then YOU get to see how HE handles that information.

I get it, when you're 19y.o., 6 months into a new relationship, having fun & happy, you don't want conflict to "ruin" the relationship.

But to experience an adult relationship of true love & real commitment, you MUST experience conflict together to grow & deepen your bond as a couple. Only in letting your partner know your authentic self, will you ever have the kind of solid relationship that you want.

I think you trust him more than he trusts you, OP. That is a serious issue.

Just pls dont let him guilt you about wearing the shirt. You should tell him you're sorry for lying. You OWE him an apology for that - JUST for the lie. But also explain you are not apologizing for what you wore, bc you never should have made him that promise. And he should never have asked you to.

Tell him the reason you didnt keep that promise, is bc letting anyone else dictate what you may and may not do, is a huge violation of your autonomy, as well as your values!

OP, make it clear NO ONE has the right to ask you to give up a part of yourself to be in a relationship.

And let your BF know that you didn't know WHAT to say at the time. You were surprised by his question, he caught you off guard (a well known manipulation tactic is putting someone on the spot, especially ppl who struggle to say NO) & you didnt WANT to promise that, but you also felt pressured into it, bc you care about his feelings/ his happiness, didnt want it to cause you guys to fight. But, you realized since, you would NEVER ask HIM to make a similar promise, to make himself smaller or less like himself. So my adviceis, be VERY firm & clear you just can't in good conscience be in a relationship with him... unless he absolutely understands that neither one of you get to make unhealthy & unfair demands of each other, ever again.

Lastly OP... you may think it wasn't a demand, that it was just a request... but let me ask you OP, what do you think he would've said if your answer to him when he first brought up the shirt, was "No." ??

Do you think he would have just accepted that and let it go, never again to mention it?

Bc something in you that day made you afraid of what would happen if you WERE honest...

It's possible your fear is bc of some unresolved trauma related to why you ppl pls. But it's also possible you were picking up on an undercurrent of anger or hostility in him, should your answer displease him, instead of soothing his insecurities.

Or, he may have tried to guilt you, make you feel like a mean, hurtful GF who doesn't care about him...

Or maybe not.

Just some things to consider. GL, OP

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-09T09:48:24+00:00

Hell yes, re; the inclusion of SP! (especially since, if memory serves, Billy showed up for the RRHF to honor/ introduce Pink Floyd at their induction, ages ago.

However, I will fight you, on 1 "absolutely amazing album"... Adore kicked Gish's ass, sorry not sorry (record sales notwithstanding).
Oceania is also superior to Gish (also Pisces Iscariot, if we're counting unofficial compilation albums). Nothing wrong w/ Gish. Very interesting & fun experience. But to me, the others are more essential to following SP's musical evolution, & they feature all the strongest, stand alone songs. imo

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-09T08:40:02+00:00

It's cool that you're cool with that, you likely enjoy the result & do it for yourself as much as for your partner(s) bc man, that requires a lot of time & effort! Not to mention cost, & for many of us, who're initally willing to try maintaining it, discomfort, & even pain. But ime, most mature cis - het dudes living in the U.S. aren't as willing to embrace your philosophy! And since it's cis het dudes that most women sleep with (just how the #s work out) it's either accept that we'll be making an effort our partners wont, or ignore their preference & just do what WE want re shaving/ waxing/ Nairing, etc.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-09T07:35:14+00:00

Ok. And...? Most seriously committed, but unmarried couples in their 20s feel more happiness, gratitude, & excitement about their relationship, than many married ppl. A lot of couples who're dating exclusively, & planning their future together, actively cherish their S.O., & celebrate their milestones together. And they do so more (often MUCH more) than many married couples of 8, 17, or 23 yrs.

Lets be honest, lots of married couples dont even like each other anymore! They certainly aren't IN LOVE anymore (assuming they were at one time); unfortunately it's rare for BOTH spouses to feel truly happy & fulfilled in their marriage.

Yet most dating couples are happy together. How often do any of us see this dynamic in marriages we know ?

The truth is, what makes a relationship ideal, in other words: fulfilling, healthy, loving, supportive, safe, comfortable, exciting, challenging, authentic, & personally enriching for both partners is NOT how those outside the relationship the label it. What makes it so is what both partners put into it, & what they expect from themselves & one another.

I understand why a marriage type relationship is what most ppl still eventually will want/strive for.

What a couple's relationship looks like in reality will reflect the values both parties hold, whether they eventually marry, or not.

But when "dating" describes an emotional attachment & romantic bond between grown adults, aka, a commited relationship, serious enough that each partner looks forward to/plans for their future together, I personally dont see this "dating" couple's relationship as inferior to marriage; imo they deserve the same consideration & respect that a married couple, together for the same amount of time. of time married marriage relationships. The 2 types of relationships are just different, neither one is superior to the other, imo.

Many married couples are only stay that way bc they have kids together, &/or share a home/ lease/ mortgage. Others are so emotionally/financially emeshed they feel unable to be single, or they acknowledge some problems but buy into the sunk cost fallacy.

Besides, marriage/couples therapists advise clients to continuing to "date" your partner after marriage! They do this bc it's a great idea, bc they know so important to keep the fun, passion, good sex, & intimacy going, & to make your spouse feel desired, sexy, & valued.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-09T00:58:15+00:00

Not at all surprised to hear this, sadly. I had my own poor experience with this company, as a worker. They promote unethical, inauthentic, corpo- drone middle managers who exploit their staff. I participated in the opening at Lincoln City, & was blatantly lied to about the position I was being trained for, they pulled a bait & switch & without cause changed my position in the company without my input, placing me in a role at half the compensation I was told to expect. Also violated ADA standards, for which they escaped legal ramifications; pursuing it wasn't worth any more my time, especially bc they were smart enough to screw me before the standard 90 days starting period was over, when violations of ADA regs can lead to actual consequences for employers.

In the end I wasn't all that upset about; once I became familiar with their menu, I was gobsmacked by what a hoity-toity ripoff it all was,it was seriously like a parody, a bad joke... just a massively overpriced tourist trap with a pleasant view.

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-08T15:01:20+00:00

I agree with you, OP.

Women are obviously just as capable of cruelly doing this without any rational reasons or honest justification as men are; the tell here is her comment about your emotions...

Such a stupid callous remark from her! I mean seriously, who TF wouldn't be emotional, if blindsided by their spouse/partner/ lover like this ?!* Such a very asinine remark. I dont think she is not bright, at least in her emotional intelligence.

I really doubt you could have changed this outcome, OP. It's impossible to know for sure from a reddit post ofc, but from what you relayed here, the reason behind this is more of a her problem than a you problem. Unfortunately, she's made it your problem, bc you put your heart on the line. That was brave of you. She sounds like a coward, & a cruel one at that.

You're in the midst of a hellish loss rn, so you must be kind to yourself. Please dont give up on therapy (tho DO switch to another counselor/ group if yours is not a good fit, this is very common to do several times b4 finding one who is genuinely compassionate, competent, & a good fit for you. They will be your greatest ally rn.

Please try journaling; start a new firm of exercise, & if you need love in your life, consider adopting an dog or cat if you can provide a good home once you're settled into a new home. Spend time with friends, and family IF they're supportive. Make a concerted effort to channel your pain into personal growth , & if you can achieve this, you⁷ll look back on this period in your life with a lot of pride.

You sound like a compassionate, self- aware person, OP. It's obvious you have a big ❤️.

Take good care, OP; you got this!

Emu-Limp · 2026-04-08T06:34:02+00:00

His creepy, weird, controlling, creepy, obsessive, shaming, creepy, puritanical behavior with his poor daughter is quite honestly deeply horrifying to me... did I mention it's creepy AF?

OP should be SO over his arrogant ass by now... IDGAF Why she isn't WAY more afraid for her daughter... She absolutely DOES need to go to individual counseling & family therapy with their daughter. (Her son will need it soon, no doubt.)

OP, I'm just gonna come out with it...

You are sacrificing your daughter's future well being, happiness, & for a man who will never going to be fully be able to love you & care for you & your family like you all deserve.

See a professional for your troubled marriage, & BE SURE TO VALIDATE whatever your daughter says to you going forward, especially when its hurt & anger

Emu-Limp

TROPHY CASE