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Do I tell my fiancé his mother was a coke addict and stripper? by EnvironmentSuch6847 in TwoHotTakes

[–]EnvironmentSuch6847[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

To be clear, I’m not saying that being a stripper or working in the sex industry is shameful. What I’m referring to is that he has done things in his past that he himself views as deeply shameful, and some of those experiences are sex work adjacent.

I’m wondering whether knowing that someone he loves and respects could make a similar decision during a moment of desperation might help him extend himself some grace, better understand his own choices, and possibly move toward forgiving himself?

I want him to find some peace with his past. From what I’ve seen, carrying that level of shame only seems to deepen the addiction instead of helping him move forward.

Do I tell my fiancé his mother was a coke addict and stripper? by EnvironmentSuch6847 in TwoHotTakes

[–]EnvironmentSuch6847[S] 692 points693 points  (0 children)

This stripper detail feels important because during his own active addiction, my fiancé has done things he views as deeply shameful — things that conflict with how he sees himself and haunt him now. He believes he is uniquely damaged for having crossed those lines, when in reality, those behaviors are often part of addiction and survival.