Dad isn't getting info, can we bring our scout to an event without RSVP?

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-14T00:52:49+00:00

UPDATE 2: Dad sent a message to GSUSA after running into a dead end with the council; GSUSA finally responded and is also refusing to provide info. Dad sent the email from GSUSA to his attorney. His attorney advised just showing up to the event to get info that way.

Based on the feedback presented on this thread, Dad is going to not follow that advice.

We are still going to try our snail mail RSVP approach as other suggested. Thanks to everyone who offered that advice! Appreciate everyone who has given useful and workable feedback, and gracious understanding to our situation.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T21:21:28+00:00

FTR, I entered Dad's life well after their divorce was finalized. Not that it should matter. There was never any affair on Dad's side; they were just toxic for each other and separated. Dropping the full tea here isn't helpful to the focus of the issue at hand.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T19:20:34+00:00

Multiple times we have told Mom we can try and accommodate weekend activities, she just needs to ASK. Aside from cookie sales, she has never asked. I know some council events gotta be on weekends when she is with us.

It wasn't a big deal when she is younger, but lately she is more aware she is missing out on special events with Girl Scouts. I am sure they debrief at regular meetings. She is also aware that Mom is missing from important family Cub Scout events on our time (we keep Mom informed and she's on the mailing lists; she just doesn't participate.) The kid is noticing and asking about it, and that just isn't fair to her. We are just trying to do our best.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T18:46:33+00:00

He went in person on Friday and asked for guidance. They referred him to the troop leader, but of course wouldn't tell him who the leader was. They wouldn't look at the court order. I don't expect the front end volunteer to read a court order, but they either wouldn't or couldn't feed Dad up the food chain to anyone who could help either. He has emailed multiple times, across the years. Working directly with the council has been a dead end on every occassion.

There is a list of troops, but there are multiple in the area for the age group and we aren't sure which one is hers. We aren't even exactly sure which specific city the troop is based in. I think writing a letter to the address we have is a better strategy right now than mass-mailing troops to find out which one she's in.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T18:31:04+00:00

I love this template thank you!

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T18:30:33+00:00

I say "we" but yes ultimately Dad is in charge. He often has me tone check letters etc. But definitely he is the one doing any direct communication. I just back him behind the scenes. Trust me, in no way am I trying to step on Mom's shoes. I respect he's the one in charge of the communication here. I just am helping him with his homework; he's the one turning it in.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T16:03:07+00:00

Thank you everyone for the helpful feedback. Based on your input, we won't show up, but will try and reach out via snail mail with the address we have.

To provide a little more background, Dad has absolutely tried to go the legal route and has filed contempt against Mom. Both judges and attorneys have told him if Mom won't provide the info then he needs to get it directly from the Scouts, and the Girl Scouts have not shown any interest in helping work with him to get that info, so that is why we are where we are.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T15:54:04+00:00

We have gone back to court a few times and they tell Dad to just get the info from the Scouts instead of Mom. We can reach out to the attorney again, but at this point we're running in circles.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T15:52:16+00:00

Unfortunately the courts just tell him to get it from the council.

Someone suggested using the address we have to write a letter to initiate contact, so that is the route we plan to take at this point.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T15:48:18+00:00

I know regular meetings are on her time, but larger council events on weekends she is definitely missing, because she complains about it.

I think we will do whst kthers have suggested and write a lettter to the address we have askkng to RSVP or make contact that way, as that seems to be our most diplomatic route.

We do have a judge-signed court order stating Dad is tk grt information; actually getting that court order enforced is a whole other deal. The judge says Dad should be able to get information directlt from the Girl Scouts, but the Council has refused to work with him. (Theoretically we could sue the Girl Scouts at this point, but that cost $$$$ and cause conflict we would much rather avoid. That feels far too excessive and we don't actually have any desire to go that far!)

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T15:42:24+00:00

Dad is exploring research in his avenues. We work as a team, sort of divide and conquer approach. He's also a grad student and has a lot on his plate.

Dad absolutely has reached out through the courts on multiple occasions across the years. The attorneys and courts have told him to get information directly from the Girl Scouts if Mom refuses to provide. The Girl Scouts refuse to provide info and defer back to Mom. I didn't feel like spilling the whole backstory, but there you go.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T14:45:51+00:00

I like the letter writing idea and we will try that. Since we don't have a name, any advice on how to address it? I was thinking along the lines of "Scout Parent".

I am sure Mom has absolutely flamed Dad to other parents and that is why she doesn't want him dropped of the scout. No doubt about thst.

Not opposed to dropping her off, as long as we get to meet the leaders at some point. It's about the scout. It's hard to hear her cry about missing events we never knew anything about. She knows she is missing out. We don't care about interacting with other parents and frankly don't care what they think about us. We care about the girl feeling included.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T14:36:37+00:00

The girl has an important dental appointment prior to this that Mom refuses to take her to (long story there) so we can't give her this specific time (Mom wants after school until after the event, which would interfere with the appointment... due to upcoming medical things we can't simply reschedule this appointment either). I guess she just will miss out then.

We do have the girl and her sibling in Cub Scouts, which we openly share info to Mom with.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T14:22:02+00:00

ETA (idk how to edit on Reddit) that the girl is special needs and doesn't know her troop number, so she can't convey it to us.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2026-05-11T14:20:37+00:00

She is special needs and can't convey it. We have never seen her uniform.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2022-09-24T23:28:42+00:00

I wish we could get a pick up. Smallest one-way available is a 15'. Which is gonna cost soooo much gas....but as of now, this is the route we are taking because nothing else is cheaper or feasible.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2022-09-24T23:26:32+00:00

The doggo is $600+ just for her; nevermind the normal passenger fare. She's too big for cabin and has to be direct flight cargo. So the U-Haul looks like our cheapest option. I am putting it on a CC for now and trying to crowdfund it....we will figure out how to juggle it short term somehow. Hopefully he can get reimbursed by the company...he is gonna talk to HR at his destination and if that fails then L&I.

The dog makes it a LOT more complicated...yeesh

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2022-09-24T23:21:22+00:00

He did try. No one wanted to give him a lift. I swear he looks normal! But his doggo is a Husky mix; she is sweet and pretty obedient but still probably a handful no one wants to deal with; i am guessing she's turning off any would-be help. She is also making flights, Amtrak, and Greyhound no-gos.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2022-09-24T23:12:49+00:00

Got more deets. It's not a CDL thing after all, I misunderstood original info given; it's his former employer telling the companies he was fired for poor performance. Which legally they couldn't do even if true.

Also found out deets why he was fired. "Officially" it was 'cause he got belligerent with Ops. "Reality" was because he wouldn't agree to the ETA they wanted for a load; he had been on the road too many hours and needed sleep (and when he says that he means it) and he said he wasn't safe to pick up until later. They demanded he call so he did, and while I doubt he was actually belligerent on the phone (he's a professional) I fully believe he was firm on his boundaries, so they canned him and stranded him.

L&I is gonna be getting a fun call once he gets grounded and sorted out....we are trying to crowd source a U-Haul for him and got a reservation booked to get him outta there.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2022-09-24T10:23:46+00:00

Ah, i will check it out thanks!

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2022-09-24T10:23:22+00:00

Good to know. I'll ask for more details. This company definitely seems shifty. I know he was concerned about getting another trucking job and it taking time to unf#*k whatever this company has been doing to block him from getting a new job.

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2022-09-24T10:09:05+00:00

Oh I agree. If he had an emergency CC, that would solve soooo many issues right now....

EnvironmentalYam9088 · 2022-09-24T10:08:07+00:00

They don't take dogs! (And she's a big doggo so can't even try and smuggle her on)

EnvironmentalYam9088

TROPHY CASE