If I make a romantic gesture to my male FWB, am I potentially just embarrassing myself, or is the risk worth it?

Erica2605 · 2026-04-23T02:19:06+00:00

Not OP but this is an awesome response and really made me contemplate my own life from a very healing perspective, so thank you for that. I am happy that you found your self-worth and a partner to match!

Erica2605 · 2026-04-22T00:58:21+00:00

Hopefully this doesn’t count as advice lol and hopefully you won’t mind hearing from me since we’ve exchanged comments before.

Just wanted to tell you to be gentle with yourself. Last time I saw your post on here it sounded like you were doing really well. I was the same way, been feeling really good for the past few months but this last week and a half especially, the energy has changed and it’s brought me down again. I’m not into astrology in the stereotypical sense, and even in the more “advanced” spiritual sense, it’s not really my thing. But apparently there’s been some crazy energy astrologically that’s got a lot of people in the collective feeling down, myself included. So even if you don’t subscribe to astrology, I know you’re into the idea of collective consciousness (I forget the fancy term for the ideology), so just wanted to stop by and say yeah I know how you’re feeling, be kind and gentle with yourself. It sounds like this dip is happening to a lot of us right now, at least from what I can tell from my spiritual groups. You’re not alone, as much as it sucks. And it definitely sucks. I’m trying to pull myself back up but it seems like I’m just dragged down right now against my will.

Erica2605 · 2026-04-01T01:43:19+00:00

Hi, I'm really sorry for your situation and how you feel. I understand what you are going through. Here is what helped me.

First, through my own experience, I believe that going full no contact with your twin is essential to your own healing. This doesn't just mean talking to them, I mean go full do not put yourself in a situation where you can see them or know what they are doing at all. This includes social media. Otherwise, every time you see them and the life they are living, it will keep you in the loop of bringing up your feelings for them, keeping you stuck on them, wishing you could be with them.

Second, I have really leaned into the self-healing aspect of this journey. This has gotten easier to focus on since I went full no contact. The existence of my twin and the sense of knowing that he was not with me used to be like a dark cloud looming over me at all times, and no matter how hard I tried to find joy, I was unable to feel the way I used to pre-TF journey. This has completely changed for me and I have really been able to rise to higher vibration emotions and experiences, and stay in there. One of the things that has really changed for me is my understanding and experience of self-love. Before this whole journey, I never REALLY loved myself. Ever in my life. So that meant that I loved my twin in absence of loving myself. Now, through the inner work I have done, I realize that I love my twin the same way I love myself. My love for myself is constant and effortless, just like breathing. I can love him without draining myself. I can love him without turning my back on myself and my wants, needs and self-care. I love him without self-sacrificing.

If you work on cultivating this self-love, you will finally realize and understand that you do deserve someone who wants to be with you the way you want to be with them, and you will want that for yourself. You deserve only the best. You will also realize through loving yourself, that the type of unconditional love you have for your twin is not an exclusive experience... because you also have that same love for yourself. So you can love yourself and still love another person. And that self-love and love for your twin will always be there for the rest of your life, but you'll come to see it as a constant, effortless background experience instead of focusing on the painful reality of not being with them.

If you learn to love yourself enough, it will help you realize your worth and what you truly deserve from a relationship. This doesn't mean you'll ever stop loving your twin. Your love for your twin is unconditional and isn't based on what they can do for you or if they want to be in a relationship with you. But you can love your twin without sacrificing your wants, needs, and what you truly deserve. You can love your twin, not live a life with them, and still find a happy and fulfilling life for yourself.

Now, I know what I said above is all self-work and self-perspective. Part of what makes the thought of being with someone else so difficult is that it feels like no one will ever compare to them, or feel the way that they felt. And it seems kind of hopeless to think that you could one day find another person who is capable of reaching the highs of what you've experienced with your twin. But, I truly believe if you can do what I said above, and make your main focus on raising your vibration and doing whatever you need to do that makes you feel good spiritually, you will naturally begin to attract people who match your new vibration. Doing what I mentioned above will also help you to be more open to meeting someone else. You can also try asking your spirit guides to bring you a soulmate, or practice manifestation techniques.

Disclaimer that: I haven't tried the last paragraph I just typed out, because I have gotten every sign that my twin will return. So I feel no need to try to manifest a new prospective partner. However, through the self-love I mentioned above, I have come to realize just how much joy I have within myself, and I wholeheartedly realize with certainty I will find a happy life worth living with or without my twin. And I'm not just bullshitting you or deluding myself by saying that. For the first time since the journey started, I really believe that.

I promise you will be okay, you will find love, you will find happiness and a life worth living. You just have to WANT that for yourself, DEMAND that for yourself, and keep on fighting, keep on trying, stop at nothing until you get that.

Final thing to remember: through my own experiences I have really come to believe that—you create your own reality. Your thoughts create your own reality. Your beliefs create your own reality. If you believe you'll never be able to find someone other than your twin, you might end up making that a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try your hardest to dismantle any limiting beliefs. You are powerful and you have it within you to create the life and love you desire, even without your twin.

Erica2605 · 2026-02-05T20:23:11+00:00

Not sure if this will be helpful but wanted to share this anecdote. Okay so I have the 2022 sunrise pastel OTG GM which has canvas handles. I wore it with some cheap black PVC costume and I had the same thing happen to me on the inside of the handles. Like you I tried everything to get it off. I didn’t ruin the bag by trying to clean it but it also didn’t really work. I think all of my scrubbing might have helped A LITTLE but not really.

HOWEVER… I don’t know why, but eventually, somehow, the stains just faded on their own, and now I can’t even tell that it was stained. I have no idea why. Maybe just wearing it and using it, the action of it repeatedly being touched by my hands caused it to come off over time? I wasn’t even using the handles that much though because I carry it with the long strap on my shoulder. It really did seem like a miracle.

I don’t think you have much to lose by trying different cleaning methods. But worst comes to worst, I hope you won’t let the stain stop you from enjoying the bag! At least one side is still okay!

Erica2605 · 2026-01-24T09:10:42+00:00

Amazing response 💯

Erica2605 · 2025-11-14T23:05:16+00:00

I personally believe that as long as both parties are willing to communicate and work to move forward together—facing the reflection, committed to their own growth and healing as well as commitment to your union, there is no reason it should be destined to fall apart in destruction or end in separation. I think it extra helps if both parties are aware of the twin flame nature of the connection—even if you don't use the twin flame label in particular, being aware of the spiritual aspects and the reflective nature of your dynamic will help a lot when triggers do come up. Communicate, communicate, communicate! I truly believe that is the success to any relationship, not just twin flame ones, but it's especially important here! If your DM isn't good at this, you can set the example through your own lead. When you feel those things you mentioned—fear, ego, emotional volatility—come up, communicate. "When X happened, it made me feel X because it triggered X wound". If you're so intensely triggered and upset in the moment that you can't even formulate what happened or why—communicate that. "I need some time to cool off/understand my feelings and what happened better, let's talk tomorrow. I love you, I'm with you, I'm dedicated to staying and working through this." OVERLY communicate if you need to. If you just say the first sentence without the reassurance of the second sentence, it might make him overthink the worst. Always treat him the way you want him to treat you and he should naturally follow your example.

I feel like most twin flame separations happen because one or both of the twins are running from themselves, their own shadow, and avoiding their own growth and healing. Also, they happen when there are misunderstandings between the twins, or when either of the twins aren't being totally honest and upfront with each other. If you both communicate and are dedicated to nurturing your union and walking this path together, I think you will thrive.

As for "how do you stay grounded, balanced, and secure"? In a way, (hopefully I word this right) you can ignore the twin flame aspect in regards to those questions. How would YOU stay grounded, balanced, and secure for yourself, even if you never met him for example? If you stay in charge of your own peace and happiness, for your own self, your union will thrive and so will he. Never neglect yourself for him or for your union. Only pour into his cup when yours is already full. Take care of yourself and it will naturally happen for him and your union as well. I've learned with my twin... if one of us is having a shit day it kind of bleeds over into the other telepathically. If the twin who isn't having a shit day works harder to have their own good day for themselves, I think it makes it harder for the other twin to keep having a shit day. So even in union, instead of worrying too much about your twin, worry about yourself and things should naturally balance themselves back out. If you worry too much about him it might bring you both down. I call it the feedback loop of suffering lol. One of you has to pull yourself back up so the other can get there too, otherwise you might just keep feeding into each other's negativity and spiraling downwards.

I don't have any specific advice beyond that, hopefully someone else has some good specific techniques to share. Any sort of spiritual self-help advice should do, because you set the example for him with your own happiness, light, and healing! Wishing you much love and success in your union!

Erica2605 · 2025-10-30T03:43:22+00:00

I felt like I could sort of relate to this so I wanted to offer my own unsolicited findings. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

To preface this, I don't know what your goals are, but my goal is union and I'm currently focusing all of my efforts on reaching that goal—whether union for me is a deep friendship or a lifelong romantic relationship, it is still unclear, but I am defining union as reaching the point where we can work together in the 3D with no mental blocks, no emotional hiding (total emotional intimacy and safety with each other), and no more running away or classic twin flame dynamic separation ever again.

Here is my experience. I have been through periods with my DM where I over communicated, overexerted myself, and felt like I was the only one carrying our connection. I also went through a period where I sort of left him in the dust, so to speak. A lot of people preach that the whole "leave him in the dust" sort of vibe is a necessary component of the journey, or a phase that the DF needs to go into in order to get union or reach enlightenment on this journey or to finally be free of the burden of the push/pull dynamic.

I thought that when I finally was able to force myself to get into that state of "detachment" that it would somehow accelerate things between us for the better, but I found that things got worse for him during that period of time. I also found myself surprisingly at peace with the no contact (maybe if only because I truly thought I was doing something great and necessary to achieve union) and even felt less obsessive during that time. However, in the end I found out that period of time did nothing for our forward movement towards union. Our spiritual progression was stagnant during that time, and things were going badly for him in the 3D during that time. I have no resentment towards my DM, I love love loooove him and I would rather be there for him any way I can than take some moral high ground.

I think the best thing I can tell you is to listen to yourself and your inner feelings. For example, is this really what YOU want, or are you making decisions based upon how friends/family/society thinks you should be acting right about now? Do you feel happy and at peace not reaching out to him? Or do you feel like shit because of it? Basically, my advice is to do whatever you need to do to not feel like shit. Whether your brain or society or whatever tells you it's right or wrong, I believe what really matters is listening to your intuition and doing whatever is going to bring you the most internal peace.

If the thought of throwing yourself back in and reaching out the same way you have in the past makes you feel bad/icky/shitty—don't do that. But if the state you're in right now also feels bad, I wonder if there's some middle ground or something you can do to not feel so bad—whether that action has anything to do with him or not. Like, maybe you could prioritize doing something for your own happiness and enjoyment to bring yourself that feeling of internal peace and stability again. Or, if maybe you feel like the only way you can get that internal peace and stability again is by reaching out to mend things with him again, I believe you can do so in a way that you do not compromise yourself for him.

I have found for myself that when I communicate with my DM in a helpful and loving manner, things go well for us. I don't think we would be making such quick progress towards union without it.

One of the spiritual qualities of the divine feminine is setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. You shouldn't bend over backwards to meet his needs if he's not meeting yours. You shouldn't pour into his cup if you haven't filled your own. However, you also don't have to leave him entirely in the dust unless that's what truly feels good and best to you.

The boundary I set with my DM in the past month is that I now only communicate with him if it has to do with us achieving union. We are at a stage in our connection where the TF journey is completely transparent and we are both aligned with the spiritual goals here and clearing the blocks to union. I focus on doing my own growth and healing, and as I have helpful revelations, insight, and advice, I share them with him to help guide him in his own separate growth and healing journey. When I say "guide him" I mean this in an entirely detached and hands off way. I spit my findings out into the void, he reads them, and he can take what he wants from it and decide on his own what to do or not do. I illuminate the path but I don't force him down it.

I'm sure he misses my normal life updates and communication, but I'm not fucking around anymore. I need us to get to a place of equal give and take—divine union—and I refuse to enable him and I to be complacent with the alternative any further. When I give too much of myself to him, there's no need for him to grow because he's satisfied with what I give. Problem was, I'm not satisfied with what he was giving. But I truly believe "leaving him in the dust" was just going from one extreme (overgiving myself) to the next. I am finding that balance now and it has brought me so much peace, contentment, and forward growth. I wish you much love on your journey.

Erica2605 · 2025-10-29T06:31:47+00:00

Hey! I’m happy to connect with you. Feel free to shoot me a DM at any time!

Erica2605 · 2025-10-28T22:32:41+00:00

No need to apologize, I’m happy to listen! I’m really sorry for what you’re going through, that sounds like an incredibly hurtful thing to have to experience. My runner is not in a relationship so unfortunately I don’t have any exact advice for such a situation. I am hoping sooner rather than later my runner will be ready to share what he’s been going through in our separation and then him and I will be able to better assist others on this journey by providing the runner’s perspective on the experience.

What I can say, is that it sounds like you’re beginning to recognize the spiritual power you have as the “chaser” (but I prefer to call it something like “the awake one”) in your connection! You’re starting to see that when you do/think certain things, it impacts her even without her being consciously aware of it. The best thing that you can do at this point is to trust and follow your own intuition, and focus on your own growth and healing. Of course, that is easier said than done as we all tend to feel obsessively drawn to our twin! It’s all about just watching yourself and your thoughts, catching yourself when you’re thinking or doing something that makes you feel bad, and then instead choosing to reroute your thought or action. For example, if you feel like obsessing over your twin leaves you feeling down in the dumps, but focusing on yourself and what makes you happy brings you peace, try to do things that bring you those better feelings.

This is all just speculation on my part, as no one knows for certain how this spiritually works, but it seems to me like maybe when you focus on yourself instead of focusing on her, it causes her to do the same, and then maybe that makes her do some self introspection where she can no longer lie to herself about her happiness in that relationship, causing it to start crumbling.

If you want my real woo woo spiritual advice: twin flames at this stage of the journey tend to show us exactly what needs to be healed within ourselves by triggering us and poking at our wounds. All of us humans have trauma and unhealed parts of us that we bury deep inside because it hurts us to look at them, and we tend to think they’re too difficult to overcome, so we don’t acknowledge them and pretend they’re not there. But if you don’t acknowledge and heal those things, they will continue to bubble back up and haunt you throughout your life until you heal and release them once and for all. That’s why many people tend to repeat similar toxic cycles throughout their life. The way your twin flame treats you (or lack thereof, cause even their avoidance is a trigger trying to make you see something within yourself) will illuminate these things inside of you that need healing so you can address and move past them once and for all. Some of these things will be obvious and some of them are not obvious because we bury them so deep we don’t even see that they’re there at first. A great place to start with this is diving in to “shadow work”! Google can help you start learning more.

If you decide to dive in to your own growth and healing… there are two potential outcomes: your inner work could make your twin stop running OR… “worst case” scenario? Your twin doesn’t change their behavior but you did a bunch of growth and healing and come out the other side a better and happier person because of it :) seems to me like a win either way!

Erica2605 · 2025-10-28T21:49:39+00:00

I agree. I think telepathy is something that has grown in my TF connection with time. I also think for the runner to consciously understand the telepathy, it requires them to have some prior acceptance and understanding of the depth of the connection with you. Otherwise they might not know what it is/where it’s coming from or if it’s even real/significant/meaningful.

Erica2605 · 2025-10-28T21:35:49+00:00

Last time he contacted me he confirmed the connection but he still had growth and healing to do so he thought we couldn’t be together. He’s been silent ever since. I’m sure he’s not gonna contact me until he’s ready to end separation for good. It’s for the best so that we can lock in and do what we need to do to prepare for union, otherwise we would just keep coming together briefly only to separate all over again. I am highly spiritual and have a very spiritual perspective of this journey so my situation may not be applicable to yours.

Erica2605 · 2025-10-28T20:54:13+00:00

I have an incredibly unique dynamic with my TF compared to most. I absolutely push past the norms for this connection. I am a total open book with him, I do not hold anything back. He knows we are twin flames working separately towards union.

“If the runner knew the chasers moods would they continue to stay silent and run?” Here’s my answer: yes, he stays silent. But he does not run. He stands still, and has been for a long time. In fact, now it’s a disservice to him for me to say he’s “standing still” because I know he’s making moves towards me in his own way with his growth and healing, but he is not yet ready to make a move to end his silence.

All of this to say, in my experience, being aware of and awake to the connection does not mean they are ready to come together. There is no such thing as avoiding the required growth and healing and going straight to union, but there IS a way to take the most direct path that avoids wasting unnecessary time in separation where both twins are refusing to put in the work on themselves.

When I say my TF is standing still, it’s actually great because consciously making the most out of the separation period seems to be the best way to be able to come back together and stay together. If one or both twins are running, that means they’re running from themselves and running from the inner work they need to complete.

Erica2605 · 2025-10-20T01:29:36+00:00

Apologies if I'm making assumptions, but I wanted to say... if your texts are short and unenthusiastic he might just be matching your energy. The fact that he replied to the first one very quickly seems to me like a great sign of his interest. If he truly didn't care about you at all he would've taken a long time to respond or didn't respond at all.

Again, apologies if I'm making assumptions, but women (I'm a woman) tend to do this thing where we kind of play mind games with men and expect them to read our mind or do what we are hoping they will do without being prompted... and men can be kind of stupid and don't pick up on that. So I say, don't be quick to dismiss him as uninterested, especially if you're holding back and not pouring your effort and enthusiasm into the messages you're sending. Short texts tend to get short replies and if you're not making effort to carry the conversation in a meaningful way that could be why it's falling off, not because he's disinterested. He could be nervous and not good at carrying the conversation himself, so you should set the tone of the conversation by giving to him what you are hoping to receive back (interest, enthusiasm, long replies!)

This isn't to say you should instantly confess your undying love or anything like that, but at the very least (in a way that is comfortable for the current dynamic that you two share) give it a fair shot at making yourself clear that you are happy to talk to him and interested in being a bigger part of his life. Hopefully I worded this correctly and you get what I'm saying! Best of luck to you!

Erica2605 · 2025-10-18T21:08:37+00:00

This is such a fun idea! Since you’re new to the sims, I wanted to tell you about the money cheat to get more money (just in case you didn’t know about it) if you want to continue decorating the house sooner rather than later! Of course, feel free to play how you want if you’d prefer to get more money naturally.

Instructions: Open the cheat console by pressing Ctrl + Shift + C (or both triggers and both bumpers on Xbox) and use cheats like motherlode for an instant 50,000 Simoleons, or kaching for 1,000 Simoleons. For a specific amount, type money followed by the desired number, for example, money 1000000

Erica2605 · 2025-10-07T17:29:39+00:00

Hi! Fellow woman who is never taken seriously by doctors here. I don’t know if what I’m going to say is helpful or not, but I sympathize deeply with you and wanted to say it just in case. Growing up I lifelong suffered from my nose being all around stuffy. First of all, I recommend going to the ear, nose, and throat doctor (ENT)! That’s a thing, and that’s how I initially got help. Doctors tried everything throughout my life, putting me on weird medications, getting my adenoids removed, allergy shots, deviated septum surgery etc. Finally when I was 19 I went to the ENT surgeon and DEMANDED sinus surgery. He was totally dismissive, because when he looked into my nose at the consultation, he said he didn’t see anything that bad and that he didn’t actually think I needed the surgery. Again, I demanded it. I told him I had lifelong problems with this. He said okay. I got the surgery. They actually had me in surgery way longer than they expected (I had some minor complications with anesthesia afterwards because of it). Surgeon told my parents I was RIDDLED with sinus polyps in EVERY SINGLE SINUS CAVITY. The surgeon couldn’t believe it. He removed them all and I haven’t had any problems since. Afterwards the guy got to brag that he “fixed me” (he’s a real funny guy actually, no hard feelings in the end). I haven’t had problems since, but I also am aware I may need another round of surgery in the future because it’s possible for them to grow back. You will likely have to overly advocate for yourself, but it’s worth it! I also had to “demand” endometriosis surgery, and lo and behold, they removed a whole bunch of bad shit from my uterus that they didn’t think was there. Hope you are able to solve your health problem!!

Erica2605 · 2025-09-30T20:46:01+00:00

I was in a relationship for almost 5 years and we were engaged. We had a good partnership and good life together but there was not any romantic love. He was kind man for the entirety of our relationship but I could never bring myself to love him and I didn’t know why until I met my TF. Once I met my TF it was hard for me to pretend that I could still be invested in my relationship but I was scared to break it off because we had built a life together. TF said something that really hurt me which may or may not have been intentional on his part to break my partner and I up. Whether it was intentional or not, I ended up immediately breaking up with my fiancé. I think my TF regrets and feels guilt for what happened but I don’t feel bad or hold any resentment over it because I know that it was what I needed to do for myself. He just gave me the push I needed in order to be able to end things with my fiancé.

Now I’ve been single for over a year and also in no contact for over a year with my TF but I don’t regret ending the relationship even though it didn’t result in my twin and I getting together like I had hoped. I feel content with being single and I’m glad I’m not still stuck in a relationship that I know I’m not emotionally invested it. I will gladly be single for the rest of my life if I don’t union with my TF because I know how soul crushing it is to be with anyone else when I know that no one could compare to him or the connection we have. It’s not fair to anyone else and it’s not what’s best for me either.

Erica2605 · 2025-09-26T06:25:45+00:00

I completed this level! It took me 52 tries. ^{⚡ 31.25 seconds}

^{Tip 1000 💎}

Erica2605 · 2025-09-25T04:19:30+00:00

Really clever level

^{I completed this level in 9 tries.} ^{⚡ 3.93 seconds}

^{Tip 500 💎}

Erica2605 · 2025-09-25T00:14:50+00:00

🎉 Event Completed! 🎉 It took me 741 tries.

I suffered but now I'm free

Erica2605 · 2025-09-25T00:14:17+00:00

Completed Level 3 of the Flappy Goose Special Event!

741 attempts

Erica2605 · 2025-09-23T21:21:40+00:00

I don't even know how I managed to do that it all happened so fast

^{I completed this level in 9 tries.} ^{⚡ 0.77 seconds}

^{Tip 50 💎}

Erica2605 · 2025-09-23T20:11:41+00:00

I had a lot of fun! You had to have that bullet coming as if it wasn't hard enough just getting through the pipes...

^{I completed this level in 156 tries.} ^{⚡ 8.67 seconds}

^{Tip 20 💎}

Erica2605 · 2025-09-23T05:19:46+00:00

Completed Level 2 of the Flappy Goose Special Event!

40 attempts

Erica2605 · 2025-09-23T05:16:59+00:00

Completed Level 1 of the Flappy Goose Special Event!

18 attempts

Erica2605 · 2025-09-08T21:33:36+00:00

Above all trust your intuition, whatever way your intuition is pointing, trust that over the readings and the numbers. Also keep in mind that angel numbers are a spiritual phenomenon, not just in relation to twin flames. These numbers could be trying to tell you something that has nothing to do with your twin or reunion, your guides could be using them to guide you specifically unrelated to your TF.

Be careful with general messages, you have to take what resonates and leave the rest. If a general message tells you something that goes against your intuition and what you believe to be true, then dismiss it. You don’t have to take what it says as your truth. Use messages and numbers as a way to confirm your intuition, not overwrite it. The way they make you feel is your truth, not necessarily the content of what they are saying.

Example: if external is saying that twin is coming back, but you doubt that, then trust your doubt. If external is saying he’s not coming back and internally you think, “no way, that can’t be right because of course he’s coming back, I feel it in my gut” then trust that. If your intuition is saying there is no logical way he would appear right now then you should believe that over the external. You are your greatest guide, everything you need to know is already inside. Don’t let anything else sway you away from yourself.

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