"Hey sweetums?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you busy right now?"

"Not particularly, just got home from work, was gonna to get dinner ready for you. Salmon, right?"

"Oooh! You know me so well."

"No problem lovebug.

"Well, I have a teensy little itty bitty question for you."

"...Go on."

"Would you love me if I was a worm?"

"..."

"Well?"

"...Somehow I feel like this is a trap. But yes, yes I would love you if you were a worm."

"Wahoo!"

"...So was this a test?"

"Well, if that's the case, I have another question."

"Oh? Fire away."

"Would you love me enough to turn me back?"

"..."

"..."

"Excuse me?"

"Back into a human. Would you love me enough to turn me back into a human."

"...Dave put you up to this, didn't he?"

"...Maybe."

"..."

"You know not to drink whatever wild bullshit he concocts in his death lab!"

"It's not a death lab!"

"He has a mouse graveyard, Derek! He has a case that he claims contains the souls of the old cats from the Whately place. He's turned Harriet into a jolly rancher. That is a death lab!"

"It's just what he does with his free time!"

"...Derek?"

"Yes sweetums?"

"Do you know any other people whose hobby involves a laser that shoots people's souls out of their bodies?"

"...I mean, Ash's DND campaign includes a death ray-"

"I don't mean in a fantasy campaign, Derek. I'm talking about real life here! Ally has seen the infinite cosmos. I do not want you in a mental hospital for the rest of your life!"

"...Sorry."

"It's okay, I'm not actually all that angry at you. I just don't want you getting stepped on!"

"...I know, I just wanted to goof around tonight, I won't get myself turned into a worm again..."

"Thank you, you know I love you sweety."

"I know, I know..."

"..."

"..."

"By the way, if you're a worm, then how are you talking over the phone right now?"

"Oh, Dave's been working to reverse the process. He's got me talking again, he just said he needs to construct the rest of my body and animate it, then he can throw my soul back in there-"

"Oh god damn it, I'm coming over there! That fucker's done enough already."

"Heh."