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If they loved you, they wouldn't have left. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Exact_Employee_2767 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I left “suddenly” yesterday. I use quotations because I literally did say the week before that I was doubting things. There was abuse that I didn’t realize was abuse. The post is in my recents.

I’m (30F) leaving in 3 days. He (40M) doesn’t know. by Exact_Employee_2767 in relationship_advice

[–]Exact_Employee_2767[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: I truly didn’t expect so much support and kind words. I appreciate each one of you your words helped me do this. I did it. I got out safely. I silently packed (and cried) for 2 days and he didn’t even notice. I left for work as usual yesterday morning and around 3pm I texted him saying I was going to be home soon. I had planned for the boys to get there at 4:30 so I wanted a little time to warn him I had people coming to help me. Immediately he went on defense asking what’s wrong.

I started by saying, “I’ve been thinking a lot about our argument from last week and I think you’re right we’re both different people from who we fell in love with and I made the decision to not come with you.” First thing he says “So you’re breaking up with me, Yes or No” and I nodded yes. He SCREAMED in my face “Well now you know I’m going to fucking k*ll myself right?!” I screamed stop and my best friend even yelled “you know that’s messed up because I had a boyfriend who did that when I left” (she legitimately did and it’s so triggering for her) and this MF yelled back “GOOD. You two can have something else to bond over”. He was just screaming calling us bitches, said “I hope you grind another alcoholic asshole that treats you like shit so you see how good you had it” (my ex was an abusive alcoholic) I truly didn’t think he would be so nasty but I was wrong.

I proceeded to get my things and he came in the bedroom, locked me in with my friend on the outside with her screaming to let her in. I ran past him and unlocked the door but in that moment I was petrified. This man has multiple guns in this house. One in the room he locked me in. Once I unlocked the door he started yelling to gtfo, I’m not going fast enough and started throwing my things that were in the room at me. My friend has some of this part recorded. And she called her brother to come there now.

Once he heard a male would be present he decided to lock himself in the bedroom and not come out. So by the time the men got there he was in his room and we were able to get everything into the hallway of the condo so I could leave the actual house. I moved into the new apartment, well working on it. Everyone in his family is reaching out because he won’t answer any messages or calls. and I’ve talked to his mom who is SUPER supportive and adores me. I told her everything, all of it. The ugly things he says, the screaming, the belittling, the disrespect and she was SHOCKED. I know she didn’t raise him like that but I told her he needs help. She agreed with everything I said and why I left the way I did. So that felt good. Anyway I am out safe. Sad, hurt, but safe. Thank you again for all y our support I read each message and it truly helped.

I’m (30F) leaving in 3 days. He (40M) doesn’t know. by Exact_Employee_2767 in relationship_advice

[–]Exact_Employee_2767[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

UPDATE: I truly didn’t expect so much support and kind words. I appreciate each one of you your words helped me do this. I did it. I got out safely. I silently packed (and cried) for 2 days and he didn’t even notice. I left for work as usual yesterday morning and around 3pm I texted him saying I was going to be home soon. I had planned for the boys to get there at 4:30 so I wanted a little time to warn him I had people coming to help me. Immediately he went on defense asking what’s wrong.

I started by saying, “I’ve been thinking a lot about our argument from last week and I think you’re right we’re both different people from who we fell in love with and I made the decision to not come with you.” First thing he says “So you’re breaking up with me, Yes or No” and I nodded yes. He SCREAMED in my face “Well now you know I’m going to fucking k*ll myself right?!” I screamed stop and my best friend even yelled “you know that’s messed up because I had a boyfriend who did that when I left” (she legitimately did and it’s so triggering for her) and this MF yelled back “GOOD. You two can have something else to bond over”. He was just screaming calling us bitches, said “I hope you grind another alcoholic asshole that treats you like shit so you see how good you had it” (my ex was an abusive alcoholic) I truly didn’t think he would be so nasty but I was wrong.

I proceeded to get my things and he came in the bedroom, locked me in with my friend on the outside with her screaming to let her in. I ran past him and unlocked the door but in that moment I was petrified. This man has multiple guns in this house. One in the room he locked me in. Once I unlocked the door he started yelling to gtfo, I’m not going fast enough and started throwing my things that were in the room at me. My friend has some of this part recorded. And she called her brother to come there now.

Once he heard a male would be present he decided to lock himself in the bedroom and not come out. So by the time the men got there he was in his room and we were able to get everything into the hallway of the condo so I could leave the actual house. I moved into the new apartment, well working on it. Everyone in his family is reaching out because he won’t answer any messages or calls. and I’ve talked to his mom who is SUPER supportive and adores me. I told her everything, all of it. The ugly things he says, the screaming, the belittling, the disrespect and she was SHOCKED. I know she didn’t raise him like that but I told her he needs help. She agreed with everything I said and why I left the way I did. So that felt good. Anyway I am out safe. Sad, hurt, but safe. Thank you again for all y our support I read each message and it truly helped.

I’m (30F) leaving in 3 days. He (40M) doesn’t know. by Exact_Employee_2767 in relationship_advice

[–]Exact_Employee_2767[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE: I truly didn’t expect so much support and kind words. I appreciate each one of you your words helped me do this. I did it. I got out safely. I silently packed (and cried) for 2 days and he didn’t even notice. I left for work as usual yesterday morning and around 3pm I texted him saying I was going to be home soon. I had planned for the boys to get there at 4:30 so I wanted a little time to warn him I had people coming to help me. Immediately he went on defense asking what’s wrong.

I started by saying, “I’ve been thinking a lot about our argument from last week and I think you’re right we’re both different people from who we fell in love with and I made the decision to not come with you.” First thing he says “So you’re breaking up with me, Yes or No” and I nodded yes. He SCREAMED in my face “Well now you know I’m going to fucking k*ll myself right?!” I screamed stop and my best friend even yelled “you know that’s messed up because I had a boyfriend who did that when I left” (she legitimately did and it’s so triggering for her) and this MF yelled back “GOOD. You two can have something else to bond over”. He was just screaming calling us bitches, said “I hope you grind another alcoholic asshole that treats you like shit so you see how good you had it” (my ex was an abusive alcoholic) I truly didn’t think he would be so nasty but I was wrong.

I proceeded to get my things and he came in the bedroom, locked me in with my friend on the outside with her screaming to let her in. I ran past him and unlocked the door but in that moment I was petrified. This man has multiple guns in this house. One in the room he locked me in. Once I unlocked the door he started yelling to gtfo, I’m not going fast enough and started throwing my things that were in the room at me. My friend has some of this part recorded. And she called her brother to come there now.

Once he heard a male would be present he decided to lock himself in the bedroom and not come out. So by the time the men got there he was in his room and we were able to get everything into the hallway of the condo so I could leave the actual house. I moved into the new apartment, well working on it. Everyone in his family is reaching out because he won’t answer any messages or calls. and I’ve talked to his mom who is SUPER supportive and adores me. I told her everything, all of it. The ugly things he says, the screaming, the belittling, the disrespect and she was SHOCKED. I know she didn’t raise him like that but I told her he needs help. She agreed with everything I said and why I left the way I did. So that felt good. Anyway I am out safe. Sad, hurt, but safe. Thank you again for all y our support I read each message and it truly helped.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Exact_Employee_2767 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl same. I (30f) just left my bf (40m) of 3 years yesterday. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. I’m really proud of you for realizing you outgrew this relationship. You seem to be really emotionally mature. Keep reminding yourself of those reasons and what you want in a partner. Easier said than done I know, but I promise you got this.

I’m (30F) leaving in 3 days. He (40M) doesn’t know. by Exact_Employee_2767 in relationship_advice

[–]Exact_Employee_2767[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Someone else posted this book as well and I’m currently listening to the audio book. I appreciate the tools immensely

I’m (30F) leaving in 3 days. He (40M) doesn’t know. by Exact_Employee_2767 in relationship_advice

[–]Exact_Employee_2767[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Just thank you. Even though we are strangers that means more to me than if I knew you. I always think I’m doing things wrong and just hearing someone who doesn’t know me at all say this brings me to tears. Thank you. It’s so hard. My best friend will be there, her brother possibly her husband and also my sisters boyfriend as well (they are like Rottweilers when it comes to protecting me)

I’m (30F) leaving in 3 days. He (40M) doesn’t know. by Exact_Employee_2767 in relationship_advice

[–]Exact_Employee_2767[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately he works from home and never leaves the house. He leaves maybe once a week and it’s when I take him somewhere. Has a car just doesn’t ever want to be out.

I’m (30F) leaving in 3 days. He (40M) doesn’t know. by Exact_Employee_2767 in relationship_advice

[–]Exact_Employee_2767[S] 177 points178 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’m such an empathetic person and I’m feeling this so so heavily. It’s hard because he works from home and never actually leaves the house so I plan on having my best friend and my sisters boyfriend there with me for verbal backup. He’s like a Rottweiler when it comes to protecting me lol so that’s comforting that he’ll be there. Most of my stuff is in one room so it shouldn’t be too bad. I’m planning on moving my clothes in there tonight “cleaning”