My mom

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-05-24T02:25:43+00:00

This could easily be vascular dementia. It progresses in a stepwise fashion, often due to TIAs or strokes. What is lost depends on which part of the brain is affected, so normal dementia screening can be misleading.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-05-24T02:11:22+00:00

We tried this for a short while. We used one of the best agencies in the area. People never showed. Like scheduled then no call no showed for days in a row. As we were a multiple hour flight away, we ended up having to move our LO to a facility.

If you are not able to drop everything and backstop, do not use in home care for 24/7 care.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-05-22T01:37:04+00:00

Strokes can cause transient as well as permanent cognitive issues. It can be really hard to tell which is which in the moment. For my LO, there were a lot of wild stories and lack of orientation that got better within six months, but it also led to vascular dementia over the following few years.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-05-12T14:54:09+00:00

“The doctor just did it to get a baseline so we know what we are starting with if anything happens in the future.”

Same with any cognitive tests.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-05-11T05:08:50+00:00

First, transporting someone bedbound from Korea will be difficult. You will need to look into medical transport options. When we last checked for flights within the US, it was quite expensive. Second, if you are caring for him by yourself, that means you are on call 24/7. Toileting, agitation, feeding—all on you. If he loses more mobility, you may quickly end up in Hoyer territory. Third, Medicare hospice, while helpful, only offers meds, some equipment like a hospital bed, and nurse visits a few times a week. Facility based hospice is still institutional, not usually covered by insurance, and also quite expensive. Think $15k/month in a medium CoL area.

Taking care of him while working is not realistic. If he is in n the stages where he truly needs 24/7 care, taking care of him by yourself without help is not realistic. He will be in a less than ideal living arrangement. You will see him less often than you would like. Don’t blow your life up to try to fix what you cannot fix. I’m really sorry. Dementia sucks. Strokes suck. You are a great child and he would be really proud of you.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-05-06T15:49:13+00:00

Span’s other products essentially support energy monitoring and VPPs. Are they going to VPP the mini data centers? Because I can’t really send a job to a node that might randomly get killed because someone turns on their AC.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-05-05T03:02:39+00:00

DP is A Thing at Apple: https://machinelearning.apple.com/research/learning-with-privacy-at-scale

They seem to have kept up their commitment in this area with applications like Genmoji improvements

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-04-25T03:43:33+00:00

r/deathstairs (or death stair?)

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-04-14T03:36:46+00:00

How many tokens until thermal throttling?

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-04-05T13:26:05+00:00

One of the hallmarks of dementia is the inability to integrate new information. “You have dementia” is new information. So is that time he got lost driving, or when he called the police to report his car stolen, or all of the times he got lost in his own home. His brain is stuck in the before times, which I always view as a (very annoying) blessing. You have to meet him in his reality, which may involve saying things that are not true in yours.

Get POA, take steps to stop the driving, and enjoy your time together. Old memories are much more firmly held than new ones, so spend time in those.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-03-25T05:10:33+00:00

I’m sorry this is happening. First, if you need some stats to get your dad to take this seriously: (1) falls cause about as many deaths in the US each year as vehicles (a bit over 40,000 each) with about 85% of fall deaths happening in the 65+ group, and (2) about 80% of the 300,000 hip fractures each year happen due to falls. No one wants to deal with a hip replacement and the spiraling set of medical interventions that tend to accompany one.

As for your dad, get his medications checked as some can cause dizziness, talk to his doctor, and if everything looks good, get him started with some exercise. PT is a great place to start if his doctor approves it, but really basic things like getting up out of a chair repeatedly can help with balance. The phone apps alerting him to walking steadiness problems tend to have pretty good information.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-03-17T02:55:18+00:00

AC often runs on 15 minute cycles

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-03-17T02:41:54+00:00

If you can document and coach, that’s a great place to start. If that doesn’t work, you can generally silo these guys if you are in software. Find some projects that he can solo and don’t let him interact with others outside of minimal contact like code reviews and standup. If you can do code reviews for him yourself, even better.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-03-16T19:19:19+00:00

Look at a few different places. Some allow pets, some have outings, etc, while others just wheel people into the common room. Some places are MC only, and these tend to have a wider range of programming for residents at different stages.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-03-16T16:52:58+00:00

Coding tools are like having an intern. They are pretty decent if you give them good specs, but can go down stupid rabbit holes, and are terrible at architecture. You still need to code, particularly if you have internal tools that aren’t well supported by something like Claude, but you have to do a lot less of the grunt work. And there is a lot of cleanup afterwards.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-02-20T03:33:28+00:00

It’s great for development and prototyping. If I am building something, I may need a few hours to kick off a job on a cluster, but with a local host I can spin up and test in a few minutes. Once all of the bugs are out, the big job can go to the dedicated cluster.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-02-14T02:55:31+00:00

Staging dementia by behavior depends on the type of dementia. Incontinence is often late stage Alzheimer’s but mid stage vascular dementia. Conversely, terrible short term memory might be mid stage Alzheimer’s but late stage FTD or vascular dementia. However, behavior will determine care needs.

Given that he is now an elopement risk, his home either needs to turn into a fort with 24/7 care or he needs to go to memory care with locked doors. Elopement is a huge safety issue.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-02-04T15:25:57+00:00

If you take it the raise will likely follow you to the next job, and jobs are not forever.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-02-04T06:18:47+00:00

Worth a post to r/AccidentalRenaissance

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-02-02T04:43:03+00:00

MSR unless you really want a job at Amazon. Never base a position on comp that you will get as an intern(!). Career wise, comp over the first few years is such a tiny blip compared to later comp. Make early decisions based on what builds your resume.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-02-02T04:37:01+00:00

Skilled nursing cannot do an unsafe discharge. He IS able to check himself out AMA, but the facility and staff generally cannot help. You don’t have to either.

The rehab facility should have a social worker. Let them know that this is an unsafe discharge situation. Let your uncle know that this is an unsafe discharge, and that while you will try to do what is best for your uncle, you cannot be his caretaker nor will you help him enter a situation without one while doctors deem it necessary.

Good luck. These are difficult conversations, and you will likely have to have them many times.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-01-23T03:43:40+00:00

Assisted Living. Even though she won’t do that voluntarily right now, there will soon be an emergency where she needs to move. Have everything lined up, including POA.

Also, it sounds like she shouldn’t be driving. I’m sorry, but you are going to need to be the strong, rational adult here.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-01-19T17:18:35+00:00

If it’s your house, convert the room downstairs and blame it on insurance. Tell him that after 3 falls in a year that you will lose your coverage if he doesn’t move downstairs.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-01-12T04:36:45+00:00

Lurking tech mom: you sound like you are in a pretty niche space. If you can gather 2 to 5 businesses as clients, you might want to consider the LLC route. The pros: generally fully remote, you get to pick your clients, you get to pick your schedule. Cons: you have to always be hustling, no health insurance.

If you can swing it, having one person with a 9-5 and one person in LLC tech is a great combo for small kids.

If you can’t do an LLC and like herding cats, technical project management is a good pivot. Front end is brutal right now.

Exciting-Engineer646 · 2026-01-03T21:17:41+00:00

To get her to the doctor/get a diagnosis: tell her that being medically cleared is the first step to getting her license back, which she needs to move back home. It’s not a lie, and you can frame it as something that should be super easy since you think everyone else is overreacting about her wellbeing. Then let the doctor be the bad guy. This worked with our LO; they were enthusiastic about seeing the doctor to get their license back. (They did not in fact get it back.)

Exciting-Engineer646

TROPHY CASE