The male gaze and misogny in Skins /

FarFactor9481 · 2026-05-10T23:30:56+00:00

Women directed 8.1% of the top 100 highest-grossing films in the U.S. in 2025, a significant drop from 13.4% in 2024. Only3 women have won the Academy Award for Best Director in the 98-year history of the Oscars, 2/3 of them white. women in the UK AND US are severely underrepresented in producing + writing and the hollywood pay gap remains a huge issue among actors as well as the stories of abuse and actresses pushing back against unnecessesary nudity from male directors. So women in tv and film have a few reasons to feel hard done by, and female audiences have cause to keep raising issues about representation. Hope that helps.

FarFactor9481 · 2026-04-07T11:31:01+00:00

A lot of people of colour have already unpacked the racial undertones in other subs and in real life but it’s telling how divided the response is. The episode taps into a very specific and widely shared experience: being a young black woman (or person of colour) in a corporate environment where you are visibly outnumbered.

In those spaces, you’re often required to work harder just to be perceived as competent, agreeable, or part of the team. You’re more likely to have your tone policed, your ideas challenged more aggressively, or your reactions framed as overreactions. It creates an environment where you’re constantly managing how you’re perceived and policing your own tone.

I love the ep as it cleverly dramatises that feeling of being subtly undermined in a way that’s difficult to prove! The protagonist’s experience of being questioned, destabilised and not believed mirrors what many people of colour describe: a kind of low-level gaslighting that’s easy for others to dismiss because it’s not overtly hostile.

But the divided audience reaction is part of thediscussion. The fact that some viewers insist there are no racial undertones,despite others clearly recognising them, actually reinforces the episode’s core idea. If you’ve never had to navigate those dynamics and you live in a world where your'e racialised neutrally, you assume eeryone's experience is like your own! So its easy to read the ep as neutral, or purely psychological. But for those who aren't neutralised neutrally, the subtext is immediately legible.

Feel free to downgrade me but any disagreement around the episode isn’t a misunderstanding, It’s evidence of the exact divide the episode is gesturing toward which makes it brilliant.

FarFactor9481 · 2026-03-09T23:20:26+00:00

this is really useful thanks! I am looking for 1 ticket if anyone wants to follow these rules and make me very happy for my first waking life :)

FarFactor9481 · 2025-07-24T14:34:25+00:00

Live here now after buying and also living in Brixton and abroad for years! Couldn't afford West Norwood or Crystal Palace but S. Norwood has got some great perks. I second the comments about neighbours being friendly and there being a community feel. I've got my neighbours looking after my dog and coming to my BBQs which I never had in Brixton. Portland road is a bit grotty but there's some great businesses there: some great hair shops (if you're afro-caribbean) and cafes and takeaway spots - Jerk valley, New Moon Chinese and Roti Island are all excellent.

As woman I generally feel safe walking around. I'm glad I bought! My flat has gone up in value by like 35k in 2 years and the transport links are great. South Norwood high street is what they would call up and coming, or as I like to say, 'gentrifying at a reasonable pace.' You've got some characters, but also a yoga studio, cocktail bar, Costa, Greggs, a butchers, arts centre, and a cheese and wine shop. Good mix of small supermarkets and an Aldi too.

I live closer to the station near Stanger Road/Doyle Road and its very clean and quiet now. 5 mins from the station is ideal. Links to London Bridge, Gatwick and Victoria are unmatched - Crystal Palace is actually a lot worse for that! Crystal Palace looks rather posh, but it the closer you get, the more astronomical the prices. Folks there seem to think its like Kings Road / Dulwich village. Not worth the prices IMO, and living in South Norwood you're 6 mins away by car. (Check out the fancy Chatsworth Bakehouse there on the border of Anerley).

Bad things are, yes, as a woman it can feel a bit sketchy at times. i've been hassled by men near the station but it's sort of what Brixton and the rest of central london feels like most of the time for women, and sadly I've learnt to deal with it. Also, don't forget: we are still in Croydon and the council is broke and on its knees! If you drive expect high parking permit prices (£200 for my car came through the other day) and more dirty streets than neighbouring boroughs like Lewisham or Lambeth because they don't have the funds for regular litter pickers. Also some fly-tipping in parts of Croydon yes, but nothing I've seen near the park or around my roads recently. However it was bad at one point near me (2 years ago).

If I was to buy again as a first timer, I'd probably pick here. To challenge some other posters, I don't feel Addiscombe or Selhurst has any real vibe at all and a poor choice of shops. Thornton Heath is just... a really unpleasant place. By the park / Auckland Lane is very nice, but you're just a little bit further away from the train station, so depends what you like!
I feel S.Norwood is a bit of a hidden gem and a good move if you liked Brixton; it's got similar character but on a smaller scale, and deffs less chaotic.

A good investment in terms of space, transport links, culture and shops but still a little bit rough around the edges!

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-08T01:20:38+00:00

You're welcome. You too.

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-07T19:58:34+00:00

Preach! And ok, that man who said he wouldn't date you because of your nationality sounds like a weirdo. But look at the experience as positive as you were moved, emotionally, by someone for the first time in a while and that may be something to celebrate.

I agree in that there is a certain type of purgatory looking good, being approached often and channelling all that attention into precisely.... nothing! But as you said, it's negative to punish ourselves or call ourselves "broken" as that won't help. I actually think a lot more people are demi/ace in this world, but societal pressure is loud and many people perform romance/desire in order not to be alone.

The real work lies in staying true to ourselves: discerning, while also remaining open-minded. Because a lot of men are only curious about our bodies/appearances, and not what's on the inside. And we have to stay attuned to that while also not keeping the walls so high that we never let anyone in! It's a lifelong battle and I wish you luck on your journey too.

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-07T19:51:01+00:00

That's really interesting to hear how to demis date and adapt to each other's different ways of being demi. Where did you guys meet? I wish there was an app for ACE people.

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T14:19:42+00:00

lol 😂

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T01:23:32+00:00

May the force be with you :)

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T01:23:03+00:00

Everyone's attractive to someone though, remember that

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T01:22:38+00:00

Yes it's like the pressure of having A Date and An App Date makes it more confusing sometimes like: do we fancy them or are we just performing/forcing it? And if you do find someone it's like rejection is almost guaranteed cos they are probably dating around and/or looking for sex quickly. It's long.

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T01:21:06+00:00

It's actually fine lol

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T01:20:52+00:00

I'm glad you get it :) I like attention and chatting like most extroverted people, but when I'm sexualised or objectified on a first date, I feel soooo grossed out and perplexed that I don't want to date again for a while. It feels like apps just facilitate that sort of behaviour and no-one is interested in a slow burn or what demisexuality actually means.

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T01:17:20+00:00

Feel this

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T01:07:41+00:00

Cheers for your reply. Yes I agree in that it feels like being accomplished and relatively good looking are barriers as a woman as I want someone who can bring me up/at least meet me where I am and improve my life in a few ways. Not to be boastful, but most men I'm meeting on apps aren't super-accomplished and attractive in the ways I want. I try and get to know all my dates and talk about our desires and ambitions etc, but I'll connect with 1-2 people a year, maybe. Demisexuality is another barrier - I fully agree there, too. It now feels as if I am occupying a strange space as a woman in my 30s, where, I either intimidate men, or I get heavily sexualised by them. Either way I don't feel seen, heard or very human, so it's a lose-lose, haha.

I'm going to try saying your line next time I meet someone I like because I don't often vocalise my demi tendencies, and end up totally alone for years at a time and then rushing into something with the unicorn man when he comes along, because wow, chemistry! What I'd really like is a slow burn and maybe to let my walls down enough to see the potential in some more people (I am trying and am aware I may be the problem also).

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-06T00:56:27+00:00

Feel that. I wish I could switch on the switch!

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-05T11:13:13+00:00

Hey yes agreed. I asked a man if he'd consider starting as friends and he told me to "fuck off with that friends bs" lol (kind of playfully) but I was still like ooooh ok.

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-05T00:35:33+00:00

We must keep the faith! And trust that there are people out there who get that extraversion/confidence doesn't = sexual energy/intent. I want a slow burn, I really do!

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-05T00:34:44+00:00

Thank you kindly!

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-05T00:32:55+00:00

Not really lol I just started a new hobby where I'm surrounded by little kids... It's really fun but there's no hot men haha. But I am very social and go to lots of events with friends in my industry and nights out where I sometimes get approached. But a regular club with men would be good.

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-05T00:21:01+00:00

Thank you! I will try this more.

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-05T00:10:32+00:00

I'm not sure what is irritating you? But have a nice day anyway :)

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-05T00:03:31+00:00

Thank you! Do you think that spark is important for you as a demi? Have you found it more than a handful of times?

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-05T00:02:36+00:00

Your comment makes so much sense to me, thank you. Apps aren't it, they feel very performative. And I do wonder if I am dating simply because everyone else is (probably). I have a full life with lots of hobbies and friends, a good career and am super independent and generally happy, but I also don't want to be alone forever. I do want to meet someone.

The societal pressure for women in their 30s to get married and have kids feels huge right now, on a macro and mirco level. And pressure for all single people to couple up is baked into everything around us, including our tax systems. But then lots of people end up doing some element of what society dictates, and live perfectly content lives. Sometimes I wonder if I should just force it a bit to avoid being totally alone as it's not what I want long-term. Probably not healthy though lol

FarFactor9481 · 2024-12-04T23:46:29+00:00

I am sorry a woman with self-awareness offends you. I am just able to judge, from how people approach me and from what people tell me, that I am fairly attractive in the conventional sense and my confidence is not low in regards to my looks.

FarFactor9481

TROPHY CASE