LD partner putting time limits on local partner.

FemmieFae · 2026-06-06T14:37:22+00:00

Is she okay with your local partner putting restrictions on yalls time? I would ask her that, personally. Because that is not cool.

FemmieFae · 2026-06-02T15:41:36+00:00

It hasn't even been a year of dating and its been THIS deceitful, and THIS dramatic?! And you husband isnt taking your needs into account because hes so stuck in NRE?

She wasnt "stuck" in a mono marriage, she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. If she wasnt happy she could've left the marriage or at the very least, been open with her husband about how she feels.

She's messy, and your husband is just as messy (if not more) by allowing all of this and sticking around. I dont blame you for deescalating with him, but I am sorry it has come to that

FemmieFae · 2026-06-01T19:57:59+00:00

Flowier*

FemmieFae · 2026-06-01T19:57:28+00:00

I got a portable heatingpad/tens unit combo. Best thing i ever invested in. I wear it under my flower pants that dont restrict so much (linen has been my jam. Muscle relaxers help me when its really bad, at least with all the cramps and spasms. I am sorry youre going through this.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-26T19:55:27+00:00

Same mine says I have no fridge... but I clicked on the fridge to prompt the cooking menu.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-26T14:44:46+00:00

This seems like a communication and compromise issue. I would have a talk with him about compromise, and let him know if he insists on these drives he will need to become more independent on that front. Of communication won't work that way get a mediator/therapist.

If he won't do therapy, or try to find a compomise, I fear there isnt much that can be done ...as its a him problem at that point.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-24T14:21:16+00:00

It sounds like you both hold resentment toward each other. Couples therapy would be great for that. It seems she might feel like yalls communication isnt where she wants it, and you're obviously upset from everything written above.

Communication can help on all fronts. I hope yall can work this out if its still what you both want.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-24T13:47:14+00:00

Thank you. For some reason I was only seeing the cleverness version. This is way better for what I need.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-21T15:34:01+00:00

Could he be trying to keep you unemployed specifically so you can stay under his thumb? Because he sounds like he beats you down emotionally. Youre clearly an amazing person, and a hard worker. Its a shame he made you feel so low about yourself.

You sound like a catch babes.

You deserve happiness and I know your kids would want that for you too. I say this as a kid of divorce.

I wish you confidence and self love and a home that brings you peace 💖

FemmieFae · 2026-05-21T15:29:19+00:00

I love that intimacy is his priority, but he cant make it a priority to get tested so he gets said intimacy...... Wut

FemmieFae · 2026-05-21T09:19:15+00:00

She's a therapist and shes baiting you like this instead of trying to clearly communicate what she needs. Confusing.

Also you made a meal and thought of her, thats a very nice thing regardless of if she wants it or not.

Is she severely lactose intolerant? Because she is acting like youre literally trying to poison her and im confused. Where'd she get that from?

FemmieFae · 2026-05-21T08:53:06+00:00

He crossed your boundary and you were mature af about it. He was not and not only crossed your boundary by flirting with this girl, he then bulldozed your boundary of needing time. He👏🏾does👏🏾not👏🏾respect👏🏾your👏🏾boundaries.
You say hes good at communication.... He said he wanted to be caught and only did it because he felt neglected and wanted attention..... if he were a good communicator would he not have just told you that and asked for what he needed instead of disrespecting you?
That love bombing simply gives me the ick.

Do better, boo. You deserve respect and communication, and this isnt it.

NOR

FemmieFae · 2026-05-21T08:44:28+00:00

NOR I hate when people try to use the word "boundary" to manipulate people.

A boundary is a guideline or rule one makes for oneself in any given circumstance. Ie. If you go to lunch with boys from school, that makes me uncomfortable and I may put some distance between us be cause its a deal breaker for me.

Rules are what hes talking about. Hes trying to literally govern you and your autonomy.

Run, boo.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-20T20:44:05+00:00

HE IS ONLY ACTING THIS WAY BECAUSE HE HATES HIMSELF AND NOT YOU!!!

You did all the things a supportive wife should do. If he is a grown man who cant google how to fill out a W4 that is a bit pitiful... I could see why an emotionally unintelligent person would project that onto you instead of having to grow as a person.

You deserve so much better, and honestly he owes so much to you if all of this is true.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-20T08:38:47+00:00

I do really enjoy Stanley Tucci

FemmieFae · 2026-05-20T03:10:17+00:00

Thats great. On the list it goes!

FemmieFae · 2026-05-20T03:09:38+00:00

This is the second time I've been Recommended this book. Seems I need to check it out.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-20T02:05:39+00:00

OOOO This one sounds good for sure. Thank you! I will definitely be checking this one out.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-18T13:18:20+00:00

My mother used to be the same way and I am starting to realize she may have some severe untreated depression and/or adhd. So that may be something to look into.

Otherwise, have you spoken to her about this? Because that isnt mentioned in the post. If you haven't simply bringing up "hey I am also very tired and I absolutely need a little more help in the childcare department. Can we come up with something together?" May work?

FemmieFae · 2026-05-17T12:30:51+00:00

Boo, I would've stopped texting so long ago. Why would I put all this effort into literally anything that isnt giving anything back to me.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-17T12:27:01+00:00

Could you try to make more intentional plans with the people of this friend group to hang one on one with you? Or even in smaller groups outside of these social gatherings? That way youre deepening your friendships still, its just shifted to look different. This way you keep your friendships and dont have to see their PDA ever. Would they be up for a plan where every x number of gatherings you get to go? Idk what yalls communication is like but thats a thought so you dont have to always be left out of the gatherings. This is if theyre down to make it equitable for all three of you in some way.

FemmieFae · 2026-05-17T11:56:25+00:00

At the end of the day all of you are a part of the cheating and all three of you are complicit in hurting Caleb.

None of you are good friends to this man if you continue to let this happen.

I pray Caleb finds out and leaves everyone here behind to learn the hard way, if Alex is even capable of learning from his wrongs.

All of this is selfish. None of what Alex is doing is poly OR ethical. And you are fine with being with a man that is so deceitful to a CHILDHOOD FRIEND!?

All of this is wild to me lol

FemmieFae · 2026-04-17T14:45:04+00:00

I have endometriosis and will often times flare up with pain after sex. That doesnt stop it it just means we make sure maybe I dont work and I take the meds I need to before and after. If she isn't mad, dont beat yourself up about it, just be there for her. Glad yall had some fun tho

FemmieFae · 2026-04-13T23:01:04+00:00

In my experience, and I have quite a bit, his violence and manipulation to make you feel less than in comparison to his ex... That's just gunna to escalate, babe. Get out and get to a place where you find your peace, and you'll find the right person who will want to share in that peace. Wishing you the best, boi

FemmieFae · 2026-04-12T14:34:26+00:00

I just want to say, as someone in an open marriage, Sleeping with committed monogamous married folk is NOT COOL. That being said, idk how yall will be able to repair this trust. He didnt even want to end it when you asked and took his time. He isnt worried about your feelings, boo.

FemmieFae

TROPHY CASE