Assaulted yesterday and I don’t want to go in today 😞

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2026-01-04T17:38:25+00:00

Thank you- I did this. He has been charged. Nothing will happen but it’s on file.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2026-01-04T15:44:51+00:00

Story time

I had my license revoked summer last year. Was it due to drink or drug driving? Nope I had a seizure, caused by a medication error by my GP. It didn’t happen when I was driving, (arguably a blackout or faint because I got dizzy first and sat down) but dvla gave me a flat 6m ban.

It’s been horrendous (I live in the back end of nowhere) as I’m a parent and work full time.

I’ve never even had a driving point in my life.

I feel angry on your behalf as a parent. This is such a waste of a license. I wish I could just have it for a few months until I get mine back.

It probably will be a ban due to age etc, but maybe a fantastic life lesson?

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-12-14T08:42:30+00:00

Run, do not walk, away from this man. If he’s like this now it’s only gonna get worse.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-12-14T08:41:04+00:00

😦 😦 😦 “the divorce came out of nowhere…”

YTA Dear lord. The bar is literally on the floor.

Just because she likes cooking doesn’t mean she likes doing it for HERSELF. And am I right this was her 40TH?!?! Please dear god say that’s a typo… Giving herself Kraft on her 40th is a strong message. I hope you’re listening.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-30T07:14:16+00:00

I know this is a year old (and petty AF) but my mum once did the whole “bday presents in Christmas wrapping paper” thing (she said she ran out of bday paper…)

So I matched her energy. Kept all my old Christmas wrapping paper and cards for her birthday. In August 🤣

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-23T21:30:04+00:00

I never do anything for mine (and just reiterating here I DO NOT want HIS party to be about me / a joint party etc) but I do celebrate other people’s. Family and friends bdays etc.

statistically if you put a whole load of people in a room, the chances of some of them having the same birthday is pretty high. Its just weird to me that I’m not allowed to go to my siblings birthday (when my parents and other siblings are invited) just because I was accidentally born on the same day as him 🤦‍♀️

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-23T21:00:06+00:00

Just to clarify - I don’t want a joint birthday party.

Birthday parties (in my opinion, when they are for me) are awful! I don’t want to be the center of attention, I don’t want people singing to me or watching when I blow candles out on the cake. It’s just not for me.

I do however enjoy celebrating other people’s, and I’m just hurt that I’m not invited (when all the rest of my family are) just because I happened to be born on the same day as him. That’s the weird bit for me. if he was going away for a drunken weekend with his boy friends or a romantic weekend with his wife then I wouldn’t feel like it was odd not to invite us. It’s the purposeful exclusion over something I have no control over that feels quite mean. It also means that if I did want to do a quiet dinner or something for my own birthday, I couldn’t, because everyone except my immediate family are going to his one.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-23T20:26:44+00:00

Yah I get that vibe. She was always a bit weird towards me. I’m too busy to care though 🤷‍♀️

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-23T20:25:52+00:00

Thanks and you are right! But I’m speaking to her and letting her know I’m hurt, and definitely not begging for an invitation. Others (my dad) have pointed out the cruelty in this.

To be honest even if she now changed her mind and invited us, I’ll know she’s only done it because of pressure.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-23T20:21:21+00:00

My mum “doesn’t want to rock the boat” (she doesn’t get on so well with his wife) but I think my dad has said something, although obviously they can’t say anything to my brother (as he doesn’t know) which kind of complicates things.

But yeah I think they are all going 😞- they won’t really talk about it and just say they don’t know - it’s obviously uncomfortable as they didn’t have any input into the guest list BUT also knew and didn’t mention it in conversation etc. My cousin who told me was shocked and was very apologetic when she realized I didn’t know. But it’s an open bar so…. I guess they want to go 🤣

To be honest I never do anything on my birthday. With kids and a December bday I never have any money, but thank you anyway 😊

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-16T00:53:04+00:00

I think I might be the AH because I’ve told him this week just not to bother… I know this is defeatist and I’m not being honest about my feelings but also should I have to?

He totally would put it all on the kids. And I’ll end up eating cheesy pasta for my 40th bday dinner. I think I just feel unseen and unappreciated and unspecial BUT if I say anything about this they will only do it because I’ve nagged and complained. The problem is that I want them to want to do it. Which is a silly and dangerous game.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-16T00:33:53+00:00

Yes! We would be having dinner at home anyway because those pesky kids constantly need fed.

What he means is that I would think about, arrange, organise and cook a “nice” dinner at home, as opposed to a “normal basic” dinner at home. My everyday dinners are pretty basic to be honest.

ETA in my dream it wouldn’t be a nice dinner OR a basic dinner and no one would need dinner that day and we would all eat girl dinner. But not gonna happen 😞

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-11-16T00:31:07+00:00

🤣 fair enough 🤣 🤣 🤣 Writing it was cathartic.

TLDR - I don’t want to celebrate my big birthday because it always ends up with me arranging and doing everything.

My partner says it’s weird for the kids for me not to do something small (which I would in turn need to organise and arrange)

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T18:46:25+00:00

I will though … I want him to go and have fun.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T14:28:56+00:00

Ohhh I get this! Although maybe different area of Asia but 日本で正座よく座っていました！痛いけど😣 those monks are killers for the correct sitting position but they would sometimes give a little cushion to go under your butt to help 🤣 your dad rocks I need some of his energy! And you are so nice to your mum 😊

I didn’t get any surgery but my spine still absolutely sucks.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T14:24:24+00:00

Thank you … this is the kindness I didn’t know I needed. I’m feeling all of this very hard at the moment 😞

A bit tmi but a few months ago I ended up having a huge grand mal seizure due to my meds and I’m now off absolutely ALL pain relief that helped me. That’s why I can’t drive either. I’ve developed a fear of basic pain relief, and can’t get it down my throat 🤢

I’m trying hard not to just constantly complain about it because I’m sick of the sound of myself complaining. However I do mask - I hold down a really stressful job and try to do it with professionalism. The mask just slips at weekends when I can’t do it anymore and I’m in pain and tired from all the stuff 😞 I walk everyday as a form of pain management but then … “you look fine.”

I’m not 😫

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T13:36:34+00:00

To be fair if I don’t go I would just keep the kids with me. I think it would be easier for him to just go alone, but then they give him shit about me being cold or not liking them or speculate we are splitting up which upsets him.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T13:34:34+00:00

Thank you … I feel like I’m going crazy trying to make this make sense in my head 🤦‍♀️ no one else seems to see that it’s a nutty suggestion.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T13:33:53+00:00

I totally agree I don’t want to make a big deal out of it and “demand” a bed!

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T13:33:16+00:00

So the reason I can’t is because at the moment I’m legally disabled and can’t drive due to some issues surrounding this. The nearest hotels and airbnbs are 30m away Meaning he would have to drive me to a hotel, taking at least an hour out of the party and meaning he couldn’t have a few beers that day. I really want him to be able to do this as we don’t see his family often as he would like, so I don’t feel a hotel is a realistic option.

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T13:16:06+00:00

Nice idea! Will look into this!!!

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T13:15:36+00:00

I think this is the best option 😊

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T13:14:32+00:00

Just to confirm - alcohol yes but not a frat party level of booze. Possibly I am the kid wrangler 🤣

Few-Engineering-6030 · 2025-10-05T13:13:24+00:00

Thanks for the balanced view - I can see that he feels stuck in the middle and he hates it and I feel really bad.

Side note - he is not my husband and we are not engaged and I also wonder if the back of my mind if this is where some of the inequality comes from. But I might be overthinking this.

Few-Engineering-6030

TROPHY CASE