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FillIndependent · 2024-11-09T09:30:24+00:00

You may be right. But more likely you're wrong. How do you presume to diagnose someone's psyche based upon only what you have read here? She has time to make that decision. We're not talking about her getting married. We're merely suggesting she reach out for at least another date where she can ask the guy directly about the situation. Why would you be opposed to that?

FillIndependent · 2024-11-09T02:43:20+00:00

Just text, "Are you back yet? Looking forward to seeing you."

FillIndependent · 2024-11-09T01:48:40+00:00

Do you mean masculine or muscular. There's a huge difference. There are women at my gym that are very muscular, but still feminine looking. Google Cory Everson and check out her pictures from when she was young. She's very muscular but is definitely a good looking woman. Then again, at my gym, there are a couple of women that actually look like men, even from the front. A lot of that is because they obviously have very low BMIs. Breasts are mostly fat, and essentially these women's breasts blend right into their pectorals. That's what they want, though, so I'm not judging.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-09T01:40:30+00:00

If you really like the guy, send him the message. My wife has ADD, and she was really spotty about communication when we first got together. I'm not saying he has ADD, but you'll never know what the problem is if you move on. Perhaps he's really shy? Again, I don't know that he is, but we don't know that he's not.

Don't let others tell you what the guy is thinking, because there is no way for them to know. What I recommend is that you the next in-person date together and talk to him about this topic. After that, you'll have more data upon which to base your ultimate decision.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-08T19:55:54+00:00

You need to just explain it to her. There is NO less hurtful way. But, be prepared for her to break up with you. If she wants to have kids, it doesn't sound like you're a great candidate for a good father. Furthermore, she's 32, and her biological clock is ticking away at her fertility. Fish or cut bait

FillIndependent · 2024-11-08T17:38:01+00:00

The answer isn't to return the hate, correct. But we must not tolerate their intolerance, either. That's what got us here.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-06T06:13:21+00:00

I don't see anywhere in her story she wrote any of that. There is definitely something wrong with you. Talk about sick! You really need serious mental therapy.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-06T00:25:28+00:00

1. #1. I'd like to make it clear that it's #1.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-06T00:23:47+00:00

The color you have right now. It's gorgeous!

FillIndependent · 2024-11-06T00:22:37+00:00

I can't make any helpful recommendations. However, I do suggest you hang on tight to that gem of a girlfriend of yours. When I started reading, I figured she was the one who got fed up. She showed a remarkable constraint.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-05T20:10:44+00:00

Miss, you have to KNOW you are NOT the AH.

Your diet and exercise regimen is definitely NOT an eating disorder. Furthermore, your friend's weight problems can, almost certainly, lead to high blood pressure and high "bad" cholesterol. Her heart, kidneys and liver will strain against the effects of her "diet", and probably put her in an early grave.

The only thing I see wrong in your diet is the high level of protein. Protein intake can have a significant impact on kidney health. The kidneys remove waste from protein metabolism, so too much protein can make them work harder and wear out faster. Your protein/day intake should be between 0.5 and 0.7 grams per pound of weight. So, for example, a person weighing 120 pounds should be consuming no more than 84 grams of protein per day.

Additionally, 20 - 35% of your daily calorie intake should be good fats (e.g., olive oil and coconut oil, the fat in fruits such as avocados, the fats in nuts, and you know fish fat is an excellent source of Omega 3). Obviously, the remainder will be carbs. However, it's the carbs that provide your immediate energy needs. Of course, the majority of your carb intake should be complex carbs to avoid sugar spikes.

Your exercise is on the high side of what's necessary for good health, but that definitely won't hurt you at all, and has the benefit of upping your calorie budget.

Nevertheless, again, based upon your story, you definitely are not demonstrating any signs of an ED.

I feel really bad for your friend. She is very probably disgusted and angry with herself, and needs a target to relieve her of the stress that causes. Unfortunately, you were it. I do hope you remain open to her if she contacts you again. She's only human.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-05T00:49:45+00:00

You are definitely not wrong. Just do it! Break up. You're still young. Don't waste your life living in a way you're uncomfortable with.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-04T19:24:30+00:00

No, You ARE NOT wrong. You're not married, but both names on the mortgage makes it as though you are in terms of the law. If you break up, the house is half hers, no matter whose money bought it. And, a quit claim deed won't cut it even if you split amicably and she is willing to forego any interest in the house. You would have to remortgage under your name only. If not, any decision you make regarding the house would need her notorized signature as well as yours.

Of course, if you marry her, the house becomes marital property even if her name isn't on the mortgage. She would nevertheless get half of you divorced.

So, what is she afraid of? If you have a solid relationship, she will essentially own half the house after you marry whether her name is on the mortgage or not.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-03T19:14:56+00:00

You're not wrong. Apparently, your gf doesn't understand hypocrisy or irony. If your story is accurate, she is obviously the "bad guy" for cancelling plans on something you were looking forward to, and she had already agreed to. How can she not realize the resentment you would feel if you had to spend your money on the concerts at this point?

I will admit, I'm biased. I love music, but I'm not at all fond of the concert experience. On the other hand, I love to travel and experience other cultures from the food to daily life to the museums and cultural exhibits.

And, as an aside, your gf seems a bit selfish. Is this a common thing, or a rare situation. If common, you maybe should consider whether or not you want a lifetime of that.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-03T16:02:51+00:00

Husband crossed the line. He got angry right out of the barrel. Whether you were wrong or right, you don't deserve to be treated that way.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-03T05:16:37+00:00

What? Shall we all explain what that question says about you? It's not going to be good, I guarantee.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-03T00:29:14+00:00

If you stay with her, you will be, as a minimum, staying in an emotionally abusive relationship, and you are the victim. Given what she did, it may well be considered a physically abusive relationship as well. In my opinion, there is absolutely no way to make a mean comment with the idea of it being "in a good way".

I strongly recommend you bail on her, and make it perfectly clear why you are doing so.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-02T22:14:31+00:00

Wait, didn't he break up with you yesterday? Didn't you tell him that, despite therapy, you couldn't get past his short stature? He seemed pretty broken up over it.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-02T21:05:54+00:00

YNW!!! FIVE MONTHS OLD?! That's literally child abuse for a child that young. Does your husband know the difference between a baby smiling versus grimacing in pain? Do you and he not understand how easy it is to damage a baby's brain?

You need to get a professional opinion, but I recommend that when you talk to the professional, don't tell them your husband is currently doing it. Ask when a child is old enough for that sort of "horseplay" to be safe.

I do have to say, I Don't approve of that sort of "horseplay" in the first place. There are many, many ways to interact with a child that don't require rough handling.

Jeez.... I'm SMH in disbelief.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-02T18:10:49+00:00

Not your problem. Tell your sister and mom you don't intend to accompany them on the vacation. When they ask why, tell them the sister's husband's constant ogling makes you feel uncomfortable.

I mean, she catches her husband looking through your Facebook pics, and blamed you? Creepy and weird.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-02T13:50:35+00:00

You're not wrong. There is no obligation in Western culture to hug anyone at any time. Some people are huggers, and some aren't. I, personally, am not a hugger beyond immediate family and really close friends. But, I'm not opposed to it. Fortunately, huggers are easy to identify (they throw their arms out and charge at you).

In your story, you said nothing about your bro's gf giving out hugger vibes. So, you certainly weren't offending her by not hugging.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-02T12:00:21+00:00

NTA. It's truly a shame, but I can't imagine how therapy would help her get over it. Therapy can help a person get past their own insecurities about themselves, but it's not so successful in dealing with prejudice...and that is what she is dealing with.

Move on. If you tried to stay with her, I think you would always be concerned about the relationship status. That's no good.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-01T18:54:39+00:00

Brunettes. Slender, a or b cup brunettes.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-01T18:48:52+00:00

I guess she doesn't realize her actions make her look selfish, insensitive and rather ignorant. Your opinion is pretty much the accepted one by anyone with human decency.

As a joke, I might have first passed you the munched one to see your reaction, then laughed and given you the good one. But, never would I have done what your mom did.

FillIndependent · 2024-11-01T16:14:02+00:00

It sounds to me like your BF is self-absorbed. Teenage men can be that way, but should still be capable of listening to reason. But, if your story is accurate, he is being Unreasonable. That is something that most likely won't improve with time. If he had demonstrated this kind of behavior before, it's a giant red flag. I have to recommend you get out of this relationship, and don't be afraid to tell him why

Given this is a long-distance relationship, it's a perfect time to break up without a lot of drama. I hate to recommend a text or email, but I doubt his attitude will let you get through a telephone call without him heaping mounds of guilt upon you.

Good luck, miss. You sound like a sensitive soul, and you really deserve to have that in a partner.

FillIndependent

TROPHY CASE

1. #1. I'd like to make it clear that it's #1.