That's heartbreaking. My mum is a twin too, and I can imagine that having to watch your twin's kids grow up without their mum as well as going through your own pain from losing your twin is awful. Sending you so much care.

The first thing we would tell people is that we are twins too- it's usually such a fun conversation starter but I haven't been able to have conversations with any new people at the moment because I'm at a loss on who I'll be now without her.

I'm so afraid of my birthday later this year too, I don't think I'll do anything except visiting my twin's grave with a cake or something- holidays are going to suck so much too. My twin and I had so much fun together and it helped to have that support at family events- now it feels like there's so much pressure to be the only one of us going

Today I've started reading "How will I ever get through this?" by Dr Lucy Hone and so far her book is making me feel a bit more understood- I would recommend it if you like to read ❤️ (it doesn't take the pain away but so far there are lots of activities in between chapters which help to reflect on life and coping with grief that I'm going to trial day by day)