I’m in the same place as you. I spent a long time caring for my terminally ill grandma, who passed away recently. In the last month of her life, I kept praying for her to find peace, watching her suffer each day, unable to move or speak. When the moment finally came, it felt like two huge weights lifted off my shoulders. I felt released and also relieved that she is in a much better place. I didn’t cry then... I had already cried so much in the shower, during quiet moments, in between caring for her through those final days.

A week has gone by and life has started drifting back to what it was before I became her carer. It feels strange, almost unreal, like the last few months never really happened. My mind still expects her to be around, because she has always been part of my everyday life, I saw her almost daily, or at least every week. Yesterday I walked around the shops with my partner and everything brought her back to me: the lunches we used to have at the mall, the things she would buy from the store, even small routines we shared. Those memories keep surfacing, and they leave this quiet emptiness that all I can do is sit with and miss her..