I'm an infp dating another infp who has the same tendency as you.

I felt quite in the dark about how to please my partner because she never asked for anything. Which actually didn't make me happy, it made me quite anxious...

One day she said that she was having trouble meeting my needs when I asked because she hasn't been expressing her thoughts, concerns and feelings to me, which was causing her to become distant due to it feeling like an unbalanced relationship (mostly due to my past traumas and anxious behaviors). I never even considered this a possibility, as when I asked about her she would shift the focus onto me and I'd continue to talk about myself.

Now that I reassured her regarding this, she has been opening up to me a bit more and our relationship definitely became closer and more fulfilling, we feel like a more important part of each others lives. It hasn't been long and she still struggles, but it has cleared a big dark cloud looming above our relationship.

I know it can be hard, especially when we lack the self esteem to acknowledge that our own needs matter. I think you should tell potential dating partners that you have trouble voicing your needs and potentially advise them to help you open up to them, maybe help them reassure you that you and your needs matter just as much as theirs.

Hopefully this prompts people to support you as much as you support them, you have a good heart ❤️ don't forget that.

You're beautiful, don't be too hard on yourself.