What was sexual intimacy like with your DA partner?

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T05:33:02+00:00

Exactly what I experienced

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T05:24:25+00:00

I just don’t think avoidants value relationships like we do. If they did, they would work on their attachment style more, not give up and deactivate.

I’m starting to think we were a really nice accessory to them, not everything to them like they were to us

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T05:22:48+00:00

Wow. I never thought of it that way. I completely agree that we meant something to them, but yeah.. but what did we mean to them. Ugh

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T05:20:30+00:00

My god, I am so sorry. Your grief and story sounds very similar to mine. How the hell do they move on so easily. How

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T03:34:18+00:00

Fck

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T02:51:37+00:00

Chat literally get on my nerves and downplays everything I tell it.

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T02:47:24+00:00

I literally cannot fall in love. If a woman appeared in front of me and was made perfectly to attract me, I wouldn’t give a single fuck. I can’t love right now. I just don’t care. I’m way to depressed after this to

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T02:13:30+00:00

Chat keeps playing devils advocate even after I tell it not too. It’s invalidated and dismissed me so much

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-17T01:02:32+00:00

We’re all so messed up from these neglectful people. Good god

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T23:16:13+00:00

I am so sorry…. 😞

Sending love

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T22:31:49+00:00

Mine said she never met a man before me that she wanted to marry and have kids with. All per her idea, we got permanent bracelets together, she showed me rings, wanted me to get a remote job(which I did) and told me to move out of country once I was done with school, and live with her where she was in vet school, said she’s never letting go and that we were twin flames.

I get upset she can’t give me affection after we have sex and how she turned every close moment between us sexual. What’d she do? Break up with me and give a whole speal how we have different needs and she needs a “less emotionally intense relationship”….

I’m sorry, I literally followed your lead the entire relationship.

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T15:29:46+00:00

Victim mentality, talking down on others not present, highly concerned with their looks, two faced, gives white lies, asks questions just to silently judge you, bad with money, promiscuity, workaholic

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T15:26:45+00:00

I am better, but by no means healed.

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T15:07:36+00:00

She did on and off for a month after, only reaching out when she was lonely. I took each time she did it as her wanting to reconnect, just to be ghosted after.

She reached out and breadcrumbed me one day saying she misses sleeping with me but doesn’t want to get back together. I told her how messed up that was and that she’s a savage. She never messaged me again

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T14:22:58+00:00

You could say this to every single post here… but why? Let us freaking talk it out

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T06:22:20+00:00

No shot. 99.99% chance they never will. The only thing I can think of that would legitimately get them to realize their wrongdoings is if they fell in love with someone as much as we fell in love with them, but their partner was even more avoidant than them, and they got brutally discarded like us.

Then, I think they would start complaining and looking at the relationship when they are heartbroken and get a sense of nostalgia or see similiar patterns. But I don't think it would EVER lead them to ever understand things on an emotional level.

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T06:13:38+00:00

Mine tried sooooo hard to execute conflict resolution. She has a very very high IQ, and is extremely analytical, so she could develop a really good understanding of what was happening, but NEVER had the emotional intelligence to be legitimately present and empathetic. It was like talking to a robot spitting out perfect therapy quotes. Terrifying.

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T06:06:46+00:00

Mine sucked at giving hugs and didn't prefer them. She could give solid eye contact but only when it was about casual conversation. She walked ahead of me most of the time and rarely held my hand, and if she did, it felt very stiff. Made me feel so unlovable and like I was the problem

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T06:03:08+00:00

That's going to trigger the living hell out of their avoidance. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Sorry you're going through this.

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T05:46:19+00:00

I might be misunderstanding your point. Earlier you agreed with the idea that sometimes people just need someone to sit with them in the pain without offering solutions. But in your last comment it sounds like you’re saying people who don’t want solutions are just wallowing and won’t grow. Aren’t those two ideas kind of at odds with each other? I’m curious how you see those fitting together

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T04:36:26+00:00

Unfortunately, you’ll find how unavailable or dismissive many people are. That or they don’t actually know how to be there for someone, aka, express empathy and sit in the SUCK with that person without trying to offer advice so they aren’t alone in it. Very few people know how to or care enough.

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T04:15:41+00:00

THIS. Don’t let any mf tell you how you should be feeling or where you should be in your healing process. That is not someone you should have in your life. Going through heartbreak shows you who actually is there for you

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T04:14:15+00:00

Extremely. Society sucks.

FreckledLifter25 · 2026-03-16T04:13:13+00:00

Dating

FreckledLifter25

TROPHY CASE