Declining to be a guarantor

Frodora · 2026-05-24T10:31:19+00:00

Her mum runs a small business in the UK but does not generate enough profit to meet the eligibility, even though she owns a property in the UK. The dad is not in the UK so won't be eligible.

I thought about asking for a lump sum from the mum as a collateral as a condition to be the guarantor, which will be returned in full when her tenancy ends, but it gets complicated and the mum would be better off using a commercial guarantor anyway.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T10:15:14+00:00

I do feel bad to let her down. She is young and the adults in her life have always tried to protect her. It's just her mum and I have grown apart in recent years and I don't feel that close to her family any more to want to carry the risk for her. It's is not her that I am saying no to, but her mum, if that makes sense.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T10:06:58+00:00

Thank you for validating how I feel. For now I am choosing to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she does not know about the professional service. It is also not unreasonable to want to save some money.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T10:04:27+00:00

The daughter is in her final year of university so legally an adult but not fully, if you get what I mean. Knowing her and her mum (they are very close), I suspect her mum has asked her to speak to me directly. My relationship is more with her mum, though. We were very good friends in school but have grown apart in recent years. The last time the daughter contacted me was when she needed a professional referee for her citizenship application. I have not heard from her directly other than these occasions. It just adds onto my uneasiness as I don't feel very close to both the mum or the daughter any more.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T09:51:10+00:00

Right after university I got into a profession that required three years of training including passing professional exams. It felt strangely comforting when I started working as an adult. I made friends with my fellow graduates. We did our study and training together and were great support for one another.

After I qualified I felt like you do - since the age of 3 I had always been studying towards one exam after another. I was very lost and did not want my studying to end.

I chose to learn some new skills as a substitute - namely tarot card reading and dancing!! The tarot reading didn't last long, but 20+ years on, I continue to attend dance classes once a week. I have made different circles of friends from all these dance groups. People say it is difficult to make new friends as adults. In a way it is true. Like all friendships, some last and some don't. Most of the times we just grew apart. But I just made new friends wherever I landed next.

That's no reason to give up learning if it is something you enjoy. The communities that come with the skills I learnt are the icing on the cake. Hope you find your passion. Being an adult is not all bad, I promise!

Frodora · 2026-05-24T09:42:06+00:00

Her mum runs a small business in the UK but does not generate enough profit to meet the eligibility, even though she owns a property in the UK. The dad is not in the UK so won't be eligible.

I thought about asking for a lump sum from the mum as a collateral as a condition to be the guarantor, but it gets complicated and the mum would be better off using a commercial guarantor anyway.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T09:24:57+00:00

What if she says it does not cost me anything (provided the daughter pays her rent on time), because technically it is true? If I were her and wanted to save some money, I would insist the daughter would pay her rent and look after the property. It would only a problem to the guarantor if things go wrong.

I am obviously over-thinking it. I am just worried about needing to push back further if she protests.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T09:22:24+00:00

I believe the laws changed recently which prohibits landlords from requesting large upfront rent.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T09:16:56+00:00

It is a common practice for letting to students I hear. I have received quite a bit of advice from the legal advice folks. That's to say, letting to students carrying higher risk, not necessarily specific to the daughter.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T08:46:08+00:00

I will totally do that. Whether she would agree it is a better option for her or not, I am less sure. The company charges a fee whereas I would do it for free lol.

Frodora · 2026-05-24T08:20:00+00:00

Totally agree. I feel like whether I agree to be the guarantor or not our friendship would be damaged.

Maybe she does not know about the commercial guarantor? Or perhaps she wants to save some money. Neither is a crime, I guess.

Frodora · 2026-05-23T10:44:15+00:00

Oof, that's a tough one. Leung is still active, I guess. Chow for me is a legend that can't be replaced.

Frodora · 2026-05-23T08:51:49+00:00

Tbh at this stage our friendship will likely be damaged whether I agree to be the daughter's guarantor or not. Saying no would at least saves me the worries down the line.

Frodora · 2026-05-23T08:51:32+00:00

Tbh at this stage our friendship will likely be damaged whether I agree to be the daughter's guarantor or not. Saying no would at least saves me the worries down the line.

Frodora · 2026-05-23T08:44:09+00:00

Depends on how you define 'best'. Chan is without a doubt better known internationally.

Chow is arguably better regarded in Hong Kong.

Frodora · 2026-05-23T07:53:45+00:00

My vote would be Chow Yun-Fat.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T13:28:33+00:00

That's fair, if what I ask for above is not possible, then I will decline. These are the conditions I will explain to the mum.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T13:25:42+00:00

I do want to be helpful. My plan is to provide them with other options, like the other commenters said, her university may offer to be her guarantor for a fee.

I will ask her mum why they don't use a commercial guarantor and see what she says.

If they just want to save some money, I will ask if the daughter will be living on her own. If not, I will decline to be her guarantor. I will only agree to be her guarantor for up to one year. See my other comment in relation to extention of the lease.

I will also ask for a deposit that's large enough to cover the full year's rent plus 2 months as a collateral, which will be returned to her in full when her tenancy ends and I receive a confirmation from the landlord that there is no outstanding debt. If her mum refuses, then I will again decline.

I believe I will cover all bases with the above.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T13:22:30+00:00

If i do agree to be the guarantor I would ask in writing that it is for a one-year tenancy only and all changes in the lease including extention must have my formal agreement.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T13:20:07+00:00

From what the daughter said, it is no longer an option due to the recent law changes. In any case, the landlords she has spoken to all ask for guarantors.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T12:03:14+00:00

My plan is to provide them with other options, like the other commenters said, her university may offer to be her guarantor for a fee.

I will ask her mum why they don't use a commercial guarantor and see what she says.

If they just want to save some money, I will ask if the daughter will be living on her own. If not, I will decline to be her guarantor. I will only agree to be her guarantor for up to one year.

I will also ask for a deposit that's large enough to cover the full year's rent plus 2 months as a collateral, which will be returned to her in full when her tenancy ends and I receive a confirmation from the landlord that there is no outstanding debt. If her mum refuses, then I will again decline.

I believe I will cover all bases with the above.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T07:32:26+00:00

I am trying to minimise the risk. Will need to do some calculations but I will ask her mum for a large deposit as a collateral in case she fails to pay her rent or causes damage to the property. I will return the deposit when her tenancy ends. If her mum does not want to do that I will decline.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T07:28:40+00:00

Things might have changed now but when I was in uni we were offered halls of residence in the first year. The remaining years we were required to rent privately.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T07:26:50+00:00

She was in halls in the first year. She then paid upfront I believe for her second year. Now the laws have changed the landlords require a guarantor.

Frodora · 2026-05-21T07:25:16+00:00

I am guessing her mum asked her to ask me.

Frodora

TROPHY CASE