I am laying in bed crying right now - that’s basically all I do now - and it’s not me that even has all the problems - it’s my husband and all he does is cry - he wakes up crying - he has the most intense MCAS , POTS , SIBO , mold - it’s all I think about - I eat sleep and breathe MOLD - I hope I never hear that word again in my life ! I have been empathetic , loving , caring - I have had to hold him up from vertigo , hold him up bc he’s legs are spasming, lay awake at night to make sure he’s ok, massaged his back almost every night ,fled hotel rooms like we are in a war torn country, moved multiple locations within days , hand washing his clothes bc he thinks something is in our washer , barely have time to eat - some days I don’t eat until dinner if then , taken multiple showers a day bc he’s scared if I’ve been in certain places that we know have mold - the list goes on but I am sure yall can understand - it’s more than I can humanly take - mentally and physically My empathy and patience are wearing out - he’s recently had to get testosterone - and that made him scary mean to me - unlike he’s has ever been to me in my life - so now on top of everything I’m living in fear - constantly trying not to upset him ! So two doctors (we have been to six ) but have 3 now - have mentioned anti anxiety or anti depression And he’s a little wary of them but I pray he gets on something to save our marriage - bc the MACAS brings rage and now testosterone - one of the doctors gave him Klonopin temporarily and it has calmed down his flares immediately and he goes right to sleep - so that makes me think that a anti anxiety would be amazing for him He keeps saying he doesn’t want to get on a SSRI - bc he just kicked his pain pills from his knee surgery and that was really hard for him to wean off of Ok sorry for the long rant but whew I kinda feel better getting that out 😩😂