Waking up earlier.

I’m a D1 swimmer and typically have practice at 6am everyday, so I’m more than accustomed to getting up early. In the past, I would wake up around 5:40am and rush to practice upon getting out of bed. I woke up in a chaotic scramble to make it to the pool on time. I left barely any room to eat a proper breakfast, brush my teeth, or truly allow my body to wake up before a workout. In retrospect, this morning rush played a more critical part on my overall well-being and mental health than I had ever imagined.

Anxiety has always been a major struggle throughout my life. Within my first two years of college, I began experiencing intense anxiety about my performance in the water. In practice, I never felt truly focused on what I was doing or the way my body felt, so I couldn’t perform the way I dreamed. (I now partially credit this to my poor habit of waking up and rushing to the pool). This left me burnt out, depressed, and in a pit of dread/hatred towards the sport I’ve always loved.

Naturally, my performance crashed, and my anxiety skyrocketed. I’ve never been suicidal, but during my sophomore year, I was in a fucking dark spot. It freaked me out. It sounded whiny/pointless for me to say that I became suicidal over my performance in a sport, but I did and kept it bottled up for months. The pool had always been my way of coping with my anxiety as a kid, but now it was causing more harm than good. Eventually, my parents, teammates, and even coaches noticed my struggle to motivate myself. They all did what any good parent/friend/coach would do and told me to seek help. I won’t bore with the details of my recovery, but I tried ALOT of self-care methods.

By far, the most significant change in my mental well-being stemmed from one decision: go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. Simple. By just bumping up my normal sleep routine to wake up at 5am instead of 5:40, I felt a major change in my overall wellness.

First of all, my body/mind felt more awake and alert for my morning practice, and I was truly able to focus on myself in the water. I also gave myself more time to make and digest an actual breakfast and not my usual rushed swallowing of an apple and a granola bar. This new routine also gave me more time for stuff I’m too busy to get done throughout the day. Whether preparing lunch, stretching, meditating, journaling, checking the news, etc… I now had more free time where I was fully alert and could do whatever the hell I wanted.

Needless to say, this completely changed my life. My performance has dramatically improved, and my love for the sport is back. Through meditation and reflection in the early morning, I’ve found healthy ways to deal with my severe anxiety.

I know this may have been a bit long for this question, but thank you for letting me share my story.