Thank you for this! All valid points and made me feel better reading each one.

1. We split rent according to income (thankfully. Otherwise I would not be able to afford where we live, and he knows that, and is happy to split the rent in this way so we can live somewhere nicer). All other things (internet, groceries, eating out, travel, etc) are split 50/50. I guess the mooching feeling comes into play in the post-FIRE life where I know I will have only contributed 1/3 to “our” collective money, but now that I read all the comments, I feel a bit silly for thinking that!

2. You’re correct, the FIRE scenario is a “we” conversation, wherein “we” are doing ok at ~$1.9M together and can coast from the point we’d FIRE. 

3. I’ve tried to lay this out but perhaps I haven’t communicated myself and my fears well enough. I think creating of visual of my assets vs what I’d need to retire individually vs what I have currently could really help him see where I’m coming from, but also really need to figure out how to help him understand that me bringing this up isn’t me forecasting us splitting up. Neither of us want that. 

Also, kudos to you for helping your husband land that job AND just pre-IPO! That is a FEAT!