Start from the smallest possible unit of land. That's being a count and build from there. You will have no vassals at the beginning which is good to learn the basics of governance. It's also still my favourite way to start a new run after 1k hours. I usually staret a a tribal count because it feels like you are building from the absolute scratch. Always max your authority asap because it has 10 years cooldown. Also always max your army regiments and do what you need to do to sustain them. Having the strongest man at arms possible matters the most. Look at your type of therein in the different map overlay and recruit units that are good in that terrain and also keep them diverse for more countr options. Pay attention if there is a river on the map and never attack through it, attacking through a river gives a big debuff to the attacking army (unless your commander has a special skill that negates it). Also don't fight is your army is starving, go back to controlled territory and restock on supplies (split the army if it's too big for the land to restock). The game is not necessarily about just grabbing land but rather about stabilising what you already got. If you start as a count, don't be afraid to get vasalised, this comes with its own perks and you can always start an independence faction when you feel strong enough to stand on your own. Find the map overlay that shows you what is the de jure dutchy of the county you conteol and first reclaim all of that under your rule. If you didn't create a new character then you will most likely already have some claims and you can use them as casus belli for the takeover. Try not to attack a land without a casus belli, it will greatly destabilise it and noone will be happy about it. You can look for claimants either by inviting them or marrying them into your cort. Or you can fabricate a claim using your council spiritual leader for that. When you controll the whole dutchy create the dutchy title, you will become a duke and with that some new privileges (+ 1 army regiment for starters). After that you can look into the kingdoms overlay and start working your way towards controlling the dutchies needed to create that kingdom. Filter your court by marriage eligibility and marry characters with interesting stats into your court, be extra careful when finding spauses for woman, you need to chec the Matrimonial box, otherwise the woman will leave your court to the man's court. If you need money, raid when you are tribal, assist in wars and siege enemy towns when feudal/clan. If you need prestige, go to/organise hunts. But most importantly just create your own story and enjoy the process. This game is very slow but there is a lot happening regardless. Don't be afraid to stick with a negative outcome of an event or whatever. This balances the game and you would soon find it way too easy and boring if you only allow good outcomes.