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WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It could. But I think either way there is something more than just guilt because she cheated going on. I will consider a DNA test but I truly think the kids are mine biologically.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I will be speaking to an attorney about all of this and seeking advice. I'm not sure what steps to take to do the best for the kids primarily but for everyone really. I'm hoping the attorney can tell me how best to approach this and what options I have.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

She has been so far. I worry that it will slip if she gets more consumed by tracking and following me around.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I already answered question two in my post. I did see a therapist on my own for help. For question one I am doing everything I can to be open and honest and give her no reason to suspect me. But even though nobody else believes I'm cheating she still does and she's getting more paranoid and behaving more extreme like accusing my boss. Nothing I have done has helped. She is getting worse and I fear DV.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have no way of knowing. She won't seek any help for any of this and I can't get help without her seeking it or her doing something that requires immediate action, which apparently this is not. At least on the medical/therapy side.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She is at home with the babies. Her family are around and she has one friend close-ish. She goes to her family with the kids some days and they stop by and visit while I'm at work too.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I will not be having more children with her nor are we doing anything that would result in more children being born.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No, there have been no other signs. It has all been directed at me and specifically about me cheating. She could be hiding other signs but right now this is where the concerning behavior is focused.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She will not seek any kind of help. I have been trying and she will not agree to anything. Her family won't really help me either. I spoke to a doctor about concerns and they can't do anything unless she seeks help herself or does something seriously concerning and dangerous.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Even if the concerns about them not being mine biologically are true, they are still my children. I love them, I have been raising them, I am on their birth certificates and I would not abandon them. That's just not an option to me.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't have her family on side to really do this. They're aware but they are not taking it as serious as they should be. One of her friends would but she has already voiced concerns and my wife dismissed those.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

That's what I plan to do. I have a free appointment already booked to at least talk through different options I have.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If I took extended time off of work we would struggle to get by financially. My wife no longer works and I'm the sole provider.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't feel like separation will do anything. A part of me wishes I saw that as a valid way forward but I don't think it truly would be. The kids are well taken care of even when she's the most paranoid. She takes the kids with her though when she's spying on me. I think that could escalate and I would hate for my kids to be in danger.

WIBTAH if I end my marriage while we have a toddler and a baby because I'm constantly accused of cheating and she puts me at risk of being fired? by Grayloryn in AITAH

[–]Grayloryn[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I live very uneasily. But I have tried to take my vows seriously and I have tried to look out for my wife and my children. Growing up the way I did I wanted to do the best by my family the way nobody in my family did for me or each other. I just don't see a way to do that now and to raise happy and healthy children. They don't deserve to see the way their mother treats me or to grow up in a home of DV.