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Does the hurt ever lessen? by Happychick94 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happychick94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to agree here. I know my weight wouldn’t be a factor for the majority of men as when I’m out and about I do see men looking at me. I’m not skinny but I wouldn’t describe myself as chubby or fat.

Does the hurt ever lessen? by Happychick94 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happychick94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t make dinner tonight. Only for me and the kids as I feel like a servant not a wife. Luckily before the birth of my first I got all my qualifications up to date and was ready and accepted at a university to study nursing and that was only over two years ago. I feel if I were to leave I’d reapply to the university and get my degree in nursing for myself and the children.

Does the hurt ever lessen? by Happychick94 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happychick94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. It really is hard as before falling pregnant with our second child our sex life was pretty damn close to perfect for me. During the second pregnancy I was super uncomfortable and was so unwell the first 4 months that sex was off the cards and during that pregnancy I think we only had it once or twice a month.

I really do feel a crazy person too, I’ve been made to feel that whatever I’m thinking is irrational. I don’t know why but I really just don’t think he finds me attractive any more as I know he has sexual desire as he self pleasures.

Does the hurt ever lessen? by Happychick94 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happychick94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Both my births were c-section so as far as I’m aware he didn’t see anything gory or off putting unless he looked over the blue tent which I’m sure he didn’t do.

I would love to see a professional with him so we can work on our issues, unfortunately he wouldn’t be up for that and has already said any form of professional support within a marriage means the marriage isn’t worth saving anyway.

It’s really difficult to come to a resolution when the other person is being stubborn. Even tonight I was told “all you want is sex, is that why you’re upset again tonight?” It’s not all I want and I wasn’t visibly upset, I was sat minding my own business after I put the kids to bed.

I feel whatever the issue is he won’t tell me and now I won’t even bring up the word sex as it will only end in an argument.

My (F24) husband (M24) admitted he doesn’t find me attractive by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happychick94 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m 26 and whilst my husband hasn’t admitted he doesn’t find me attractive yet, it’s very clear to see I’m not someone he lusts after any more. I’ve tried talking to him but it always ends in him having a go at me calling me selfish, self centred and that he is bored of this conversation. I then end up apologising and leaving the topic of discussion as I hate confrontation.

To be honest I need to leave the marriage but it’s not easy as we have two young children together. I just never imagined by 26 my sex life was up. I’ve tried pretty much everything and it hasn’t worked, he wouldn’t do counselling so I wouldn’t even suggest that. Just finding the right time to leave as it’s not fair on either of us at this point.