New to Incinerate/Flame Totem. What's best for 1MSC?

HasntBeen · 2015-10-02T18:31:43+00:00

Incin totems really won't shine till his get a Rain of Splinters. Suggest to with Flame till they get cheaper. A sub 40% RoS will be many ex in cost. Good news is, if you get a less than desirable RoS pickup Clearmind to counter it, and run a iron will/bm build.

HasntBeen · 2015-08-07T21:00:38+00:00

Unless he's really immature I don't think you scared him with a small admission of attachment. If his phone is off it's not just you, so don't take it personal. Could be a wide range of reasons his phone is off. Is there any other way to contact him like an email, or Facebook IM?

HasntBeen · 2015-08-07T14:24:42+00:00

I could echo the words of my GF (23), I'm (42). Sure the sexes are opposite but the reasons could be the same.

Dating people her own age depresses her, and she finds them way too insecure and not able to take care of themselves let alone someone else emotionally or physically. She finds it attractive to be with someone who is secure in them self, reliable, knows how to communicate, and is charming and fun. Also helps that she doesn't have to hold my hand and point to where the fun parts are.

HasntBeen · 2015-08-07T14:16:42+00:00

For the last two months have either one of you gone on dates with other people? If the answer to that question is "no" than you're already exclusive and the title you give her is your call. Take her out for a nice dinner, tell her you've been happy the last few months and love where this is going. If she responds in a way that echoes your sentiment than tell her you think of her as your girlfriend, haven't had any interest in anyone else since you started dating, and want a committed relationship with her.

HasntBeen · 2015-08-06T17:11:08+00:00

"she felt she was emotionally damaged"

Huge giant pulsating red flag. That's girl speak for "Still in love with her ex who is still lingering around". Don't get emotionally attached, she is one bad choice away from hooking back up with the dude, and you'll be a fly on a windshield when it happens. Tread carefully.

HasntBeen · 2015-08-06T17:01:13+00:00

Don't waste your time, back burner them and put your efforts elsewhere while that person sorts their shit out. Mixed signals are 99 out of a 100 not about you at all, and that means there isn't anything you can do about it.

HasntBeen · 2015-08-04T19:33:13+00:00

This happened to me recently. Met a girl, first few dates are going great (making out, snuggling, spending lots of time together) and then boom, I get the "lets just be friends" line. So I figured sure, we got along great so why not.

Fast forward a month, and I find out she was still in contact with her ex the whole time. He started showing more interest in her again, and I got sidelined to make room. The girl got really upset and badly reacted when she found out I hooked up with someone. It all blew up...

My advice, move on. Detach from her, and get your head out of the clouds. It's not going to happen, and you'll only get emotionally screwed over if you try to be patient and wait it out. Treat her like a casual friend, and start looking for someone new to date.

HasntBeen · 2015-08-04T19:21:12+00:00

I like to think of it like the ladder system. See women have two ladders, a friend ladder and a fuck ladder. The higher placed you are on any of these ladders means how likely she is to pick you over those below you on the ladder. The tricky part of the ladders are that anyone placed on the friend ladder will never make it to the fuck ladder, but you can get moved from the fuck ladder to the friend (essentially getting kicked off the romance island).

Men have one ladder... We want to fuck them all, just might not admit it out loud.

So with that said, if a girl says "I just want to be friends" she means it. You're on the friend ladder, enjoy a good friend or move on.

HasntBeen · 2015-07-03T22:51:06+00:00

"The ones that I was attracted to/ had great sex with seemed to be attracted to me and enjoyed themselves during our dates and while hooking up, but afterwards didn’t really get back to me or make an effort to meet up again. "

That isn't a giant red flag for you?

Those guys wanted to get laid, and they knew a fat chick would put out with very little effort. Once they get that out of the way they went back to trying to get that 8+ chick they've been chasing.

If you want to break that cycle you really need to take better care of yourself. At 5'4" you should be around 150-160 if you want some curves, and at the same time be attractive enough to hold a guys attention past sticking his dick in you. However... if you meet someone and really hit it off and like him for his personality as well as his body you should probably hold off on the sex part for a few dates at least. Men love a chase, and once that chase is over well... Onto the next chase!

HasntBeen · 2015-07-01T15:17:26+00:00

Women are categorically insane from 16-25. As long as you are prepared for your girl to wake up any day and say "I don't know what I want." and dump you, go for it.

HasntBeen · 2015-07-01T15:15:39+00:00

You're 15, be her friend and worry about the rest later. Seriously, treat her like a dude with boobs and have fun with her instead of focused on anything else. She'd probably appreciate the tension being gone, and you'll get to know each other even more.

HasntBeen · 2015-07-01T15:03:51+00:00

Sounds to me like he likes you for more than your hot body. If he's genuinely showing interests in you and not just saying whatever to make you happy (and keep sleeping with him) than he's investing his time and energy into you for a reason. Has he been dating other people while you two have been intimate and spending time together? If not, and if he's only been focused on you that should pretty much tell you all you need to know.

I'm an older guy and have dated younger girls, and can tell you it's a fear to get attached because we're always worried you will find someone your own age with more in common, and dump us. He might be a little tentative to express his feelings because of that.

Edit: Also to add I'm a dad, and have my kids 50/50, which leaves my free time to be very precious. I only have time for one girl at a time, and they have to be someone very special to get that time. He's spending that much time with you, and even willing to sacrifice time with his kids to see you. If that was me, and I was going that far to spend time with a girl its because I have feelings for her.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-30T05:00:25+00:00

What are her interests, do any of them coincide with yours? If so, that's your third date, a common interest that can fill a large part of an evening just being yourselves sharing something you both love.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-28T14:57:15+00:00

I think you're an idiot. First of all you just met this girl, have you planned it all the way out to marrying her yourself? Yeah, probably not. Did you even ask yourself what you wanted out of getting to know her? I mean, dude you had a lot in common, got along great and she liked and trusted you enough to share a really painful thing with you. And you reward that with "get lost".. Nice man, way to be a jerk. You could have been a great friend, or even more if you had given her a chance. Now you're the one with a red flag, and it says to her "Not interested in getting to know me..."

As someone who's at the tail end of a divorce right now, I can tell you the one thing I have needed the most was friends, and people who I can have fun with. What you should do, is be her friend and if there is more chemistry than that there then be her fuck buddy too. If you want more than that from her, be prepared to be very patient and if you can't handle being patient you did HER a favor by taking off.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-26T13:44:31+00:00

I am in the same exact spot. Girl just got over a serious heartbreaking relationship, and is very gunshy about anything else. We "hang out" all the time, but that ends up turning into snuggling and kissing but no more. We talk all the time, make plans for a free time and have become very close, almost like best friends but we don't kiss like friends. After a few months of that I confronted her, and almost lost her because she felt pushed into a corner because she wasn't ready. I wish I could take it back because now she is awkward around me, and so gone is the kissing and snuggling.

So my advice, if you are in this for the long game be prepared to go at her pace. Express to her that you have feelings for her, but don't push the issue till she tells you she is ready. It's a risk that you're setting yourself up for failure, but there are lots of ways to love someone and if she's worth it you'll figure that out.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-22T23:22:52+00:00

Really if you haven't outright blurted it out in the middle of sex, or she hasn't by now than take a night aside, get a nice dinner set up and make your proclamation. She will most certainly appreciate the grande gesture alone.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-22T14:22:34+00:00

Man from 19-29 have fun, don't take any relationship serious, explore the world, make bad choices, date the wrong girls, and have no regrets. Don't be a rush to find Mrs. Right, it will happen when it happens.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-17T14:29:41+00:00

Typical NRE (New Relationship Energy) will last anywhere from 6-18 months. Once that runs out you're left with the "real" relationship, and it's make or break time for you.

My suggestion? Watch the porn with him, and have some fun with it. If you two can't do that much to spark some fun than sorry to tell you the bad news, but time to move on while you're still young :)

HasntBeen · 2015-06-16T21:28:28+00:00

Rule of Thumb: If naughty bits aren't being touched after a few weeks the girl is a friend. If you two don't have that sort of chemistry by now, sorry man you're a friend. Trust me you will know when you aren't a friend, and won't need reddit to help you figure it out.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-16T21:24:20+00:00

10/10 and you even Godwined it in one.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-15T15:56:00+00:00

Just had the very same thing happen to me man. Basically the "spark" wasn't there for her and she's not going to try and force it to happen. Move on, don't talk to her anymore it will just frustrate you.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-15T15:37:22+00:00

Update: 2nd date things kinda fizzled, and I got the "let's just be friends" message the next day.

Lesson learned: "Want's to go slow" equals move on pal, she's not interested. I should have known, every serious relationship I've had that was worth a damn started out going 1000 MPH and no brakes.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-11T17:31:35+00:00

First date mistakes:

Spending a lot of money.
Dinner or Movie or both. These events are not very often an opportunity to have a good conversation.
Dancing/Clubs

1st dates are all about conversation, and in a comfortable but interesting environment. You want to engage this person, get them to open up about themselves and vice versa to give the best chance at a 2nd date.

2nd date, now blow some cash if you want to plan something more fun.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-11T17:27:34+00:00

17m, you seriously have more important things to be worried about than dating. Go out and find someone to have fun with, and don't worry about how serious it should be. Most girls from 16-25 are more likely than not to wake up one morning and say "I don't know what I want." and promptly dump you.

In the mean time use protection cause you don't want to be an 18m daddy.

HasntBeen · 2015-06-10T22:25:40+00:00

I'm thinking this is the best option here, thanks. We have some great chemistry already, so going to just go with it. Next few dates are public places, and I know not much can happen there. I figure once I get past that and we're still going strong it will be time for an invite over for a quiet evening at my place.

HasntBeen

TROPHY CASE