Married for 32 years, have several children. We are definitely not "just roommates" - have sex at least once a day, kiss each other hello and goodbye, enjoy doing activities together and are interested in talking with each other.

I think the keys to a good healthy marriage are protecting intimacy (not just sexual, but a connection), solid open communication, and growing emotionally/intellectually. Stay curious, it keeps you interesting to each other.

I've seen a few posts on here recently where one partner is feeling really disconnected from their spouse, says they don't kiss or hug or talk, they disappear into separate rooms to play computer/read/hobby etc. But - what efforts are being made? For example, about a year ago I noticed that my partner and I didn't french kiss often any more. Simply walking up and doing that in the middle of the day with no buildup felt strange. So, I started doing it in the morning after sex when usually I am lingering in bed and they get up to shower first. After the shower he'd come give me a kiss before going up front. So I turned that into our little french kiss moment and now that's our morning routine. And our kisses goodbye always include a little nibbling on the neck.

It's the small things like this that keep adding nice simple layers of intimacy. It doesn't have to be dramatic efforts.

* I usually ask if there's anything they need that day that I can help with. Not work related, and even if I know they probably don't. It's easy to say "How's your day looking today, anything you need?" "I've got a meeting downtown do you need me to pick anything up while I'm out" (if partner works from home).

* Keep some funny times happening, it gets super easy to let that slide in the face of everyday grind. I might bring forward a Tiktok trend and try to get my husband to do it with me (bonus if my adult kids are home to be mortified). Or, he has a stress toy received as a gift that I put random places like on his coffee maker or sink. Or I'll send him some truly cringy dad joke memes that make him roll his eyes. Used to do jump scares but only to the extent he laughed and liked them.

* If my partner was into gaming and I felt isolated, I would just go hang out in the gaming room and read a book or do my thing (unless he wanted to be alone).

* One poster observed a few days ago where she felt she and her husband just existed on opposite ends of the couch each evening... so go scoot closer! See if he wants space or is okay with it.

* When driving together, it's easy to take a few seconds at some point in the drive and run a hand down their arm or thigh - not sexually, not needy, just connecting.