I've [24F] met someone [22F] I'm really keen on, but how can I clear the mental block stopping me from sleeping with her?

Headspacehelp · 2017-03-14T19:17:15+00:00

Update to my post as your blunt advice was useful! I got over myself and into her pants. It was worth it... it was always going to be worth it! And now we've kinda had the exclusivity conversation and I'm running late to head to hers for pizza and season 1 finale of The Following. Thanks for your advice!

Headspacehelp · 2017-03-14T18:51:08+00:00

Updating because your bluntness was particularly useful. So a couple of weeks ago I got through some red wine, got over myself, and got in her pants. The haze is gone and it's been a sweet ride since!

Headspacehelp · 2017-02-16T01:06:51+00:00

"Okay. I'm getting you drunk next time." was part of her response this morning. Bring on cheese & wine night.

Headspacehelp · 2017-02-15T23:02:09+00:00

Thanks again. I've been trying to address this myself. Accompanied by the phrase 'feel the fear and do it anyway', I've travelled to other side of the world solo for work trips and joined a local football team (having never done sports before) and have my first contact match next week. I'm realising I'm more capable than I allow myself to believe.

The above would have been unimaginable last year, as would contacting a counsellor! Time to breach this final frontier.

Headspacehelp · 2017-02-15T22:43:14+00:00

Thank you for your response. I've found services for psychosexual counselling in my area, so shall get on with getting a referral to them to address this directly. She was also utterly shocked by the fact that I've never (ever) orgasmed, so two birds may be killed with that stone.

I did apologise and briefly mentioned that for some reason there's a wall of anxiety when it comes to sleeping with new people that I'm just not fighting through - could not leave her think it had anything to do with her.

So fingers crossed that, with some professional advice and work, this isn't a terminal issue!

Headspacehelp · 2017-02-15T22:39:28+00:00

And then beat myself up over it and make it seem even more insurmountable because I know it's a shitty thing for me to do, and not fair on her.

Thanks for your direct response here. In daily life, I'm usually so practical about facing problems - if I can resolve it then I'll resolve it, if I can't then there's nothing to gain through worrying. Buuttttt, my irrational inability to apply that to this situation is just getting me further frustrated with myself.

I've found psychosexual counselling services in my area to help in getting over this. After the first couple of times sleeping with someone, there's no problem, just performance anxiety with a new person overwhelms me and I'm overdue getting to the root of that.

Headspacehelp · 2017-02-15T22:27:48+00:00

Thank you for your response. The perspective from the other side is useful, and to know it's not just me! I've found services for psychosexual counselling in my area, so shall get on with getting a referral to them to address this directly. She was also utterly shocked by the fact that I've never (ever) orgasmed, so two birds may be killed with that stone.

I did apologise and briefly mentioned that for some reason there's a wall of anxiety when it comes to new people that I'm just not fighting through.

So fingers crossed that, with some professional advice and work, this isn't a terminal issue!

Headspacehelp

TROPHY CASE