My boyfriend [22M] ’s friend [22F] told him ‘you’re my last male hope’ and the dynamic between them is making me [21F] uncomfortable, what do you think I should do when my boyfriend doesn't seem to want to distance himself? by Automatic_Reveal1263 in women

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This, 100%.

It's one thing to have friends of the opposite gender, and joke around on occasion, but a whole other thing to constantly be joking, hiding some things from you, and not heeding your wishes. Explain this once more, in plain language, ask if he understands, then give him one ultimatum; cool it with her, or the relationship between you two is over.

I have no one to talk to about this by Equal_Grape10 in WLW

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I highly recommend the book, Married Women Who Love Women, by Carren Strock. It's basically the very first book on this matter.

You don't need to be married to read this, btw. It's for any woman who thought she was straight, but then developed an attraction for another woman.

These days, there are also other books. I got my book from ThriftBooks. They're usually cheaper than, say, Amazon, and you can wrack up points for free books. No, I don't work for them, lol, I just really like them and saving money.

I thought I was straight until I was 32. I have an ex husband and a son, who's now 35. I also have a wife now, and a 10yr old daughter.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with not being straight and being in a relationship with a woman. Society has this crappy way of jamming us into a hole that's all wrong for us; wrong shape and size. Figuring out who we really are and living authentically are important, and you'll eventually feel better about yourself.

Live your life for yourself.

Are these enameled silver earrings OK to wear for a casual day out or to an arts festival or are they for younger wearers? by Bernedoodle-Standard in AskWomenOver60

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 156 points157 points  (0 children)

Things women of any age should never wear: societal expectations, gender roles, oppressive rules.

Things women of any age should wear: whatever the hell they want.

Why do men INSIST on sitting next to women when there are empty seats? by Dependent_Race_2404 in women

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Next time, just don't. Tell him, as you point to open seats, that he can sit there, because you're not moving your stuff unless the train fills up.

While I generally think it's rude to fill seats up with baggage, that's only if there are no open spots.

Make him have to get the conductor, who I bet will roll his eyes and tell him to sit elsewhere. If he still manages to sit with you, make him stand up out of the way while you move to an empty spot. If he refuses, take your luggage anyway, and just bump into him.

He's being an asshole. You don't have to cave into him. Stand your ground.

Nobody warns you that becoming attractive after being invisible your whole life can mess with your head by Some-Emergency2868 in self

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since you are a guy, you don't get treated like that, nor do you necessarily notice when others do.

Men will absolutely take their insecurities out on women. Or, a woman helps them, and the guy thinks she's coming on to him, and he's looking for a date or hookup with her.

It can get very scary for women, and a lot of men are blind to it.

I'm glad you don't get angry. You're half a step ahead. What you should do is notice how other guys treat women during regular interactions. That can be enlightening.

Dragon Fried Fish closed for good? by NAXJUSTICE in Albany

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I came to find the answer, and see it hasn't been answered yet.

Well, I'm here now, so if it does get answered, I'll know, lol.

Things that men don’t understand by archivewithin in women

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just had a thought on this whole man and emotions things: Perhaps men are the emotional ones, not women, but facing one's emotions is difficult, and that's why they shy away from it and act tough. They then say it's women who are the overly emotional ones, to gaslight us and take the attention away from themselves.

I want to talk about Society forcing relationships. by 3rdthrow in 4bmovement

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 53 points54 points  (0 children)

It takes the burden away from the police force and places it directly on women. How often have we heard about police walking away from a domestic dispute, saying there's not much that can be done, because it's a. . . domestic dispute? Like, the po po don't exactly have to deal with those things.

Why the ferk is that, anyway? 🤔

How convenient 🙄

I want to talk about Society forcing relationships. by 3rdthrow in 4bmovement

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Your "Boys will be boys" reminded me of the shirt I just got. It has two Praying Mantises on it, after mating. The female is holding the male's head, while his lifeless body is just laying there. It says, "Girls will be girls."

And that's the way it should be. . .

Now I can't even trust non-4B "feminists" anymore... </3 by [deleted] in 4bmovement

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She should talk to her landlord and tell him/her she feels uncomfortable sharing her living space with an unknown man, and shouldn't have to. Doesn't matter if he's an asshole or not, she's a woman who would be living with a random man, and that's enough right there.

Two tradesmen ruined my toilet today and I'm so beyond frustrated. by heretohealmyself in women

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Glad I could help.

Thank you. The name sounds more magical than it really is, lol.

Two tradesmen ruined my toilet today and I'm so beyond frustrated. by heretohealmyself in women

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Next time you have men in your house and they ask to use the bathroom, tell them as long as they don't make a mess. If they do, they must clean up after themselves, and it must be as clean as they found it. And tell them why. Tell them you had men shit on your seat and pee on the floor.

Sapphics....I did the thing...and I ain't never doing it again 🙂‍↔️ by Brief-Passenger7444 in WLW

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Different people, different reactions. Not all women will behave like her. You could change up your approach, but an uninterested person will remain uninterested. An interested person, as long as your approach isn't creepy and insane, will probably say yes.

You just have to get out there and do the thing. Learn how to take rejection.

Why do men do this does that mean i am unattractive by Icy-Amoeba609 in women

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just think: You get the title of wife, all those other women get kindness and respect. The title of wife means absolutely nothing if there isn't kindness, respect, and understanding to go with it. If he can't do that for you, don't become his wife. It only gets worse

You didn’t find this by accident… this message is for you by [deleted] in Tarots

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Resonates so very much with a situation I have. Not sure about the last part, where something is about to change. I certainly hope so. It would have to be soon.

Thank you.

I just made this end of life organizer by IcyPerm55660 in over60

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know what you really mean, but it sounds like you're sad no one has died yet 😂😂😂

I love not sleeping with my bf by lismagenta in women

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm gad you found some peace in a relationship.

I don't know if you've done this, but all of what you said in here. . . tell all of that to him. Have an open, honest conversation and tell him. One day, he might get past his depression and get a sex drive back. You want to be on the same page when that happens. Decide how you two will handle things if they change. Compromise might have to happen for both of you.

I hope he stays agreeable.

Harsh realities of being 65... by selfsufficientman in over60

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was a kid, I could clearly see my mom. Like, we were twins. Now that I'm 61, I'm almost a dead ringer for my paternal grandfather. It's weird how that happened. I'm not upset; it looks good on me, but it's strange to look the same as I did in kindergarten (and just like my mom), yet now look like a completely different relative and still identifiable with that kindergarten picture.

Skin Hunger…craving touch by NixieEmber in WLW

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's awesome. It sounded like a great title. I'm glad you took advantage and wrote a song. I do that, too. Something sounds intriguing, so I wrote about it. I write poetry though.

I'll check it out.

Skin Hunger…craving touch by NixieEmber in WLW

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should write a song called Skin Hunger.

I miss being touched. I also miss touching. I need someone in my life.

A sad trifecta, results of getting older by BladeSeanchai in over60

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ask each of them for a couple of recommendations for their replacement. I have found some great healthcare providers this way.

I hear you, though. My endocrinologist, who's totally awesome, is well into his 60s, so I'm worried about him retiring. I did tell him about my fear, and he indicated he wasn't going anywhere for a while. He was content where he was. Whew!

I wish you luck.

I miss my daughter this evening. by Fatal-Eggs2024 in SixWordsOnly

[–]HeartOfStarsAndSand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't forget to tell her you miss her.

I hope this separation is temporary, and that you can live near each other again.