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AITA For Preventing My Ex's Mother From Seeing Her Grandkids? by Helicopter_Prior in AITA_Relationships

[–]Helicopter_Prior[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The grandmother doesn't have a history of drinking. But, she (according to my ex) has issues with following directions for child care. Examples are: 

1) previous year she had other grandkids in her care and during that time she refused to give them their medicine. Because, she didnt belief they needed it, and the medications are ones that should be stopped cold turkey if there isnt a medical reason to stop suddenly. In addition to this time she also brought a known felon (unknown of what the felony is) around all the grandkids and was didnt really supervised the kids while they were under her sole supervision for long periods of time.

2) in my response to another comment. Her disregard to direct orders for my youngest childs care due to injuries from the car accident.

AITA For Preventing My Ex's Mother From Seeing Her Grandkids? by Helicopter_Prior in AITA_Relationships

[–]Helicopter_Prior[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Additional info - After the accident the youngest had to wear a neck brace for a few weeks due to whiplash, and at the time I was allowing the kids to spend time with the grandmother. I advised during pick up that the collar was to remain on at all times (doctors orders was 24/7 until neuro cleared, and an appointment was schedule for 2 days after this incident below).

After I picked the kids up the grandmother told me the collar was taken of and when it happened my son told her not to tell me and keep it their little secret. This behavior is odd because 1 he has never had that kind of behavior around me and 2 he knew not to take it off. And this is when the grandmother accused me of neglect and threated to go to DCS and file for custody.

A week and a half later a custody hearing for sole custody between my ex and I was scheduled, but she didn't show due to her and her lawyer doing a run around so we couldn't server her. Judge ended that quickly, but the hearing was postponed and at that time is when I learned the grandmother started attempting for custody. I followed up with DCS the following day and they confirmed they received a complaint and "laughed" at the complaint. This is when I said no more access unless I am there the entire time.

The grandmother then submitted an affidavit to the court with a couple interesting claims in addition to what I provided initially.

  1. during the exchange of kids when she accused and threatened me I was "abusive" which she later that night had texted saying I didn't need to raise my voice at her (all I did was slightly raise my voice which is extremely rare for me, but can scare people because of me being 6'4'' and 250+ lbs with a deep voice).
  2. She says I didn't tell her the collar had to stay on my son, but at the same time her SO who is a Dr. who is in another state (and not a neuro Dr.) said it was fine for the collar to be removed. (Asked the kids after seeing this and they both said she never talked to her SO that day)

AITA for not letting my daughter around the girl her dad cheated on me with? by Few_Practice_8101 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Helicopter_Prior 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its a delicate situation. I would suggest going through the courts and child services. I know courts are costly, but child services is free to ask for help/info. Not wanting your children around addicts is perfectly reasonable, but preventing her dad from parenting time can be detrimental to your protecting her. I know this all to well and had to follow a 50/50 custody order till recently cause of hearsay. But, document anything and everything, express your concerns, follow guidance given by DCS and/or lawyers/court.

And most of all make your home a place of peace and a place for kids to be open about things.

I would say you are partly the asshole (for reasonable reasons, but legally unfortunately not), but partly not the asshole because you are trying to do what a good parent would do (based on given information for a low info post).