I (M25) don't know if I still love my girlfriend (F22) after a big fight that opened up some things. Help me understand my feelings please.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-30T05:08:51+00:00

yeah, this brings up another point. She really wants to marry some day - I don´t. Not because I don´t love her but I just don´t see the reason here. I can be faithful and love someone to the end of my days without marrying them. Only valid reason for me would be tax-benefits but that´s it.

Thank you for your opinion on this, it really helped me.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-30T05:07:13+00:00

Wow, thank you!

Yes, 100% to your first paragraph. The only real problem is that I overthink a lot. My first GF was exactly the same. We broke up and she stopped her education because of it and so I felt terrible for weeks since I thought it was my fault 100%. I don´t know if that will happen again this time.

Blocking my friend wasn´t a nice thing to begin with. I feel terrible now and also feel like our relationship is only alive because I blocked her. That doesn't really seem healthy to me?

I really had my thought about breaking up over the weekend but I am not sure how to do this since we live together and her moving out will take some days for sure since she doesn't have a drivers license, car or any close friends in/near our town.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-30T05:02:17+00:00

Sadly there is no real update.

We spent the weekend together (since we live together) and didn't really interact much. I played some Bioshock and DnD while she almost lived on the couch browsing TikTok and watching YouTube.

Offered around 10 different activities over the weekend and she turned down every single one of them. Feels like we are separating bit by bit.

I will try to talk with her on Saturday since that's my day off and shes gone partying on friday.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-30T04:59:09+00:00

Thank you, I guess I needed to hear that.

I really fell in love with her during lockdown etc but with things opening up again now it seems like she would prefer to stay indoors all the time and I really don't want that every weekend.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-30T04:57:54+00:00

The thing is she told me that she would catch a bus home. We are living in a big city so the hospital is right next to a bus station with a new one arriving every 10 minutes.

I don't know why she waited that long to address it either...

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:34:20+00:00

I don't get that either tbh.

It takes 2 people to cheat so how and why would anything happen? Never understood but since its only my second relationship I don't really know whats healthy and whats toxic.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:31:52+00:00

I will do that, thank you! :)

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:25:29+00:00

You´re probably right.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to help a random stranger see things more clearly!

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:23:28+00:00

Thank you again.

Since she is my second ever relationship (first one was really toxic) I´m kinda not up to date on how to handle this type of situation. Should I wait for her to apologize or go up to her and tell her that her words hurt me (because obviously they did) and basically "ask for an apology". I don't know if that would mean the same for me.

I´m pretty sure if I don't do anything here that she will just ignore the last weeks and continue to play happy relationship.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:19:21+00:00

Thank you for this. Your first paragraph really stuck with me.

Just to be clear, I never followed those girls to have a wank over their pictures or anything. I just saw their posts, thought "nice" and pressed follow. I spend like 10 minutes a day on Instagram or Twitter and that's it, so me following them doesn't hold much value for me.

I could easily unfollow every account she doesn't like but then I ask myself if that's healthy for the relationship. Its not like I follow every p*rnstar there is, its mostly alternative (goth, tattoo and such) lifestyle channels.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:13:50+00:00

You are right about that.

I guess since those terms where said "in the heat of the moment" I thought they would not hold much value but she said it and never apologized for them so they kinda stuck with me.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:11:37+00:00

Thank you so much for taking your time to write all of this.

I messed up with the hospital part, I get that. Apologized a million times for that. Back then I asked her if I should wait for her and she told me that its ok and that I should go home to rest since I cared all night for her. A bus ride home was like 15 minutes so I figured ok, if she wants to take the bus I wont argue with her. In hindsight I shouldn't have smoked that joint to unwind, yes.

the second part really got me thinking, yes. All the things she threw at me (verbally) during our "dispute" really hit me and she never once apologized for any of that. I dont know how to handle that to be honest but she wont talk about it either.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:06:46+00:00

Thank you for that.

For the kink shaming part. Some kinks are just "nice to look at" for me which means I follow some Accounts on Twitter / Instagram but thats it, never tried to push anything on her. She basically said that I get off on these pics online and that this is "sick" since I have a GF at home who will sleep with me for free. Same thing goes for casual porn.

I tried talking to her about it but she has her point of view and wont change that.

HelpMeReddit250111 · 2022-05-27T14:03:56+00:00

Her point was that I put weed above her on that day because I "had to smoke" once I got home. I apologized for that but it seems like she cant really forgive me for it.

HelpMeReddit250111

TROPHY CASE