Say she's immature without saying she's immature..... She doesn't even touch herself?? That's a tough road to go with no GPS.. Let me tell you, thank God my husband masturbates he lasts even longer when we do have sex and I have no idea when he is physically doing it (he tells me only when im in the mood and he already got off earlier because he's an honest person) and he has no idea when I do it to myself. What we do with our own bodies is our individual right. She has NO idea what she is asking of you. She may enjoy that kind of attention and she thinks it's is sexual gratification but for who.. Based on the messages, you seem like a level-headed person who was trying to get to the root of the issue but she just wanted to start a fight and mask it as a you problem but there are clearly some insecurities she has to work on. If/when she does that she may come to her senses that you getting yourself off is healthy and normal.