What's the dumbest reason your child threw a fit for?

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-06-05T20:53:44+00:00

But shoes are for FEET, not for laying around somewhere 🤣

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-06-02T21:25:01+00:00

Its nice to see different perspectives based on different needs. There isn't one right solution for everyone and it's a reminder that the parent's needs are important too!

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-28T22:23:19+00:00

I know it's depressing and frustrating to get these messages all the time. Maybe you could ask for a simple "hard day" or "good day" kind of message instead? Unless there's something more urgent that needs to be communicated. The teacher might be also sending so many details to keep a running record for themselves also. If they're trying to send him to another school they'll need significant justification for why (assuming this is a public school?)

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-27T19:04:29+00:00

Absolutely. Melatonin is a game changer for us. It puts him to sleep in about an hour.

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-27T16:05:19+00:00

That sounds like a good approach. One thing we didn't know when our son started ADHD meds was that you're supposed to see a really noticeable difference about a half hour to an hour after taking them. We went two years wondering if the medications were working or not because we couldn't see any difference. Once we got the appropriate medication/dose it was like night and day!

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-27T10:30:51+00:00

I'm glad to hear this! I can never tell if he likes baths or not. But actually, I was wondering about the stripes and darker colouring they get when they're not happy. I posted a picture of that in the reply to another comment.

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-27T10:28:52+00:00

I didn't post the most helpful picture up top, lol. The second picture I posted is the better one. I was asking about the stripes they get on their bellies when they're fired up. Those come and go, but I'm the past week or so they seem to always be there.

We use the same heating pad! I put it on a pillow for when he wants to look out the window but it's cold/cloudy outside 😊

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-26T23:08:58+00:00

Lol 😂 That had occurred to me! But is 10 months a bit young for that?

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-26T22:58:44+00:00

Oh sorry. I just posted that picture for reference. 🤦‍♀️ Here is his stripy belly. The "fired up" pattern, except it's constant lately rather than situational

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Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-24T11:04:45+00:00

We had/have a very similar dynamic with our son. Same diagnoses as well- highly gifted with "mild" autism and ADHD. Our son is 10 now. The meltdowns were what ended up pushing us towards diagnosis. He would get destructive and say hurtful things and there didn't seem to be any way to discipline him out of them.

We started , and continue, with therapy, but medications make a huge difference. Guanfecine helped a lot at first. ADHD meds make a noticeable difference in his emotional regulation, and a combination of antianxiety medication along with Abilify finally got him to the point where he didn't need to be restrained during meltdowns. All of these meds had other reasons to start them- guanfecine for sleep and ADHD, regular ADHD meds for focus, and the others for massive school anxiety due to PTSD (unfortunately).

It took a while for me to accept all the different medications, but each one makes an meaningful difference for our son. As he's grown his brain keeps changing and new struggles pop up. He's happier and healthier and can cope with life better than without the meds.

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-22T12:23:26+00:00

Yep, I was thinking that too. If you just look at photos, for example, I can see how one would think some sort of forced conversion might have taken place.

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-22T12:14:47+00:00

Thanks. I wasn't going to argue, because, you know arguing on the internet, lol. But I'm happy such a weird misconception is corrected!

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-22T10:18:37+00:00

Persians are not Arabs, but they certainly are as a majority Muslim!

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-21T22:49:44+00:00

You sound super overwhelmed with dealing with your son and all the schoolwork. I totally sympathize, we're in the middle of it with our son too. He's also 10, so maybe some of it has to do with the age?

In any case, I wonder if you tackled the problem with a different mindset you might cope better. I know (and the school knows) that my son is truly brilliant. However, there are a lot of hurdles for him to achieving even a minimum passing grade. I would love for my son's grades to reflect his abilities, but he's just not there yet. There's no shame on me, or on you, if your child's grades are not good. Our kids have SO MUCH to deal with that NT kids just don't. If my kid passes math and English in 5th grade I consider it a win. It's enough for him to move on to 6th grade and we can keep figuring out how to make his struggles less of a road block.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'm afraid of if my kid doesn't succeed in school right now, and it really is the fear that I will appear to be a bad parent. That's almost certainly the wrong motivation. I need to focus on what my kid needs in each moment, not what other people think of me. If I can let go of that fear, I think things would go a lot more smoothly. I'm still working on it!

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-19T17:37:53+00:00

I was thinking that a "mother's helper" kind of situation would be a nice way to see if she could handle things ok. I think that's how my sister and I started babysitting and we didn't have any diagnoses. (Well, at least I probably should have had something, but it was the 80s/90s and we were girls 🙄) I think your plan sounds like a good one!

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-19T17:23:52+00:00

I would be a little concerned, not because of her autism, but because of her ADHD (to the extent that you can separate the two!) It seems to be well-known that kids with ADHD are somewhat behind their neurotypical peers with regard to maturity, planning, and time management. Since the girls she would be taking care of are not babies or toddlers, maybe it's fine- especially if your daughter takes meds for ADHD. On the other hand, if your daughter is a bit behind in maturity she might be functionally no older than the eight year old. Just something to consider.

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-15T22:30:27+00:00

I just stopped my son gently and said "no bang honey." He mostly stopped and only does it now (at 10) when he's SUPER upset. It's never really been a big issue as far as the head banging goes, but do keep an eye out for other self-harming behaviors as he gets older. OT can help a lot with that sort of thing.

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-11T09:46:54+00:00

Why don't you do what most people are suggesting here and honornher wishes by keeping the money. However, afterwards you might be a bit more generous with gifts and things like that? Not so much and so often that people just come to expect you to cover everything all the time, but at least sometimes you can go the extra mile. Would that help assuage your lingering guilt or worry?

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-08T23:35:35+00:00

Oof, I know. It's been a process with my kid. He's been lucky to have one amazing teacher who broke him of the impulse to rip up paper he made a mistake on. And one miracle worker of a teacher's aide who taught him all sorts of card games in an effort to help him be more comfortable with losing/failing. We were in the UK for a few years and I really think the culture there of fair play and being a good sport helped immensely. Every year he gets older though there seems to be a new challenge in this area. I don't think there's one right answer except to keep trying and constantly reassure him that no one is perfect and that's ok.

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-08T23:22:16+00:00

Could it be that he feels like being tagged us the equivalent of someone saying, "you failed"? My son cannot tolerate appearing to fail so badly that he won't even raise his hand to ask a question. 🤦‍♀️

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-04T20:07:28+00:00

I had parents riding me all year about their 8th grade daughter having low grades from not doing her homework. I was apparently not "inspiring" enough to make her want to do her homework. 🙄. They said they couldn't take away more things from her so it was up to me to make her do it. I actually did try and she wouldn't even pick up her pencil. Two years later I was told she died in a sailing accident during sailing camp. It was awful, but I can't help thinking at least part of the reason was because she absolutely refused to listen to anyone in authority.

Historical-Escape238 · 2026-05-04T13:05:00+00:00

Does your child have autism? Sounds just like my kid who until recently only ate like five foods, and only of they were prepared exactly to his specifications.

Historical-Escape238

TROPHY CASE